But the appointments I dread the most, the ones that cause me to sweat, feel sick,anxious, and suddenly claustrophobic, are the dreaded well baby / well child checks. Because you know what that means don't ya moms? It means 'SHOTS', Immunizations, lying to your child........
"Mommy has to take you to the Doctor today"
"Oh, just a checkup. So the doctor can look in your ear, and stuff"
"is he just gonna look in my ear?"
"yup" - unable to keep eye contact while lying
"I not getting a shot am I mommy,am I?"
"Umm, I don't know honey, but if you do, you need to be brave"- totally lying. I do know!! I know!!
Already crying " No, No mommy"
"Mommy will buy you a toy afterwards"
I dread the appointment from the moment I call and schedule it. I wish that my stupid smart phone (stupid and smart, wow, what a phone) would forget to remind me, but nooooo its sooooo smart, it reminds me twice. Show Off!!
I usually make morning appointments, so that I can get them over with. Walking into the building as if I am a prisoner on a pirate ship walking the plank. Am I a drama queen or what? I'm not even the one getting the shots. My poor kids are. So I walk in, sign the check in form and wait................
Then when the nurse calls our name, the perspiration starts. I gather up my purse, put down the magazines I was keeping myself distracted with, call my child from the little toy section they have provided to keep the kiddos busy, and head down the hallway of doom. My daughters smile is starting to fade, but the thought of getting a Snow White or Sponge Bob sticker at the end, still keeps a glimmer in one eye. The other eye is darting around looking for Doctor Evil (which is the name she will give him, after the shots are administered) Although, really the nurse is the one who gets to do the deed. He gets to slip out before the screaming starts.
When I am in the room, and the nurse says "the Doctor will be here in a minute" I just sit and stare. Usually dodging more "is it gonna hurt mommy?" questions! Dammit, what is taking him so long. Why is it so hot in here? Could I be pre-menopausal? It's not my appointment, but I'm gonna ask him real quick about pre-menopause? God, it is hot in here!! Yuck, is that dried blood on the ground? Oh, thank god, it's not! "honey, just stay seated. Doctor F will be in here any minute. Yes, I am still going to buy you a toy." Shit, why did I tell her that. My husband and I just had a 'budget' talk again. I will take her to the Dollar Store, she won't know the difference. Why is it soooo hot in here? God, my stomach hurts, I shouldn't have drank so much coffee. UGGGGGHHHHH,WHAT IS TAKING HIM SO LONG!! I thought I was the first appointment of the day.
I scheduled this appointment on my day off, but I tell you, this feels like work. It takes up half my day. I wake up in the morning thinking about it, talking about it, dreading it.
Well, that is how most of the Doctors appointments go. My husband has to work, I go on my day off, or take the day off since it is much more socially acceptable for a mom to re-schedule her whole work week around Doctors appointments then it is for a dad, but not this week people. My husband basically had the week off. His schedule was a bit slow, so he has been doing the Mr. Mom thing.
I came home from work the other day and this was our conversation
"Hey M, thanks for getting the kids and going to the store" - why I am thanking him for the job I do everyday, I am not sure, but it felt like the right thing to say.Even though I work, I have a flexible schedule,so I work and drive kids around,and make it to the store.
"I feel like I have been driving aaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day" - he says with an exhausted face.
"I was just saying"
Suddenly I remember, our five year old has her 5 year checkup on Wednesday. 5 year checkup being a big one, lots of shots probably. I usually work Wednesdays, but Wednesdays are also one of my most easy days. I could totally take my daughter to her appointment at 9, then go to work after. But this Wednesday, I am actually doing the 9-5:30 shift. Covering for our full time girl.
"Hey M, whats your schedule lookin like for Wednesday?"
"As of now, nothing. Why?"
"Well, I have to work a full day, but K has her appointment. Could you take her?"
"Uhh, sure. Yeah, of course" - Was there a hint of "me? why me? you are the mom." I don't know, his voice started to trail that way, but quickly recovered. I will never know. "YES, OF COURSE!" he said again in a matter of fact way.