Some may call it "over explaining", I call it a big ol' run on sentence of entertainment!

This post is just going to be a whole bunch of sentences. I am starting off explaining why I started blogging, but I am not sure how I will end. Didn't really plan out this one.

Enjoy!

One of the reasons I started blogging was because I like to write. That is most likely the case with all bloggers, I am sure.

But my desire to write does not come from a place of sophisticated literature knowledge.
It does not come from a 4 year stint at a University, where I am now putting my degree to good use.
Not even a 2 week try at a Junior College, taking English, Art,Psychology,Math and Human Sexuality

I actually just like to tell stories. I love the feeling of being in a room full of people, whether it is at a party, a PTA meeting, work, or in line at the grocery store, and being able to feel connected to others because of the words that are flowing from my mouth. If words start trickling out, and those trickles turn into a steady flow, and that steady flow fills up into a large pool of sentences, words, laughter, feelings, emotions, and it is then reciprocated by whomever is near or listening, then I feel as though I have literally won a prize. An award, a Mental Trophy with my name engraved on it.

1st Place Award

J.R.

Most likely to connect with others through words and stories

I also love comedy. I love when I am flipping channels, and come across a good stand up comedian. My favorite type of standup is the type where you are literally slapping your knee, (or in my case, punching my husbands leg each time I laugh) and with each 'punch'line, you are saying outloud:

OH MY GOD!!

That has totally happened to me!

I know what he/she is talking about!

OH MY GOD! I know that feeling!

Uggghhhh, I hate that too, so Fricking Funny!

That diarrhea joke was INSANE,**but that HAS happened to me!

OH, My stomach hurts from laughing!

I want to be that comedian.

I want to be that storyteller.

I want to be the reason people are slapping their knees.


I cannot, in fact I think I am physically incapable, of writing a short story, a short post, a short text, a short comment, a short email, a short note. 
Even when I sign my credit card statement at a store, my hand starts trembling. 
IT JUST WANTS TO WRITE MORE!!!!!!!

 A short note. This is a good example. Sometimes my 13 year old daughter will come out of her room in the morning and ask me to write her a note for p.e., so that she does not have to do the Friday Mile Run. I always happily oblige. Why? My daughter is a go getter. She is a perfectionist at everything. From her outfits, hair and makeup, to her organized room, and schoolwork.My daughter is not a slacker, and she has straight A's, and awards up the you know what.So if she wants to get out of the run, it is for a good reason, which is usually because she stayed up too late studying. How could I deny her a note.

Her idea of a note:

Dear Mr. P.E. Teacher,

Please excuse K from the run today.

Thank you,

J.R.

The note I actually write, because my hands and mind won't STOP:

Dear Mr. P.E. Teacher,

Hello, how is your day? Great! Well, I am writing this note to please ask you to excuse my daughter, K, from running the mile long run today due to the fact that she had stayed up late last night studying for her History Benchmark tests. I am sure you are aware of what a good student she is, so I am sure this will be no problem. But I also wanted to mention, that I do not fully agree that late night studying is a valid excuse for missing your run, that is why I will also tell you that she seems to be fighting off some sort of upper respiratory issues. I can hear it in her breathing. I may even take her to the doctor today. If so I will keep you updated. 

Anyway, thank you so much, and thank you for being a great teacher. She told me that funny story about you explaining to the class how you became a p.e. teacher in the first place. I like telling stories too. 

In case K starts coughing.... *at this point teenage daughter grabs the pen from my hand, rolls her eyes, points to the clock and says "mooomm. I asked for a note! Not a book!God, so embarrassing!"

Sincerely,

J.R.

K's Mom

**Oh my god mom, he knows your'e my mom! Who else would he think it was? You don't have to write that! 

I went to a 6 year old's Birthday Tea Party yesterday. A daughter of a good friend of mine. Half of the people there I am extremely close with. Like BFF kind of close. 

Half of the people there I had never met until that day.

So I cracked a joke during a silent moment when I was sitting in the living room with half of the moms I did not know. I then realized, it may or may not have been considered funny to them. So I nervously laughed, and said "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know if that was funny or inappropriate? I mean, I guess I just met you guys"

The silent milasecond, seemed like a silent 3 hours with crickets chirping. 

But then they all three laughed, and one, spoke up and said:

"Oh, it was completely appropriate!! 

And completely funny!

That was a good one"

*I can't remember her name, but she will now be called 'Cool Mom'

But that moment, that little tiny moment of connection with humor made my day!

"That was a good one"- Has seriously got to be my favorite compliment

Well,

that and 

"WOW! You look smokin hot!!"

-or-

"Oh my god, I cannot believe you are _ _ years old! You look 20!"

-or-

"WOW! You look smokin hot!!" 

*did I mention that one already?

-or-

"You are the greatest human being that has ever walked this earth"

I mean, those are all nice to hear also, but "That was a good one" makes me smile inside.

At work it is hard for me to write a short email.

Example: 

TO: jr@email.com

FROM:professionallady@email.com

Subject:Contract

JR,

I have attached the contract you requested. Please sign, or have your supervisor sign, then email back to me. Fax is fine also, as long as it is done before today at 3 p.m.

Regards,

Professional Lady

My Reply:

TO:professionallady@email.com

FROM:jr@email.com

Subject: Signed Contract

Hello Professional Lady,

Can you believe this weather we are having? Gorgeous day out today! Makes you want to skip the office, and head down to the beach.

Jane Doe has signed the addendum as well as enclosure A. I have scanned the signature pages, and will include that in this email. Funniest thing though! While I was scanning, I was telling my co worker a story, so I was distracted, and had  forgotten to check the scanner for papers left behind from the person who was previously using it. There was a picture of my co workers new baby in there. She is adorable!!! So along with the contract, you will also be getting a picture of a 2 week old baby girl. Just wanted to warn you. I was going to delete that from the PDF file, but figured what the heck, I'd leave it in there. Newborn babies can brighten a day! 

If you have any questions or comments regarding the attachment, or enclosure A, please feel free to call me at the office.But if you call after 2 p.m. I may not be here. I am off early today, due to the fact that my daughter has some upper respiratory issues, and I will be taking her to the doctor. 

But you can feel free to call me on my cell (555)555-5555. Please leave a voicemail if I do not answer, and I will return your call as soon as I can.

Thank you and have a great weekend. Although it is only Thursday, I say Have a Good Weekend on all of my Thursday emails, because I have Fridays off. So have a good Thursday! Also, I am joking about the newborn baby photo. It was scanned, that part was true. But I deleted it from the attachment.If you do want it, I can always email it to you. LOL! :) 

Best Regards,

J.R.

K's Mom

* ooops wrong note

Her Reply

TO: jr@email.com

FROM: professionallady@email.com

Subject: Contract

JR,

Received the attachment. Everything seems to be in order.

Regards,

Professional Lady

* Ugghh, she did not even acknowledge my baby pic joke. Did not mention that I accidentally told her I was K's mom. Did not say anything about the weather, the weekend, or Happy Thursday!

Hmmmm, should I reply to her reply? I could explain myself.

"Don't do it J.R.!!! Don't do it!!!Leave it be!!"

By the way, that is not my inner voice. That is my Co-Worker who also happens to be one of my BFF's. We share an office, and she knows me so well. 

Some of these examples may make me seem a bit obnoxious.
I can assure you, I do have tact, and I do know the appropriate times to let out the obnoxiousness, and when to keep it in.

But my obnoxiousness has actually turned around the most stick up the butt people, and made them smile. So it has to be workin for me on some level.

This "professional lady", after years of emailing back and forth, has her own silly side. 

The other day she started off an email with a :

Bwwwwaaaaa Haaaa Haaaa - evil laugh 

(had to do with an email we both mutually had to deal with)

Then a ;) winky smiley face- took me years to get one of those out of her.

Then she ended it with telling me about her vacation.

So I may not be bringing peace to the world,

Or curing world hunger

but my over explaining story telling has brought out 

the over explaining story telling of another human being.

And that,

 my friends,

brings me joy!

*also obnoxious is one of my favorite words. Literally! I use it a lot. I like the way it sounds. It can have negative meanings, or (sometimes in my case) positive.