Does this frazzled, stressed out look make me look fat?

I am frazzled!

But not like frazzled beyond belief.....
Not frazzled, like 10 kids, 4 quintuplets, lost job, no income, living on the streets, kind of frazzled.

Just normal frazzled.

If I did have quintuplets, I guess I would feel like I have a right to complain.

But I don't.

But what I do have is this-

An 18 year old son who has graduated,and doesn't really need me, but I can't seem to let go of him. I want to baby him, take care of him, and have control of his life. But I don't!
I haven't for a while.

I have a 15 1/2 (almost 16) year old daughter who is 'in love' for the 3rd time (this time 'for real') and she needs a ride EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a 14 year old who just started high school as a freshman, and is trying to keep up with the 15 1/2 year old junior. She is a bit 'lost', yet somehow mature, and intelligent beyond her years.

I have a 5 year old who is really the only one who tells me she loves me anymore.

The teens only say 'I love you' as I am giving them money, or rides, or the answer they want to hear (which is YES!) In defense of the teens, they are not awful. They are not spoiled brats who just came off of the set of My Super Sweet 16 on MTV. I just condense it for the blog world. There are still hugs. There is still love. But, boy oh boy, raising teen daughters is giving me a run for my money. 

The job that I have had for almost 12 years is getting 'boring' to me.Not to mention changing directions. A direction that I am hoping I can keep up with. They are a family. I love them, but I love being creative. I love writing, crafting, painting, creating, and especially making people laugh. My dream has always been to be on Saturday Night Live. I work in an office. Not in a crafty live t.v studio set, based somewhere in New York City.

 Is it o.k. to secretly wish that I was one of those "Make A Wish Kids" and that I could make a wish to star on one episode of SNL?..............................DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!! I have the answer.It is horrible to think that, as we all know that the Make a Wish Children deserve it! Me? I am a 38 year old healthy woman who just wishes that I could 'Make A Wish'. But in no way do I actually deserve to Make A Wish and have it come true.

Blah!

Blah!

Blah!

In recent news, I handed over control of the teen girls to my husband. All of the taking advantage that they were doing was really getting to me. I think it has helped.

It felt so good to rest in my air-conditioned room the other evening while I heard this as I was eavesdropping   trying to brush my teeth-

Dad- "So, you got it???The rules are the rules! Your mom needs a break, so you will now be calling me for rides. You will call me when you want to go somewhere after school! You will call me if you want to have a friend come over! AND IF I SAY NO, IT IS NO!!!!"

Girls- "But....But............."

Dad- "But, BUT NOTHING!"

Girls- "But, what if I need to get aho?????????"

Dad- " Ahold of what??? Ahold of me???? If I answer, Great!!!! If I am up on a 20 foot scaffold with a hammer in my hand, and can't answer the phone.......well then the answer is 'NO' N...O...! GOT IT? Great, good night!!!"


Why is it so much easier for him?

Why is he able to just 'shush' them, and walk away?

Why are high waisted shorts back in style? Oh off subject!

Sometimes these girls are my confidantes!
Sometimes they are my buddies!
Sometimes they need their mommy!
Sometimes they hug me, and make me feel like the most loved mom ever!

But.....
Sometimes they are just teen girls

And
Sometimes, I have to remember I was a teen girl once too
And hopefully one day, they will be back on my shoulder.Crying, and laughing.Confiding, talking, and loving!

For now I have this

A five year old just wants to be with her Mama!
A five year old tells her Mom "Mama, you are the prettiest, best Mama EVER!"
Can I just keep producing five year olds? 

A five year old who has no idea what Facebook is (o.k. she does, but she doesn't have one)
She doesn't know that having a mom is embarrassing! In fact, quite the opposite. She wants 'Mama' to stay with her all day at school, and never leave. She doesn't make me drop her off down the street, and around the corner, all the while pretending I don't exist.
She doesn't show discomfort when I hug her, squeeze her, or grab her little booty! Sorry, but little booties are sooo cute!
She doesn't want to slam her door shut! She wants it open
She doesn't want to sleep in her room, forgetting to say goodnight because she is too busy on her phone.She wants to sleep in bed with Mommy and Daddy.

Which makes me think..............

Parenting is just one big mess of confusion.
You spend so long waiting till' the 'next stage', only to curse it.
You put so much thought into how you can do everything right, only to have it backfire on you.
You want them out of your hair, out of your room, out of your bed, to hurry up, to shush, to give you a moment of peace, to give you just 'one second of silence', to please play the 'who can be the quietest game' for a bit more longer, to just LEAVE YOU ALONE!!!! You want all of this!

But then they get older, and you want them in your hair, in your room, wanting to sleep with you, slow it down, talk more, break the silence,not be so FRICKING QUIET. You want them to not be strangers.

I guess parents can't win.

We are all just doing the best we can.

My best really isn't too bad. Even my teens would begrudgingly agree!

I am going to end this post now, because this five year old has now rolled over, kicked me, and asked me in her sleep , to "turn down the light on my laptop".

See, this is where confusion sets in. I am now wishing she was a teen that wanted nothing to do with me, or my bed! 

Happy Labor Day everybody! As being a parent is one of the most laboring jobs there could be.