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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I am a Closet Lazy Ass, and I am Proud (well, secretly proud)

Anyone who looks at me probably just thinks I never stop. I'm always on the go!

'Wow,how does she do it?'


'Where does she find the time?'


'Did you see that bed she refinished and painted?'

Yes I am busy, yes I carpool, work, have a scheduled calendar in my purse as well as a smartphone calendar just for alarm purposes. I make crafts during Holidays, bake Birthday cakes for family members, drive my kids all over town, have parties/BBQ's/fish taco nights. We love to go camping, I love the beach, I love nights out on the town, either with girlfriends or my hubby. LOVE to dance, laugh, tell stories, skeeball, bowling, anything that I can show my secret competitive side. I simultaneously cook dinner, help kids with homework, talk on the phone to my mom, tell another kid to finish their chores, and check my emails all at the same time.

I could keep going!
                      I am a busy gal!
                                  The list could go on and on!


But what truly brings me joy.....

What I absolutely love the most.....

What I look forward to doing when I have the house to myself........

What is included in my daydream fantasy life, that will never really happen, but a girl can dream..........

What I secretly do with every second of free time that I have........ when no one is home

I grab the remote
I lay in bed
I watch television
Simple!
I LOVE TELEVISION
I LOVE BEING LAZY
I LOVE MY BED
I love it at 9:00 a.m.
I love it at 2:00 p.m.
Anytime
I love it on Weekdays (if its my day off or I get off work early) 
I love it on Weekends

Then I hear it, I hear the sound of the diesel truck pulling into the driveway, the garage door going up.

Shit, the hubby is home!

T.V. off

Look in mirror, Dam pillow wrinkles on face, flat hair in the back!

Run downstairs

Put dryer on tumble ( that same load has been tumbling for 2 days)

Grab a pile of crap from bottom of stairs

Hear keys in door

"Hey babe I'm home. Whatcha up to?"

"Oh, just getting some stuff done around here. I'm on my fifth load of laundry, and now I am bringing this pile of toys upstairs to have K put away in her room."

"Hey did you wash my black sweatshirt?"

"Uhhh"


My husband knows I am a secret lazy ass.He has to know.
That is one of the reasons I love him, and maybe one of the reasons he loves me. A lazy ass who still manages to get it done! How does she do it folks?
He plays it off, goes along with it,but I know he has caught on to me.
Only trying sometimes to catch me at it-"did you wash my black sweatshirt?" (good one honey!)

Well, I am going to end this post,and soak up as much lazy time as I can.Before the hubby and the teenagers ruin a perfectly good, impromptu peaceful day.I had to stay home from work today because my 5 year old woke up with a tummy ache (which is a less gross way of saying she was having diarrhea and vomiting into a bowl all at the same time.) She is now sleeping in her bed, poor little thing, so I am going to have some Lazy Ass Me Time. That is, until I hear that garage door open. Then it is time to spray some Pine Sol into the air, push start on the dishwasher, and hold a spoon in my hand.

"After I took care of our ailing daughter, I mopped,did the dishes and now I am getting ready to cook something. Next I am going to put my feet up. Whoo, what a day! How was your day Honey?" 











9 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! I thought it was only me. With my ex, (pre-spawn) I was the epitome of womanly perfection, always cooking and cleaning.

    He never knew that 2 minutes before he arrived, I'd quickly get dressed, hide the junk food and switch off the tv...ahhh, good times!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have taught many of friends the 'turn the dryer on' trick. Pour some Pine Sol in a spray bottle, and your whole house smells like its been mopped.
      I actually have a bag of Cheetos next to my night stand right this second. Sometimes when my hubby goes on a fishing trip everyone asks "what are you going to do with your free time?" I always feel like I should have some super answer like "shopping with the girls, then a night out on the town", but all I can think is Thank you God, I have complete freedom to just do NOTHING but eat junk,watch t.v., and read all my gossip magazines. All while staying in my bed. I make it seem fun to the kids by pumping it up. Hey kids,we are gonna have a "JUNK FOOD LAZY DAY" doesn't that sound fun? Then I don't feel guilty. ;)

      And thank you, she is feeling a bit better today,but now Mom has it!!FUN day ahead for me!

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  2. Stupid computer clicked off before I could add, hope your little one gets better soon.

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  3. New follower from "Punch in the Throat" and I must agree with you. With three kids (10, 8, 7) and a hubby in the Marines, we are always on the go. But while everyone is gone during the day, I catch up on all those trashy TV shows that have filled up my DVR, while chomping away on a pop tart and sucking down my coffee for energy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brown Sugar Cinnamon! My favorite Pop Tarts! And I have no idea what I did before DVR,missed alot of shows that is for sure! (and probably got more laundry done) Thanks for following

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  4. Ha! I think you are my secret twin..........

    best,
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have 3 older brothers, a secret twin would have been nice! I could have used you for back up years ago when they were ganging up on me and dunking my Cabbage Patch dolls head in the toilet, or getting me to play hide and seek but never coming to find me. ;)

      Thank you for following.

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  5. You are hilarious! New follower. : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, and I will definitely check out your blog a bit more. I would not say that I am an antiquer,sewer,or crafter. But......... I appreciate antiques,have even picked up a few at garage sales with my husband, I own a sewing machine and definitely use it when needed, and when I see a craft I think "hey, I could do that" and I do (or atleast I try) Thanks so much for following, and big thanks for saying I am hilarious ( I use these comments against my husband.For instance "Well, Hubby dear, you may not think I am a comedic genius, but Tina@whatwekeep thinks I am Hilarious. So there!")

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