Needed by the hubby-
"Babe, where is my hat with the black rim?"
"I don't know, you wore it last"
"But you find everything. You are just good like that"
"Yeah......You are right!.......It is on the top shelf of closet, under your work shirts, half a centimeter away from my jewelry box, facing North East"
Needed by the kids-
"Mom where is the nail polish remover
hair shine spray
my black Vans
my grey Converse
my black strapless bra
box of tampons we just bought
- Refusing to have sex with your husband at spontaneous times, or any time that you know the kids are awake, for fear of them needing you.
- If giving in to having spontaneous sex, or kids are awake kind of sex, you are unable to fully relax, because one eyeball is firmly planted on the bedroom door.
- Trying to act relaxed, but all the while asking your husband, "are you sure you locked the door?"
- Hearing a creak in the floorboards, and pushing your husband off of you saying "see, I knew this was a bad idea"
- Yelling to your kids "does anyone need anything out of my room?? I have diarrhea (wink, wink) and I want to be left alone for a while, so NO KNOCKING on my door" - that is how I prep the kids, and hope there will be no knocking! All the while, looking over at hubby whose nose is scrunched up, thinking he was going to get lucky, saying "you are joking right?Do you really have diarrhea right now?"
"No, not chores. Although, good idea. More chores would be helpful. I'll get back to that one!"
"Anyway. The door knocking is getting out of hand!"
"Well, what else are we supposed to do? If we need something!"
"Not to mention, sometimes you don't even knock! You just walk in!"
"Because we know you are already in bed, or sleeping. We come in quietly!"
"If our door is shut! We may be busy.....Busy.....Busy, talking, discussing important stuff, changing, or maybe even having an argument. Leave us alone!"
"But, if we need the nail polish remover, what else are we supposed to do? I mean, you always put it under your sink and............"
"Oh, God Mom, STOP!!! Don't say that!!!"
"Doing it! Having Sex! Freaky Freaky, Bumpin and Grindin!..........."
"We are married! We have sex! How do you think you all were made? How do you think I was made? Mema and Papa had sex"
"Well, you two wanted to keep arguing! You deserve it!"
"We are leaving! I am never knocking on your door again"
"Well, if you think that, then leave us alone"
"I can't believe you guys do it when we are home! I thought you only did it when we were gone"- this was the comment of all comments, as there is always, at some point, atleast one kid home. So my daughter thinks we NEVER DO IT!