STOP BEING SO LAZY AND MAKE SOMETHING HEALTHY! This Mom is Taking a Stand, One Post-It Note at a Time!!

It is the same ol' story in households across the country.

Mom and Dad go grocery shopping,

Stock up on some good stuff

Healthy and Not so Healthy living together in one cupboard or refrigerator.

Not So Healthy always being the first to go.

Kids get home from school and are STARVING (which is another post in itself) 

They ask for a snack, when really they are looking for a 2000 calorie fourth meal.

What do they reach for?

Banana?      NO, Waffles.

Fruit I washed and cut up, because I know that is half the battle is them being too lazy to wash or cut it.?         NOPE, no fruit, they want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

Another setting - It is a Saturday afternoon, around 12:30. Kids start to herd into the kitchen, mumbling that they are hungry. I know this because I have supersonic hearing, which sometimes feels like a curse. 

I am hoping to god I hear the fridge door open; because let's face it. that is where most of the healthy stuff is. That is where anything that needs to be washed, cut up, or prepped has it's home. 

Do I hear the refrigerator door? NOPE

I hear the squeaky ass cupboard door. Cupboard - Home of SNACKS!!!

Then I walk around the corner and see the freezer door open. Freezer - Home of Waffles and Ice Cream.

Immediately I spring into action.

Psycho Kitchen Warden Mom takes charge, and starts in on her lectures.

"It is 12 freaking 30. LUNCH time! Make LUNCH! Cereal and waffles are for breakfast, which you already had, and don't get me started on the ice cream. 3 hours ago you were dousing your waffles with pure sugar, a.k.a. 5 pounds of syrup, and now you want to eat the ice cream? Make a sandwich first, then you can have a SMALL bowl of ice cream."

What am I met with? 

The moans, groans and grumbles of what you would think were teenagers living in a boot camp getting told to run 40 miles at 0300 in the pouring rain.

"A sandwich? Then I have to take out all the stuff. What do we even have good to make sandwiches? Turkey? I hate Turkey, and I'm sick of Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Never mind, I'm not hungry."

aaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddddd......... teenager exits the kitchen; with a look that should be saved for someone who just lost their childhood pet.

"Waaaa Waaaaaa! Want me to call you a WWWaaaaaaaa mbulance??"

I chuckle to myself.

"Ugghh, mom, no one even says that! You are such a weirdo!"

Hubby and I went grocery shopping on Sunday. The older girls were with friends at the beach, but I knew when they got home they were going to be hungry. So I sprung into action.

* By the way, when I write "these are for lunches" it means they are quick and easy snacks that are to be saved for packing in their school lunches.School lunches that should consist of a sandwich, some type of fruit, and one 'quick snack item'.

 Had to explain that, otherwise it makes me seem like a crazy mom contradicting myself. 

"Waffles are for breakfast only. Grab a banana!!"

My kids think that Goldfish or Cheez its are an acceptable substitute for a sandwich. When they pack their own lunches in the morning, they will stand there pouring the whole box into a zip loc, and call it a meal.

Chocolate Chip Granola Bars are gone in 2.2 seconds in this house. Not any more! Not with my new Post -It note plan!

Cereal is for BREAKFAST!!!
and for mom's late night snack, but these rules don't apply to mom.
I am an adult! I can do what I want! I pay for the cereal!
You kids go make a sandwich!

EAT THIS!!!!!
* Oh, by the way. When you go grocery shopping with hubby, and you both venture off on your own; throwing stuff in the cart without checking if your hubby already did the same, you end up with double of a few things.
So I am pretty serious now......these kids really need to eat some fricking bananas!


See the picture below?
This is my fridge stocked with fruits, vegetables, yogurt, and sandwich fixings.
Ohhhhhhh, but that is too much work!!!
It is so much easier to grab a Chocolate Chip Granola Bar!
UGGGHH!!!!!!!

I LOVE MARGARITAS

I am supposed to be getting ready for work

I dropped my daughter off at pre school and came back home

I am enjoying my empty quiet house

I am supposed to be heading into work

I don't want to go to work today

I want to bask in the glory of my quiet empty house

I want to play on my laptop,watch my DVR'd shows,read magazines,paint my nails, take a nap,play on laptop more,read a book, read some blogs, sit in my bed, eat Lays potato chips, have a bowl of ice cream for lunch, enjoy this dreary weather in my QUIET EMPTY HOUSE!

Did I mention I am in denial of having a job? Sometimes I do that. I have worked there for 11 years, I kinda make my own hours, as long as I don't take advantage. I want to take advantage today!

I should be getting into my car right now and heading in, but my butt won't move from my bed. 

This is a random post! I just felt like typing something before I headed into work.

The work I don't want to head into.

Not because I hate it there.

Quite the opposite.

In fact I work with one of my Best Friends, and I actually enjoy my job!

But sometimes motivation steps away, and the need for a 'LAZY ASS ME TIME' day comes a knockin on my door!

Oh...

Why did I title it I Love Margaritas?

Well, cuz I do

And that is what will keep me going today.

That will be my light at the end of the tunnel.

That is what I will focus on (well, I mean I will focus on work, but.. well.. you know) 

I will think of the well deserved Margarita that I will get to enjoy at the end of my workday.

I get off at 3 today, but it'll be 5 o'clock somewhere

I really don't want to go to work today

I really do love Margaritas

No matter what you are doing today,

Have a good one!

Suzy the Meth Head gets a second chance at life. Thanks to my lack of blogging time.

I basically closed my eyes, scrolled down some old posts, and chose one to re-post.

Why?

I have been SUPER busy the past few weeks. Work, kids, husband, family. Birthday parties, and BBQ's on the weekends. Kid stuff on the weeknights.
A 5 year old who told me I wasn't coloring with her enough anymore. Ugghh, can my heart break anymore?
A 13 year old who just wants to talk at night.
A 15 year old who is mending a broken heart.
An 18 year old consuming my mind, because he is not making the wisest choices in his Senior Year. 2 1/2 more months to go kid, come the hell on!!
A husband who wants some 'alone time' with his wife.

Anyway, I just chose a random old post (from when my blog was still set to private, and I was just writing for myself) I wrote this on 8/3/2011.

I have a couple new posts in the works. And I will put some time aside for myself this weekend while my husband is in his fishing tournament. Crossin  my fingers he wins. Extra money around tax time is a bonus!

ENJOY...................

Suzy- Is she a meth head or a homemaker? Fact or Fiction?

So I was going to start blogging everyday! Hmmmm, what happened? LIFE happened. Oh, and also the fact that I am a lazy, procrastinator. (Slightly kidding)


I want to become a writer. I dream of it. I read books all the time, and as I'm reading, as I get sucked into the characters lives, and can think of nothing else but what is going to happen at the next page turn, somehow, my brain also thinks deeper. Deeper into how the author thought of these characters. Did the author have to research cancer, because in her book one of the main characters is dying from it? Did the author actually travel to the town of 'Beachport' to locate every convenience store, diner, used car lot, and hair salon, so that her scenic descriptions were true and correct? Or does the author just take people, places, personalities, situations, towns, and lives from her very own life and somehow twist, mold and shape it into 'fictional' characters?
I love to write- but I am having a hard time writing fiction. Because every person I start to write about turns into me. Or some element of me. Sometimes funnier than me, more outlandish than me. Stronger than me,a bad girl version of me. She may even be a meth head prostitute,( the complete opposite of me, I promise) but somehow if "Suzy" the meth head decides she is hungry, and I write about her stopping off at a McDonalds to buy a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and  a large Dr. Pepper,but McDonalds won't take her coupon because it expired in 2010, and we are now in 2011, but how was poor Suzy to know. I mean her purse is a mess, with all of the receipts, gum wrappers, post it notes, grocery lists, and just plain junk, so she begs the guy at the drive thru to take it, because she only has three dollars, her ATM card is MIA, and her daughter is in the car seat crying. Not to mention she is late to pick up her other kids from school (and if she is late to get them, even by 30 seconds, the texts start coming, and they come FULL FORCE. "Mooommm, are you coming? Where are you? OMG!! ") And Suzy is just so hungry, and all she wanted was to treat herself to a Quarter Pounder, sit in her car, scarf it down, then go home and start doing laundry and helping with homework. Well folks,I've just incorporated myself into Meth Head Suzy.I love, love, love Quarter Pounders, I have definitely dealt with the embarrassment of handing over an expired coupon to a clerk, just because I was trying to rid my purse of the heap of trash, consuming its every pocket, one mangled coupon at a time.About my purse, Oh good lord, you should see my purse. I just won a game at a baby shower where you had to go down a checklist of miscellaneous items, and you got so many points if you could prove you had all of these items in your purse. Not only did I win, but I actually won the bonus points for the "extreme item" I mean who does not have their daughters baby teeth in a ziploc bag at the bottom of their Louis Vuitton? I was on my way to run upstairs and hide them, but my daughter came out of her room, so I panicked and stuffed them in my purse. Just having a busy week, not enough time in the day to take them out and put them away.
Wow, I have really gone off subject. The point is, I even found a way of turning Suzy Meth Head into Suzy Homemaker. So it starts off one way, but all in all, it's me!! I have a busy life, and it makes for some GREAT stories. So I am starting to second guess my life choice of wanting to be a writer.
Stand Up Comedian specializing in the tales of my life! THAT'S IT!! That may be my new venture. Now to just get over this increasing daily anxiety that is starting to plague my every move. I would definitely have to be drugged up with some perfectly legal prescription pills before I could get my butt up on a stage.
Oooooh. Kkkkk. So maybe stand up won't be my thing. Back to writing.......let the creative juices start flowin! Wish me luck ;)   Oh, one more thing, I do not,nor have I ever owned a Louis Vuitton. Suzy the Meth head might have gotten one as a present from her pimp, but I don't have one. This Mama's way, way to thrifty for that.

This is what I think........and I don't care what they think

Woke up to the sun shining through my bedroom window this morning.

I think I will put some shorts on, and sit outback reading the Hunger Games.


My husband thinks that we should straighten up the house a bit,then sit down and go over our budget.


I think that idea sucks!








My daughter asked if her boyfriend could come over, so they could hang out and watch a movie.


She said the DVD player in the living room wasn't working, so they had to watch it in her room.

"Don't worry, my door will stay wide open. I know the rules"

I think the movie they are going to watch sounds entertaining. They won't mind if I sit in the middle of them,and watch it too.

They think I suck!

I think my five year old daughter's room is a DISASTER.

I asked her to please clean her room. I think that is not to much to ask.

She thinks she can answer back to me 'I will mommy........when I feel like it......tomorrow o.k.?'

I think she may have inherited some of my lazy gene.

I think I hear her in there cleaning now. Hmmmm! I think maybe she is not so lazy after all.

I asked my thirteen year old what her plans were today?

She said 'I think I want to go shopping.'

I asked 'With what money?'

She stared at me blankly, thinking I was going to go outside and pick money off of our tree.

I think she should call up some friends, and go to the beach.

She said 'I don't know why but shopping just sounds fun.'

I think she is a shopaholic, with no money, and an intervention is in the future.

I also think she had better have a successful career, and make lots of money (or marry a rich man). 

My husband just told me that I look 'hot' in my shorts(even though my legs have not seen the light of day for a few months) and it is such a beautiful day outside that he is thinking he may detail my car for me, and then afterwards we could sit outback and have lunch. 

'I think we should worry about doing the budget later' he says.

I don't think he sucks anymore!


I think he is a wonderful guy!

I think today is a gorgeous day.

I think I am going to enjoy today.

*I think I may buy myself some self tanning lotion.

My Son is ...gulp...Almost a Man!

My Son is the oldest, but still my baby. I am feeling a bit mushy about him right now, so if you feel the mush in this post, I apologize. It probably won't last long. That little sucker will probably upset me again in a week. 

Upset is more humorous than mush! 

My son will be 18 years old on Valentines Day. Yup, the day of love. And boy I love him! From the  moment he kicked me in my bladder and made me pee my maternity pants, I knew he was a keeper! Boys are great, they love their momma's like nobody else can. But little boys grow into big boys. Sometimes big boys are dirty,rude,lazy,disrespectful slobs who can play Xbox Call of Duty until 3 in the morning, but can't figure out the washing machine. They can eat a whole bag of Doritos and finish up the last bit of Orange Juice straight from the carton, but won't take the time to make a sandwich. But we love 'em!!
Yes, my little boy who was once the sidekick of all sidekicks, is going to be a man soon. Man may be to strong of a word though, and honestly I'm not quite sure he is ready for what being a man entails.

This 'little boy/man' had been slacking the last few months on looking for a job.His first job was awesome,but unfortunately he got laid off, and for some bizarre reason,he was under the assumption that he had reached his quota for the year as far as labor. The moment he was laid off, we started pushing him to find a job.

Job talk dialogue:

Adult: Hey how about after school you go to Stater Brothers, Albertsons, any grocery store for that matter. Fill out an application.There is the one right across the street from your school. It is a good place to get your foot in the door, especially for benefits and stuff.

Teen that thinks money grows on trees: Nawww! Grocery stores are kinda lame.

Adult: - speechless- (but inside thinking, really?? Did you really just say that?)

Adult: Lame? It's a job, what is 'lame' about it?

Teen that thinks Genie and his magic lamp are going to show up: I don't know. Ty and Kevin work at Stater Brothers, and they are always complaining about all the hours. They hate it there, like it's boring, and just Grocery stores are so generic.

Adult: Oooo.Kkkkk. Well, what about the restaurants that are all around dads house? You could be a busboy, make tips. One of my first jobs was hostessing at the restaurant on the pier,and even hostessing I made good tips.

Teen that thinks maybe he will meet a Sugar Momma soon: Tips would be cool!!! Yeah, I went into that coffee shop that my old English teacher opened up. They aren't hiring anymore,but I talked with him, and he said he'd let me know if they ever need anyone. So I've tried restaurants.

Adult: You have "tried restaurants" Sssss. With an 'S' on the end?

Teen that is just waiting for a long lost uncle to mention him in his will: Wellll, I mean I drove by a few, but they didn't have signs on the window. I'll go to some places tomorrow.

Adult: SIGNS IN THE WINDOW? What do you think this is, Mels Diner? People don't put signs in the window anymore.

Teen that maybe I breastfed too long,held too much, coddled to an extreme, waited on hand and foot,made sandwiches for because he 'didn't know how to', did laundry for,you get the point: Who's Mel? Is he hiring? Can you get me a job there?

Well,I am proud to say he is now a proud member of the high school student workforce.He has a corner office with an ocean view,and earns 6 figures a year. NOT!!! He is employed at a local city baseball field concession stand. At first I was a bit agitated, but kept it to myself. I mean Concession Stand? So you are going to sell candy bars and popcorn for Little League games? Way to go son!! How is their 401k option? Health Benefits? Wow !! Awesome.

But I did not show my disdain for his journey into the world of Hot Dog carts. I smiled, like any good mom, then shot my husband  a "just smile" glance from the other side of the living room. I could tell he was pumped about this new job. I have not heard him this excited since I surprised him and took him to see Weird Al Yankovich in concert when he was 9.I have not seen his face light up this much since a girl in 8th grade texted him a picture of herself in her bikini. ( which I then made him erase immediately, and proceeded to lecture him for about 2 hours on the dangers of sexting, and having respect for women, ALL women!  I said "you have respect for me right?"  Well, when I was a teenager they didn't have cell phones, but if they had, and hypothetically speaking, if I was the type of teen girl who thought she looked pretty cute in her fluorescent yellow bikini with the pink flower in the middle, and her matching scrunchi, and pink hoop earrings from Contempo to match, and I texted a picture of myself to a boy, who I use to drool over every day at the beach,and lets say that boy forwarded that picture to 300 of his closest friends. "Well how would you feel if someone did that to me?" He then asked to be excused, and went into the bathroom , where I heard faint vomiting sounds for about 20 minutes) I guess comparing 14 year old me with his 14 year old crush did the trick, or made him sick. Either way, hope it made a point!!

Our next adult question was how many hours are they going to be giving you?

Teen who may be doing his college thesis on the evolution of the hot dog: Well, I'm on a trial basis at first. But I will know more later.

Adult: - Smile -

Well, I decided to drive up to Orange County yesterday evening to check him out at his new job. He told me to come around 6, and maybe he'd be able to take a break and "hang with me".

I tell you what!! Popcorn & Candy this is not! Some of the items on the 'le menu' (trying to sound fancy)

• Teriyaki Chicken Rice Bowl
• Spinach Wrap
• Maui Teriyaki Burger
• Chicken Ceasar Salad

YUM!

A mothers bond with her son is almost unexplainable. It is amazing that someone can piss you off so bad, that you have hung up on him, almost wanted to wipe his smart ass smirk off of his smart ass face, almost wanted to spank his 'smart' ass,but you can't because he is now way taller than you. Hunted him down at a party, because he snuck out, and you know he is at that Vic kids house, where you know the parents are the 'cool' parents that let them drink. Dam those parents!!!! But I make cookies, doesn't anyone want to come to our house? 

All these things get washed away when you head up a cement ramp towards a 'Gourmet' Concession Stand and see a smile so big that it is visible even through the handprints on the glass of a walk up order window. All the ups and downs of the teen years are put aside, when you see your son grab the aluminum handle on that sliding window, shove it open, and stick half of his 5'11'' body out of the tiny opening.

"Hey Mom" 

I kiss the top of his head, and shove him back in the window.

He takes my order,and lets me know that he will come out in a minute to eat his burger and take his break with his sister and I.  He has a funny laugh as he writes my order down on his little ticket pad. Normally with a food establishment full of teenage boys, I would wonder if the laugh was an insight as to how my food was going to turn out, but then I remembered it was my son. Surely he wouldn't spit in my food.

He comes out a few minutes later with his cheeseburger and gives me a huge hug.I would have kept hanging on, but I composed my sappy self. 

"Look at you dealing with the public, taking orders and stuff!" 

"Ummhhhhchch YUP I mmlikemm working chhhheremmm" Scarfing down his cheeseburger, like a contestant who just won a challenge on Survivor Island.
"Where is our food C?"

"Your order will be called soon mom" - and again with the funny little laugh

So I watched him eat, listened to his story of the first customer that got a tad bit upset at him for not serving him fast enough, heard all about his new friends (both from school and work), and glanced around the fields. It is kinda a happening place. All lit up for night games. Skate park, toddler playground, and of course baseball/softball teams galore. The place was pretty packed from people in the stands watching their family members play, to families waiting for their C'est Magnifique food orders. 

Then I hear it, the reason for my almost grown man of a son to be giggling like he did when he was 5  watching the Rugrats. My name was being called from the loudspeakers, and I noticed people looking around.

"Mom"

"Order ready for MOM"

"Mom your orders ready"
"Tiki Tenders for MOM"

I look at my son, who in turn is looking up at the window to his buddies. They are inside laughing as well, and then I get a huge smile on my face. I didn't feel like an outsider. I didn't feel stupid, or as though they were laughing 'at me'. I felt like I was let in. Let in on a joke, let in on his job, let in with his new circle of friends, let in to his life.He wasn't embarrassed of me, but rather the opposite. He was happy I was there. I walked up, grabbed my Chicken Tenders from a nice boy who stuck his head out the window pronouncing 'Nice to meet you C's mom!', and sat back down next to my little boy.

The time flew by. I was enjoying his stories, as he was getting a kick out of mine.
Jumping up a few minutes later, he told me he had to get back to work. 

"I love you mom! I'm glad you guys came" 

"I love you too Boo"

One day that boy I call 'Boo' actually will be a man. A man with a girlfriend, fiance, or wife. A man that may choose a career that leads him to another state. A man that travels, and is only able to pop in once every couple of years. A man who marries a woman whose family takes precedence over ours. 

So for now, if I am his money tree (money 4 inch potted plant actually) then so be it. I will dust off my magic lamp, make him sandwiches when he is hungry, listen to him when he needs me,and help him with his laundry. I will always tell him to shoot for the stars, or chicken nuggets in the shape of stars. Whatever makes him happy.That's just what moms do.

Mom, order ready

I am a Closet Lazy Ass, and I am Proud (well, secretly proud)

Anyone who looks at me probably just thinks I never stop. I'm always on the go!

'Wow,how does she do it?'


'Where does she find the time?'


'Did you see that bed she refinished and painted?'

Yes I am busy, yes I carpool, work, have a scheduled calendar in my purse as well as a smartphone calendar just for alarm purposes. I make crafts during Holidays, bake Birthday cakes for family members, drive my kids all over town, have parties/BBQ's/fish taco nights. We love to go camping, I love the beach, I love nights out on the town, either with girlfriends or my hubby. LOVE to dance, laugh, tell stories, skeeball, bowling, anything that I can show my secret competitive side. I simultaneously cook dinner, help kids with homework, talk on the phone to my mom, tell another kid to finish their chores, and check my emails all at the same time.

I could keep going!
                      I am a busy gal!
                                  The list could go on and on!


But what truly brings me joy.....

What I absolutely love the most.....

What I look forward to doing when I have the house to myself........

What is included in my daydream fantasy life, that will never really happen, but a girl can dream..........

What I secretly do with every second of free time that I have........ when no one is home

I grab the remote

I lay in bed

I watch television

Simple!

I LOVE TELEVISION

I LOVE BEING LAZY
I LOVE MY BED

I love it at 9:00 a.m.

I love it at 2:00 p.m.

Anytime

I love it on Weekdays (if its my day off or I get off work early) 

I love it on Weekends

Then I hear it, I hear the sound of the diesel truck pulling into the driveway, the garage door going up.

Shit, the hubby is home!

T.V. off

Look in mirror, Dam pillow wrinkles on face, flat hair in the back!

Run downstairs

Put dryer on tumble ( that same load has been tumbling for 2 days)

Grab a pile of crap from bottom of stairs

Hear keys in door

"Hey babe I'm home. Whatcha up to?"

"Oh, just getting some stuff done around here. I'm on my fifth load of laundry, and now I am bringing this pile of toys upstairs to have K put away in her room."

"Hey did you wash my black sweatshirt?"

"Uhhh"

My husband knows I am a secret lazy ass.He has to know.

That is one of the reasons I love him, and maybe one of the reasons he loves me. A lazy ass who still manages to get it done! How does she do it folks?

He plays it off, goes along with it,but I know he has caught on to me.

Only trying sometimes to catch me at it-"did you wash my black sweatshirt?" (good one honey!)

Well, I am going to end this post,and soak up as much lazy time as I can.Before the hubby and the teenagers ruin a perfectly good, impromptu peaceful day.I had to stay home from work today because my 5 year old woke up with a tummy ache (which is a less gross way of saying she was having diarrhea and vomiting into a bowl all at the same time.) She is now sleeping in her bed, poor little thing, so I am going to have some Lazy Ass Me Time. That is, until I hear that garage door open. Then it is time to spray some Pine Sol into the air, push start on the dishwasher, and hold a spoon in my hand.

"After I took care of our ailing daughter, I mopped,did the dishes and now I am getting ready to cook something. Next I am going to put my feet up. Whoo, what a day! How was your day Honey?"