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Saturday, June 29, 2013

J.R. explains herself with a loooooooonnnnnggggg post with pictures, learns to stop yelling, and tries to toughen up her sensitive side.

*Warning, there may be typos. I don't feel like proof reading myself. :)

So Marianne commented on one of my last posts, asking where I was, and it made me realize 'SHIT' I really have been ignoring my blog.I am sure you all have been there. One day passes, then 3 days, then a week, then 2 weeks, then a month, and next thing you know you are like ....
Crap, what story should I choose to write about?So much shit has happened in the last month.
But, I let too much time go by, and then every time I would turn on my laptop, and log onto my blog I found myself just staring blankly. I wasn't sure where to start, or which daily life story I should rewrite into a funny post. So I would just turn my computer off, and tell myself that I was going to try again the next day. Now it has been a couple months.

Besides a bit of writers block, or finger laziness, whatever ya wanna call it. I have been busy working on me. I tell my stories to make people chuckle. But sometimes woven in these funny posts are little bits of truths that never quite make it to the page. 

Some parts of J.R. that I don't always write about, I will list out here.
  • I am SUPER SENSITIVE, to a fault. I am learning to be stronger, more confident, and less worried what people think about me.I was even feeling bad that, besides not writing any blog posts, I wasn't reading any either. I started thinking, crap I haven't read or commented on ANY. So now if I comment on one, I need to comment on others too. "Oh Crap, NEVERMIND!"  My mom just told me a great saying "What people think about me is none of my business". True, True! So besides co workers, associates, or people on the street, I was putting my teen girls in that category. I was treating them like PEOPLE that don't like me, rather than just hormonal, teen daughters that (by the laws of nature) aren't always going to show that they love their mom. I know they love me, I was just trying too hard, then when I didn't get anything in return, I would BLOW UP!!! 



  • The teenage years (mostly with my girls) reeeeaaaaallllyyyy threw me for a loop. Boom!!! I'm dealing with attitudes, eye rolls, and dislike from little girls that used to worship the ground that I walked on. It was hard, and I wasn't handling it very well. I have always been an extremely patient, fun loving, 'glad to be alive' kind of mom. But I found myself losing my patience, NOT being fun loving, and to be honest I wasn't feelin very 'glad to be alive' . I was so wrapped up in the teenage angst, I wasn't even enjoying my beautiful, happy 6 year old who was right under my nose. 
  • My son (who is 19 now) decided to move in with my ex husband when he was 15. I am the type of person who has things mapped out in my head, and that is the way it is going to happen. My map showed me having the kids live with me, going to school where I live, me making them breakfast, lunch and dinner, knowing every in and out of their day, me being in charge, being the one that signs their papers for school, having their friends over, and just being the overbearing, caring, maternal MOM that I am. Then one night my son sat me down, and said "I need to talk to you mom" and instantly my heart was crushed. I always knew that maybe one day he'd want to try living with his dad, but it still hurt like hell. To this day I still tear up when talking about it. Something about the bond of a mother and son that is irreplaceable.He is only about 1/2 hour away up the freeway, but it wasn't the same. His school papers, report card, and car registration were now being sent to a different address. Instead of meeting his new friends directly I was hearing about them on the phone, or scheduling to take him to lunch so that I could listen to him about how he liked his new High School. Sometimes I would then think to myself "Wow, this must be what my ex husband felt like all these years" Never quite 'in the loop' with every little daily thing. I learned from a therapist that even years later, the fact that I was crying about it still, was because I was almost in a state of mourning. Mourning the 'loss' of my son, even though he was still here. Made sense.  **Want to know a secret that has helped me feel a bit better about it?-- Years have passed, he is out of HS, works, has a girlfriend and is busy. If he did live with me I'd probably want to kick him out. He is a bit lazy, doesn't save any of his paychecks, has attitude when my ex asks him to help with chores around the house,(from what I hear)  and his room is an absolute PIGSTY!! So from afar, I can keep him on that 'Mama's Boy' Pedestal. I like him better that way. 

  • We are a blended family. A his, hers and ours. But I have never made that a focus of my blog, because it would have taken on a life of it's own.C (19 yr. old son) and K (15 yr. old daughter) are mine from my previous marriage. B, (16 yr. old daughter) is my husbands from his previous marriage. He had full custody of her, and I came into her life when she was 7 so basically besides not sharing the same blood, she is my daughter. My two older children see their dad, we get along, all is good there. B just started seeing her mom again after many years. I get along with her mom because I feel (and always felt) that she has a good heart, she just lost her way a bit.  And together we have Ki, our 6 year old daughter. Divorce is hard on kids, it is just a fact. I have even spoken to a therapist who assured me that 'Kids bounce back' or 'Kids are more resilient than you think'  All true words, buuuuuttt..........I am sure in their little minds it just plain SUCKED ASS!! But here we are,we are a family, and that is all there is to it. I won't deny that it was hard at first, and it could have given me SOOOOOOO much blog material, but 9 years later we have it down. 
The 3 older kids,as we were starting to 'blend' our family together. 



And it's official, we are now 'blended'


                                   ......and Baby makes  'His, Hers and Ours'.
  • I always worry about my kids. Is my son o.k.? Is he getting too serious with his girlfriend? Is he ever going to sign up for Junior College, or will he continue working at 'The Grill' forever? He is wasting his genius brain! His car barely runs, I told him to save money and he could buy my car (for a smoking deal) but he hasn't saved a dime. NOT A DIME! Is B o.k.? She is pretty serious with her boyfriend too. He is a GREAT kid, but sometimes I hear them bicker and think "What do 16 year olds have to bicker about? Certainly not mortgages, bank accounts, or kids?". Is that normal? Should I worry? She is frustrated because all of her friends know what they want to do after High School and she doesn't. I tell her that is o.k. She will figure it out, but secretly I was like that too. So I fell in love young, got pregnant, married and became a mom. I don't want my girls doing that. I want them to see the world. Live in an apartment with 4 other girls, eating Top Ramen, and scrounging money to rent a movie. K, my 15 year old is so hard on herself. To her it is straight A's or nothing. I have never been into putting heavy pressure on her, only talks that showed I believed in her. She will be a Sophomore next year, and has her life planned out. She wants to go to FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising). With her grades she could go to Fricken Harvard, not Fashion School. But the moment I show any lack of support, we butt heads and all hell breaks loose. So I am going with it for now. She wants to be a buyer and work in marketing. Hey, maybe she'll prove me wrong and become super successful. KI, our six year old has a heart of gold. I have been doing this weird thing lately where I look at her, then I look at the teens and I get teary eyed. Time flies, and it flies too fast. She will be one of them before I know it, and then I won't have that little girl that wants to snuggle with me 24/7. I won't be asked to color pictures with her, play Littlest Pet Shops, or hear about her day. I am more busy as a mom now then I was when my older kids were  young. I was the room mom for my sons' Kindergarten class, but I also did not work back then. For Ki now, I try to squeeze in some helping time on my day off, but that is also the day I schedule my Doctors appointments, errands, etc. One day she said to me;after hearing stories of my helping in C's class years ago, "Mama, it seems like you helped a lot more when C was in Miss R's class" Remember folks, I am SUPER SENSITIVE, so that sent me into a downward spiral into the black hole called The Mom Guilt's. Mom guilt sucks! 
I have spent the last year trying to get back to the positive, happy go lucky J.R. She was being overtaken by a worry wort, stress case. I am booting that worry wort out of here. She is not welcome. It was affecting me, my children and my relationships.
So I am takin a break, learning to just relax. How to count to ten, take deep breaths, and really be happy in the moment. All is going to be o.k.!


Here are a few things, in no order of importance, that will be keeping me busy for the summer.

Working on Channeling My Stress Elsewhere (as in channeling it OUT OF MY HOME) 
I was reading an article one day about a mom who was trying to work on NOT yelling at her kids so much. It rang true to me, because in the last few years I had turned into a yeller. Mostly at my teen daughters. When I read this article it really hit home. The woman wrote that she was a 'Good Mom' she really was, but she just yelled too much, and she knew it. She then suggested a blog that helped her.  It is called The Orange Rhino Challenge. I read it, and understood everything this mom was saying. I am happy to report my house has been 'Yell Free' for 22 days.  ~a couple of raised voice moments, but not the yelling that was making me disappointed in myself~22 days and counting. If I start to yell, my girls are supposed to look at me and say "Orange Rhino" and it kinda just disintegrates the whole tense atmosphere that had started to build. Yelling became my outlet for all of MY stress. I wasn't even really yelling at them anymore, I was just yelling to yell. They were just the catapult. I feel better already, and the best part is, my family is noticing.

Going on a Girls Trip to Palm Springs With My Teen Girls and Their Friends (Oh, and I surprised my mom, and I am bringing her along) 
I love Palm Springs. Have ever since my first girls trip over 10 years ago. A couple of years ago, I brought my teen girls for their first time, along with my BFF and her teen daughter. I figured I would go again this year, but with just my girls. Then one night, in a moment of hyperness, (or a moment of too much wine) I told the girls they could each bring a friend. Whatever, it'll be fun, and they won't forget it. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my parents getting older, and praying to God they have many more years on this earth with me. I love my parents more than the world. My mom doesn't really have any close girlfriends. I am her girlfriend, and that is a role I don't mind having. I love this woman for everything she has ever done for me. So I reserved an extra room for mom, told her to pack a bathing suit, and she's coming with us. She is so excited, and that makes me excited. My mom has always wanted to go to Ireland, and I don't think I will ever be able to afford to take her. But Palm Springs for four days I can do.  


This past weekend
I wrote this draft before going to Palm Springs. I can happily say, we just got back on Sunday and it was TERRIFIC!!! All the girls got along, my mom was in Heaven (especially since my daughters friends said she was "the coolest Mema ever"), the weather was great, the pool was refreshing and we all felt relaxed. ** Side Note- B's brand new iPhone got stolen from her bag at the pool. YUP, the one I wrote about in the paragraph above. People Suck! Thieves Suck, and that is it!! She learned a hard, disappointing lesson, and my husband is going to upgrade his old iPhone to a new one, and give her his old one. Watch your iPhones Kids, some people have sticky fingers. :(






CAMPING, BEACH, CAMPING,BOATING,RELAXING
We have a few camping trips set up in the next couple of months. One during Fourth of July week at a spot right on the Bay in San Diego, and another in September by the beach. 
In August my husband wants to take me to Catalina Island for our anniversary, via his fishing boat that has a bucket for a toilet.......I will keep my fingers crossed for that, and fill you in on how the bucket went. We have an old 1978 camper, it's old, but I love it. I sewed new curtains for it, and tore out the old wallpaper a few months ago, and now I can't wait to get in and CAMP!
This wallpaper HAD TO GO! Painted the walls white, and put up some beach inspired pictures.




New and Improved. No more old wallpaper, and handmade curtains.

B taking hubby for a ride in the Dinghy
A.K.A. - proving to him she knows how to 'Captain' it before she takes it out alone with friends.

WORKING
OH Yeah, I have a job too, but I won't write a paragraph about that. I'll be working , 'nuff said. BLAH! 
But when I get off of work, I come home and relax here.
See what I mean?
I need to slow down my thoughts, stop worrying, and just relax.
My kids are great, I'm great, my family is great, LIFE is great.
We are all gonna be o.k.
Everything happens for a reason, and we all learn by trial and error. 


My brain is on overdrive sometimes with funny things to say. Sometimes the funny in me wants to say really inappropriate things. That is why I loved blogging. I love twisting things and adding a dash of comedy.I love to laugh, and I seriously am addicted to trying to make others laugh too. I have no excuses for not following my dream of one day being on Saturday Night Live. I could say that it was because I got pregnant and married young, but that is just an excuse. Truth is, I like to dream, but I dream while my ass is on my couch. I am a dreamer,but not always a doer.I will be taking a break this summer, relaxing and pumping up my brain with Wit and Humor. Then I will be back, blogging with a comedic vengeance. 
I mean I was destined to be a funny gal.......

How could I not be funny????

How could I not grow up to love comedy??

How could I let down Lucille Ball who obviously saw something special in me as a baby??


WHAT? 

LUCILLE BALL??




Yes Folks. That is baby J.R. with none other than the famous Lucille Ball
After I finish my summer break, I will explain this picture that hangs proudly in my hallway. This was my 15 minutes of fame, and of course I was too young to remember any of it. 


Happy Summer! 
Enjoy the sunsets,
Hula Hoop in your yard,
Sit by a campfire, 
and 
LAUGH!
Beautiful 

Can she stay 6 years old forever? 

When there is no Hubby or  'Boy Scout' around to help make a proper fire, you just keep pouring lighter fluid on the darn thing. 

Monday, May 6, 2013

I don't always complain about my kiddos.....sometimes I get crafty with them, then complain! Fun with Washi Craft Tape, Woo Hoo!

So there is this stuff all over Pinterest called 'Washi Tape' Washi Who? What? Huh?

Anyway, we are getting ready to re-do K's room (K, being our six year old) I have always HATED!!! DESPISED!! DETESTED!!!! The chalky, weird, gray blue, kinda baby blue, kinda NOT, kinda UGLY paint that is on her walls. Why did I pick it out? I didn't!! It was free...leftover from one of my husband's jobs where the homeowners decided they did not like the color.
HINT - If  homeowner did not like it, why would I like it for our baby girls mermaid themed room?
Aqua Blue?
YES
Sea Foam Green?
YES
Tiffany Blue?
Yes

Muted down bleeeeccchhhh blue
NO!!

Like I said, after six years we are going to spruce up the room. 
Daughter and I picked out the paint
PINK
and husband purchased it.

So one night I was sitting on the edge of her bed staring at her ceiling fan thinking of ways to brighten it up, then I remembered this Washi Tape stuff I keep seeing online.
Went to craft store, picked it up, and without further ado (or complaining) here is my decorated white fan.

Super Simple! Not to mention easily removable, should you change your mind on placement
Washi Crafting Tape, the possibilities are endless.
Actually the possibilities have to end somewhere, huh?
I mean, I don't want to start seeing Washi striped toilet seats, trash cans, cigarette lighters, crack pipes........ 
It almost looks like glued on fabric when you stare at it. 

I asked my husband if he could take the blades off for me.
He said "yes"
I waited
He didn't come upstairs in a timely manner, so......
I grabbed the ladder, electric drill and my inner 'Women Can Do Anything' attitude and set forth.
  
All Done!! Pretty Cool if I do say so myself.
Now time for one of these





Monday, April 29, 2013

Get Out Of My House You Unwanted Guest, but leave the cereal here

I am never going to lose the five pounds that has come to visit like an unwanted house guest, and is refusing to leave. 
Five pounds you laugh! 
I know what you are thinking.
Waaaaa, Waaaaa! Complaining over five pounds! But it isn't just five little pounds spread evenly throughout.
The five (o.k. maybe 8) pound guest has decided to settle in my mid stomach area, where my herniated belly button is already residing. Thanks a lot miracles of life that grew in my stomach. There is not enough room for the both of you.One of you has to go, and since the saggy belly button replacement surgery costs over ten grand, and I have kids to send to college soon,hopefully,It looks like Henrietta the Hernia is staying and Frannie Five Pounds has got to pack her bags and hit the road. Or is  it Annabelle Eight Pounds, depending on what time of day I step on the scale? Whatever her F*ing name is, she has got to get the hell out of my mid-section!! 

BUT IT IS HARD!!
I try! 
I really, really try!!!

I will do good for a couple of days .....hours, .....minutes, but when I walk down the cereal isle, fully intending on grabbing Kashi, or whatever flavorless cereal healthy people eat, and this is in front of my face ........

~and on sale~ 
Well.......what do you expect me to do? 
Be strong?

Being strong is hard, and this cereal is so FREAKING GOOD!!!



Wchhhhheelll, cchhhhh, hggmmmmmmm, Anyway, chhhhhhckkkmmmmm
Sorry, I can't talk type with my mouth full.
I'm finishing my midnight snack, and going to bed.

Tomorrow is a new healthy day!



Monday, April 22, 2013

Siri is teaching my six year old the F Bomb, and other news

Translated into six year old language, it would read:
"Siri, how can Mommy beat this level on Crash Bandicoot and beat the boss?"
O.K., so, I was playing Crash Bandicoot on Playstation. I hadn't played Video Games in years, but it was all starting to come back to me. I got to a level where you have to beat a boss before advancing. I was having a really tough time. My six year old daughter had my phone, and was doing whatever it is that she does when she says "Mommy, can I see your phone?" Usually I'm busy, not paying attention, and then 30 minutes later I discover that she has recorded a video of her Littlest Pet Shops that is 28 minutes long. Do you know how much patience it takes to sit on the couch and watch the videos your daughter has made? Videos of toys? Videos that can last upwards of 28 minutes? Videos of Barbies and Pet Shops having discussions with one another? Videos so shaky it gives me a headache? Things that parents have to pretend to enjoy!
Anyway, this time she asked to see my phone, I was busy trying to 'Beat the Boss' and I guess she wanted to ask Siri to help me out.I could hear my daughter speaking into my phone, and Siris annoying voice speaking back to her........
Next thing you know she throws the phone on the floor, starts to almost cry and blurts out
"I didn't say a bad word to Siri (a.k.a. 'Sorry', as my daughter pronounces it). I didn't tell her to say that bad word mommy, I don't know why she said it. I promise"
HUH?? I paused the game, picked up the phone, and read the screen. 
My 14 year old daughter and I literally had to catch our breath from the loud, long laughter that followed.I couldn't have made that up if I tried.

Homemade Recycled Cardboard Dollhouse
And so you all don't think I am just some negligent mom who plays video games, and lets Siri teach my daughter how to say "F'ing", I figured I would show the above picture. I got the idea from Pinterest, which lead me to this page http://www.redtedart.com/category/dolls-house-2/ A mom who started making a little mini dollhouse with her daughter from cardboard, scraps of material, and other items usually just sitting around the house. Time consuming and a bit tedious? YES. Fun, and wonderful to see my daughter's face light up when I say we can 'work on the dollhouse for a bit'? THE BEST.
"OMG, if she thinks that I don't know that she is taking a picture of me, well she doesn't know that I know her better than she thinks"
WOW, that was like a Dr. Seuss Quote
16 year old daughter has a job!! WOO HOO!!! At a local Taco Shop down by the beach! Of course we eat there all the time now.
And of course we embarrass her, and take pictures of her wiping down the tables. And of course we leave money in her tip jar! Way to go B!! Your first job!


"Mom, can you take a picture of my hair so I can text it to Kalie?"
"Sure Honey" - and my ulterior motive is so I can also write a post about it. My poor daughters....
Have you all seen the Ombre hair look on the internet? Ummm, isn't that just called - "Hey, my roots are showing"? But whatever, tomato / to-mah-to! My 14 year old had been wanting to try the Ombre look. A bit of a beachy, lighter on the ends kind of thing.
Am I a hairdresser? No, but I play one on T.V............
A little bit of bleach, a few pieces of foil, and Voila, Ombre Hair. 
**Before you all start wondering if I can afford conditioner for my daughter, the answer is 'Yes' 
This is kinda the look she was going for. 'Beachy Hair' it is called. Other days she does the whole, blow dried  straight ironed, shine spray, gloss serum look.

* J.R. trivia fact. EVERY SINGLE TIME that I use the word Voila in a blog post, I have to Google the spelling first. :)
Walla
Vwalla
Woila
Valla
These are all the different ways that my brain tries to peer pressure me into spelling it. But I take charge and say "Brain, stop pressuring me! I am going to Google it, and ignore you!!"

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Fear of Teenagers


Ephebiphobia


So my internet homepage yesterday had a list of strange phobias that you may or may not have heard of.

One of them being Ephebiphobia - Fear of Teenagers.

So that explains the debilitating pain that comes over me every day at 3:18 p.m. when I hear the front door open, and the massive whirl of Hollister perfume and teen girl chatter fills up the front entry way.
Followed by a firing squad of questions/comments from my 14 and 16 year old teen daughters.

"I need to find a prom dress, NOW"
"What are we having for dinner? Fish? YUCK!"
"Who was in my room today? Mom, why do you let K play with my stuff? I don't need a six year playing in my room!"
"Can I go out to dinner with Trent tonight? I mean, I don't like fish, so it'd probably be better if I don't eat here."
"Why can't I go out to dinner with him??? I already finished my homework!"
"What? My teacher is crazy.......why did she email you that? I DID turn that in, she is lying!"
"Mom, can I talk to you privately?........can I borrow money?"
"Mom, can you take me to Target, or the mall? I told my friends that we could buy our matching outfits for our dance final...........Yes, they'll pay you back, Geez Mom!!"
"Mom, can you help me get this stain out? Ryan and Troy had a Juice Box war at lunch today."
"Guess what, we are officially, and I mean O-FISH-UH-LEE, the only two people left at school whose parents won't let them have iPhones! You know how embarrassing our pho..........."

"STOP"

"How bout a 'Hi mom'?"

"How was your day mom?"

"That lunch you packed us today was yummy mom!"

"We were just getting ready to ask you that mom. I swear!"

"We do love you mom!"

"That salad was really good......even our friends were jealous."

"You need a hug mom?"

"WE LOVE YOU and APPRECIATE YOU!"





*I always like to add my 'J.R. Disclaimer' at the bottom of these rants. A little something positive to balance out the negative.
The 'Prom Dress/Fish Hater'? She offered to pay for her own prom dress with her paycheck. Sweet right?
The 'Take me to Target / Mall' daughter- She just got a 4.2 GPA on her last report card, and the second highest mark on a surprise Geometry test.

But.......................... the fear still exists. PMS'y teen girls are always creepin around the corner. 4.2 GPA's and money offering aside........Ephebiphobia - It's real. Look it up.


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Who you callin a Turkey? R.I.P. Grandpa


My Grandpa passed away in the beginning of February. I have to say that I did not appreciate my Grandfather as an actual 'Person' until a few years ago. Until then he was known to me as the second member of that famous duo 'Grandma & Grandpa'. AKA Grandparents.

After my Grandmother passed away, my Grandfather was alone, so of course we all tried a bit harder to keep him busy, hang out with him more. It was during that time that I finally recognized my Grandpa for what he was.

A man.
A person.
Somebody with life stories.

I always enjoyed being around my Grandparents, and was lucky enough to have them live 10 minutes away. When my Grandma died it was unexpected, heartbreaking, and just downright devastating. But there was a calmness in my mind, because although she was gone,  the other founding member of the duo was still remaining.
 I still had my Grandpa.
 He still lived in the same house, with the same memories, the same decorations on the wall, and still carried on the same holiday traditions. My waters rippled for a bit, but eventually calmed.

With my Grandpa passing, I realize I am taking it a bit differently. I can't say that I am taking it harder, because I don't know if you can put an emotional gauge on it. But differently is the best way to put it.
Maybe it is because I am getting older. I am looking at things differently in my own life. Death gets to be more and more within reach, and it feels scary. It makes me look at my parents and truly think to myself
"If they ever leave me, I don't know what I would do" 
Yup, I have to say, getting older and dealing with what comes with age is something I have been mulling over A LOT lately! 

But back to Grandpa........

Who you callin a Turkey? 

You Grandpa! You are a Turkey!

When I was little I would tell my Grandpa he was a 'Turkey' He would act grumpy, I would laugh, then he would laugh, and then we would both laugh. 

So in memory of my Grandpa, here are a few pictures.
Cheers Grandpa!
Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery, San Diego
Beautiful view, overlooking the Harbor, Coronado Island, and the city over to the left. 
The Beautiful Urn that he had picked out for my Grandmother. It now holds both their ashes together. 
A spot for Grandpa with his glass of red wine. After the ceremony, we all went to eat at his favorite Mexican restaurant. Cheers! 
After lunch, we decided to visit the mobile home one last time. Too many memories to count. 
Back at my parents home. These are the same Fisher Price toys that my cousins and I played with when we were young. Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren have been enjoying these toys for a long time. Now they will be at my parents house, brought out when the little ones come around.


Now just memories to share  Grandma and Grandpa
One of my favorite pictures of them. 

My Aunt & Uncle bought him an iphone a couple of years ago. He taught himself all the ins and outs of it. One important function being the screensaver. This was at a family BBQ at my brothers house. I asked him what he was looking at on his phone, and he turned it to me and said
"Your Grandma"
His screensaver was a picture of my Gram.

My Grandpa had this funny grumpy side to him. He never wanted anyone making a fuss over him. This picture is a few years old. It is a picture of us as I am asking him which mug he wanted for his coffee. Also if he wanted cream; which I knew he didn't, but it was funny because he hated all the 'Foo Foo' creamers, so I started to ask just to hear him start rambling.  I'm shooshing my hands at him saying "I know, I know! I was just kidding" 
Later on I had posted this picture on Facebook, then showed it to him and said "Hey Grandpa, this is a picture of me showing you how to Raise the Roof, Holla!" He just stared at me, and shook his head. 

This is what I envisioned happening the second he strutted through those pearly gates. Hopefully they are still slow dancin the night away up there in the stars...........

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Sooooooo, ummmmmm, yeah......

I have been busy! Aren't we all?

But, anyway. My next post is going to be a compilation of pictures and captions from my past month.

From sad

  • My Grandpa passed away
  • Stressful day to day blahs
To happy
  • Got up at crack of dawn to make camping reservations that usually sell out in seconds, at our favorite beach campsite.
  • Redecorating our 1973 Itasca Motorhome. I'm talking sewing machine usage, curtain making, wallpaper stripping and all. Pictures to come.
To just regular day to day stuff
  • Meeting our Hungarian website programmer for the first time after only emails for the past year. Thank God other countries teach English, because Americans would be screwed if we had to speak other languages on a whim.- I am speaking for myself. If you are smart and speak ten languages, don't comment. Yay for you! 
  • I am finally turning into someone who enjoys walking. Baby steps toward working out (YUCK) I walked to meet (and surprise) my husband and daughter a couple of miles away at the park where he was taking her to ride her bike. He left before I got there. Let's just say that as he was driving down the road, he had to do a double  quadruple glance to make sure that was really me. His first question?...... "Is everything o.k.?"            His second question?......."What are you doing?" Walking people!! WALKING!!! Yup, this girl is tryin to be fit and healthy. Small framed body does not equal fit. 
I will be back! 
With pictures!



Sunday, March 24, 2013

Kobe Bryant Can't Hear You Honey,STOP yelling at the t.v.!!

I am blogging right this second, all the while looking at my husband every few minutes saying 'mmm, hhhmmm'. -or- 'oh, yeah, wow that sucks babe!'

Why am I throwing out these little one-liners? Because he is watching the Lakers play, and he wants me to be just as passionate and interested as he is.If I have to hear him yell at the T.V. one more time, I may scream. Doesn't he know that the players cannot hear him. And even if they could, they DON'T NEED HIS ADVICE on what play they should have carried out, or how they 'just F*cked up a shot!!'  Unfortunately, I set myself up for this, as I was extremely interested when we were first dating. But good lord,that is what you do when you are in the throes of passion in a new relationship.I mean for god's sake, I was also interested in what type of music he enjoys, what his childhood pets name was, what kind of boy he was growing up, what his hopes and dreams were, whether he was too cold or too hot, does he want me to turn the volume up? is he comfortable? does he like Sushi, or should we go somewhere else? I'll get that for you babe! Sure, I will sit on the little wooden stool with the broken leg, freezing my ass off, watching you re-cement your walkway just so that I can be close to you. I had butterflies in my stomach, sweet fluttering, beautiful butterflies. Now I am not sure what the hell is in my stomach, but I do know that I get horrible bouts of diarrhea every once in a while, and I don't give a crap what his hopes and dreams are, but can he please give me some privacy while I am in the restroom. Wooo Hooo, that turned into a rant! 

I used to watch the Lakers with him when we were first dating. Even when I was at my house, and he was at his. We would sit on the phone, and discuss the game (at the time, Karl Malone was on the Lakers, and I even pegged him as my favorite player, ooohing and ahhhing), I would yell when the other team got the ball away, or when they were unfairly fouled. I would cheer when they made a 3 pointer. Now I roll my eyes when he asks me to watch the game (not to his face, God no. I roll my eyes privately. I have respect for my husband people!!)
I usually say "Hold on babe, let me go put my sweats on and I'll be back downstairs in a minute to watch The Laker game with you"
This is code for  - Let me go upstairs, call my best friend, have a 1/2 hour conversation with her about an ex boyfriend from 7th grade who just found her on Facebook, wash my face, then put my sweats on, "uhh, where are my pink sweats?" Having teenage daughters who wear the same size as you, and like to borrow steal your clothes can have it's advantages. What are the advantages you ask???? Well, I can steal theirs! The disadvantages? You are late for work, you can't find your new black tights that you were going to wear with your new skirt and boots, only to discover they are in your daughters laundry pile.........RIPPED! 
I grab another pair of pajamas, sit down on the side of bed, then start to slump in a 'lay down' position and wish that I could just fall asleep.No tucking kids in, no late night homework help, no running to the store for a child that "forgot" they have a school project due in the morning. Ooooh, a look on my nightstand reminds me that I was going to start reading my new Danielle Steel novel. ( I can amazingly jump from Twilight, to Confessions of a Shopaholic, to the tragedy, lust and passion of a Danielle Steel novel. I LOVE TO READ)
So the Lakers season has finally begun, and I try to multi-task.I grab my book off the nightstand, throw on my Lakers t-shirt my hubby bought me years ago, and make my way downstairs. I will show my husband that I still have passion for the Purple and Gold, passion for our marriage,passion for snuggling up next to him, and all the while I will be sneaking in my passion for reading combined with my passion for blogging and Pinterest pinning. Then, in a few minutes, I will show my passion for sweets. That Easter basket candy I have hidden is calling my name! 


Saturday, March 23, 2013

In case anyone cares, here are my answers to James Liptons 10 Questions

If you have ever watched James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio, then you know about the 10 Questions he asks at the end of each interview.
If you have never watched it, then look it up! The internet is full of information.........
If you are too lazy to look it up, then you are probably too lazy to even read this post, but surprisingly I won't judge you for that because I am also too lazy to read things or look at things people tell me to look at. I am constantly being bombarded by friends and family who will ask me "oh, did you watch that video I sent to you?" -or- "did you ever look up that article I emailed you  regarding the blah, blah, blah" I usually lie and say 'yes' to everything. "Yes I saw it, yes I read it, yes it was _______________!!!!"
 insert appropriate word here
So I won't judge you for not looking it up! No judgement here.



For fun I am going to pretend that I am a famous actress, and James Lipton has just interviewed me. We have laughed, I have cried. I have shared my stories of heartache and struggle, being typecasted in Hollywood, all of the usual interview stuff. Only to finally get my big break on a television sitcom, followed by a role in my first feature film, where I went on to win an Academy award.
                                         WOW, I sure can dream can't I??? Or I am insane, and one day when my husband has the time to actually read my blogs, he may worry. Either way, for today I am pretending.


The ten questions Lipton asks are:
  1. What is your favorite word?  Obnoxious
  2. What is your least favorite word? Ain't 
  3. What turns you on? Honestly my hubby helping me with household stuff (all the while smelling like my favorite cologne)
  4. What turns you off? Just someone who is 'Bluuch' Mean, rude, disrespectful. 
  5. What sound or noise do you love? Sound of my kids getting along, talking or laughing w/ one another
  6. What sound or noise do you hate? The sound of kids getting tickled. HATE IT! The screeching, laughing, the tickler and the ticklee. All of it. BAD!!
  7. What is your favorite curse word? Mother F'er. Mother F'ing Slut if I'm really goin for it. Even a 90 year old man isn't safe from being called that if he cuts me off on the road. Sorry, senior citizens! Road rage exists in me.  
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?Anything that involves traveling. Maybe a photographer. Anything where my creativity makes it so that I am considered a genius! 
  9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything retail. 3 Years at Macys taught me that
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? You did pretty good kid! A few bumps in the road, but you are a good person.Your parents should be proud. Not too mention,you are pretty darn funny. Now come over here and meet my good friends John, Gilda and Lucille. They think you are pretty funny too. 

Friday, March 8, 2013

Screw You Widget Directions! I am not a Rocket Scientist!

I made a Facebook page for my blog. My blog also has a Twitter. I want to add the widgets to my blog. Simple!  Actually, NO , IT'S NOT SIMPLE!

Well, first of all it took me 4 days(exaggeration) to find the directions on the actual Facebook site.

Then it took me 6 days (another exaggeration) to read through the directions.

And 4 therapy sessions (this may or may not be an exaggeration) to deal with the anxiety it caused me trying to 'Copy and Paste' URL HTML WTF Codes into my HTML format.

It's especially worrisome when there is an option to click on a box to 'Save HTML' or you Google
"How to add widgets to your blogger blog" and the first thing that comes up is a warning that you'd better "Backup your HTML format?" Sounds Scary!! You mean I can lose everything.

So here are the directions from Facebook.........Simple Right??

NO!

FORGET IT! 

I GIVE UP!!


Look at these STUPID, LONG Directions!
Sorry Mark Zuckerberg, We are not all Facebook Genius Creators!

Is anyone else as dumb as me?
If the answer is 'NO' then we cannot be friends. You are too smart for me.


Like Button

If you implemented the Like button before November 7th, 2012, read this notice.
On this date we updated how the Like button will function with respect to content restrictions, publishing updates to users and integration with the Built-in Like action.
Like buttons that were implemented prior to this update should read the following developer doc about the Like Button Migration as they may require changes to continue working.
The Like button lets a user share your content with friends on Facebook. When the user clicks the Like button on your site, a story appears in the user's friends' News Feed with a link back to your website.
When your Web page represents a real-world entity, things like movies, sports teams, celebrities, and restaurants, use the Open Graph protocol to specify information about the entity. If you include Open Graph tags on your Web page, your page becomes equivalent to a Facebook page. This means when a user clicks a Like button on your page, a connection is made between your page and the user. Your page will appear in the "Likes and Interests" section of the user's profile, and you have the ability to publish updates to the user. Your page will show up in same places that Facebook pages show up around the site (e.g. search), and you can target ads to people who like your content. Note: The count on the Like button will include all likes and shares whereas the like connection on the Graph APIincludes only the number of likes for the object.
There are two Like button implementations: XFBML and iframe. The XFBML (also available in HTML5-compliant markup) version is more versatile, but requires use of the JavaScript SDK. The XFBML dynamically re-sizes its height according to whether there are profile pictures to display, gives you the ability (through the Javascript library) to listen for like events so that you know in real time when a user clicks the Like button, and it always gives the user the ability to add an optional comment to the like. If users do add a comment, the story published back to Facebook is given more prominence.
Note: The URLs in the code are protocol relative. This lets the browser load the SDK over the same protocol (HTTP or HTTPS) as the containing page, which will prevent "Insecure Content" warnings. Missing http and https in the code is intentional.
To get started, just use the configurator below to get code to add to your site.

Step 1 - Get Like Button Code

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Send Button (XFBML Only) (?)
 
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Show Faces (?)
 
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Attributes

  • href - the URL to like. The XFBML version defaults to the current page.
  • send - specifies whether to include a Send button with the Like button. This only works with the XFBML version.
  • layout - there are three options.
    • standard - displays social text to the right of the button and friends' profile photos below. Minimum width: 225 pixels. Minimum increases by 40px if action is 'recommend' by and increases by 60px if send is 'true'. Default width: 450 pixels. Height: 35 pixels (without photos) or 80 pixels (with photos).
    • button_count - displays the total number of likes to the right of the button. Minimum width: 90 pixels. Default width: 90 pixels. Height: 20 pixels.
    • box_count - displays the total number of likes above the button. Minimum width: 55 pixels. Default width: 55 pixels. Height: 65 pixels.
  • show_faces - specifies whether to display profile photos below the button (standard layout only)
  • width - the width of the Like button.
  • action - the verb to display on the button. Options: 'like', 'recommend'
  • font - the font to display in the button. Options: 'arial', 'lucida grande', 'segoe ui', 'tahoma', 'trebuchet ms', 'verdana'
  • colorscheme - the color scheme for the like button. Options: 'light', 'dark'
  • ref - a label for tracking referrals; must be less than 50 characters and can contain alphanumeric characters and some punctuation (currently +/=-.:_). The ref attribute causes two parameters to be added to the referrer URL when a user clicks a link from a stream story about a Like action:
    • fb_ref - the ref parameter
    • fb_source - the stream type ('home', 'profile', 'search', 'ticker', 'tickerdialog' or 'other') in which the click occurred and the story type ('oneline' or 'multiline'), concatenated with an underscore.

Step 2 - Get Open Graph Tags

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Open Graph Tags

Open Graph tags are  tags that you add to the  of your website to describe the entity your page represents, whether it is a band, restaurant, blog, or something else.
An Open Graph tag looks like this:
 property="og:tag name" content="tag value"/> 
If you use Open Graph tags, the following six are required:
  • og:title - The title of the entity.
  • og:type - The type of entity. You must select a type from the list of Open Graph types.
  • og:image - The URL to an image that represents the entity. Images must be at least 50 pixels by 50 pixels (though minimum 200px by 200px is preferred). Square images work best, but you are allowed to use images up to three times as wide as they are tall.
  • og:url - The canonical, permanent URL of the page representing the entity. When you use Open Graph tags, the Like button posts a link to the og:url instead of the URL in the Like button code.
  • og:site_name - A human-readable name for your site, e.g., "IMDb".
  • fb:admins or fb:app_id - A comma-separated list of either the Facebook IDs of page administrators or a Facebook Platform application ID. At a minimum, include only your own Facebook ID.
More information on Open Graph tags and details on Administering your page can be found on the Open Graph protocol documentation .

FAQ

How do I know when a user clicks a Like button?

If you are using the XFBML version of the button, you can subscribe to the 'edge.create' event through FB.Event.subscribe.

When will users have the option to add a comment to the like?

If you are using the XFBML version of the Like button, users will always have the option to add a comment. If you are using the iframe version of the button, users will have the option to comment if you are using the standard layout. If users do add a comment, the story published back to Facebook is given more prominence.

What analytics are available about the Like button?

If you visit facebook.com/insights and register your domain, you can see the number of likes on your domain each day and the demographics of who is clicking the Like button.

Can I link the Like button to my Facebook page?

Yes. Simply specify the URL of your Facebook page in the href parameter of the button.

What is the best way to know which Like button on my page generated the traffic?

Add the 'ref' parameter to the plugin (see "Attributes" above).
Examples:
 ref="top_left">
When a user clicks a link back to your website, we will pass back both the ref value as a fb_ref parameter and the fb_source parameter in the referrer URL. Example:
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?fb_ref=top_left&fb_source=profile_oneline
Aggregated stream stories contain all ref parameters, concatenated with commas.

When does Facebook scrape my page?

Facebook needs to scrape your page to know how to display it around the site.
Facebook scrapes your page every 24 hours to ensure the properties are up to date. The page is also scraped when an admin for the Open Graph page clicks the Like button and when the URL is entered into the Facebook URL Linter. Facebook observes cache headers on your URLs - it will look at "Expires" and "Cache-Control" in order of preference. However, even if you specify a longer time, Facebook will scrape your page every 24 hours.
The user agent of the scraper is: "facebookexternalhit/1.1 (+http://www.facebook.com/externalhit_uatext.php)"

How do I display the Like button in different languages?

If you are using the XFBML version include the language code when you instantiate the library. Replace ‘en_US’ in this line with the correct locale code:
'//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js';
If you are using the iframe version include a locale parameter with the proper country code in the src URL. Example:
src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?locale=fr_FR&..."
You may need to adjust the width of the Like button to accommodate different languages.

What makes up the number shown on my Like button?

The number shown is the sum of:
  • The number of likes of this URL
  • The number of shares of this URL (this includes copy/pasting a link back to Facebook)
  • The number of likes and comments on stories on Facebook about this URL

What happened to the old Share button?

We deprecated the Share Button when we launched the Like button, because the Like button improves clickthrough rates by allowing users to connect with one click, and by allowing them to see which of their friends have already connected. For reference, the Share button documentation is still available here.

When I click the Like button, the popup window (or "flyout") doesn't show. Why?

If the Like button is placed near the edge of an HTML element with the overflow property set to hidden, the flyout may be clipped or completely hidden when the button is clicked. This can be remedied by setting the overflow property to a value other thanhidden, such as visiblescroll, or auto.
Updated about a week ago