Quotes from my household and some Saturday Night Live memories

My 13 year old daughter: "For my 16th Birthday, will you take me to get a tattoo?"

Me: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU JUST SERIOUSLY ASK ME THAT? I am a cool mom, but I am not that cool! ............Well, I am that cool, but not THAT, that cool!! Tattoos don't happen till after 18 years of age, in which you will do it without me knowing,and then not show me right away, just like I did to Mema and Papa!There is a certain order, and it does NOT begin at 16" 


My 13 year old daughter: "Soooo, No?"

In her dreams!
Shit!!
I have always told them to follow their dreams.
I'm screwed!

My 15 year old daughter: "Can I try your wedding dress on? Just for fun? I love your dress!"

Me: "Yeee, YES!! It'll be fun!"

My 15year old daughter: "Yeah, I want to wear your dress one day"

Me: "WOW, that is every mothers dream! You can even wear my earrings, and the diamond necklace"


My 15 year old daughter: "Or, I can just wear this necklace that Jacob gave me.Since I will be marrying him"

Me: "O.K. take the dress off, we are done! This isn't fun anymore!I thought we were playing dress up, you, on the other hand, thought you were planning your wedding to your 16 year old boyfriend! Playtime over, call me when you are 30" 


My 15 year old daughter: "I am going to marry him one day! I love him"

Me: "Yeah I was in love when I was 15. Come over to my laptop, let me sign onto my Facebook, and I will show you a picture of how my 15 year old LOVE turned out!"

My 15 year old daughter: "Ewww!! Yuck!!!"

Me: "Not a pretty sight huh?? That is why you will graduate high school,go to college (or not)  travel, have fun, be single, theeeennnnnn you will fall in love, get married, have kids and settle down! 27 year old you will thank 15 year old you for not marrying Jacob" 

See the necklace?
Should I ship her away to an all girls boarding school?
Better yet, let's just ship Jacob away. Do you think his parents will miss him??

My husband: "Babe, the laundry is getting a bit out of hand. I know you have been working more hours, would you like me to start helping?"

Me thinking to myself: uhhh DUH!!! 

Me: "Yes, M, that'd be awesome."

Husband: "O.K., then I will start helping today. HEY GIRLS!!! Come upstairs,you are going to start folding and putting away the laundry in our room. Help your mom out, O.K.?

There! All taken care of"

Me: "Are you serious?That is how you are going to help me, by making the girls do it? They already have their set chores, and it doesn't include folding your shorts! Gee, thanks!!!!"

Inside out Rapunzel nightgown? Not even mine
Towels? Mostly all my husbands

Me to my now 18 year old ADULT son: "What is that on your arm? It's like a scab, or like a burn or something? What happened?"

18 year old MATURE son: "Oh,it's frostbite!"

Me: "FROSTBITE??? We live by the beach! The sun has been shining all week!How did you get frostbite?" 

18 year old poster child for Maturity: "Well, some friends of mine were talking about the ice cube salt trick, so I tried it! They said it causes a chemical reaction on your skin. They are so stupid! It doesn't cause a chemical reaction, it causes Frostbite!"

Me: "Uhhh, THEY'RE stupid????? Who's the one with frostbite?"

Frostbite, not a Chemical Reaction! DUH!!!!

K, my 5 year old daughter: "Mama, where are we going?"

Me: "To the bank, and to take your sister to spend her gift card at Tilly's"

K: "Can you put your ipod on?"

Me: "Yes"

K: "Can you turn on Lady Gaga?"

Me, mumbling to myself: "I think you are with your big sisters too much"

K: "What did you say Mama?"

Me: "Oh, I said you must hang out with your sisters too much"

K: "No Mama, I hang out with you"

Ki, my 13 year old: "Yeah Mom, she's right. Whose ipod is it anyway? Not Mine! She's drivin around with you all day long, not me."

Me: "Well........Bad Romance is one of my favorites.............Come on girls, sing along!"

*Totally appropriate sing-a-long, right???

Hey Mama, what do you think about me making a dress out of leaves? I could then have a tree branch sticking out from a beehive on my head. Lady GaGa will be the inspiration behind my fashion.
Mama?
You wanna help me collect some leaves?
Mommy?

Tattoos, early marriage dreams, causing bodily harm to oneself with an ice cube, avoidance of helping with laundry,and a 5 year old singing along to Lady Gaga

These are just specks of sand in the never ending stretch of beach that is my family!

They drive me absolutely bonkers, but honest to god, sometimes I sit back and say out loud
"I have really cool kids"

The thirteen year old who talks about tattoos is a straight A student with numerous awards and words of praise from her teachers. She is intrigued by the thought of tattoos right now,but she is young. She is also amazed at how many lip glosses and shades of nail polish there are in the world, and I think she is determined to own every color (wherever does she get that from??) If her intrigue turns into an actual infinity symbol tattooed on her wrist one day, well so be it. At the age of 18 I will neither promote, nor forbid. I will just love and not judge! She will still be my gorgeous, smart as a whip little girl that I call "Sweetie"

My fifteen year old daughter who is 'so in love with her boyfriend' that she talks about marrying him, is the same fifteen year old daughter that is one day going to be crying on my shoulder because they have broken up. And she is the same 15 year old daughter that is one day going to have a beautiful wedding, marrying a man with a beautiful heart, have beautiful children, and live a beautiful life. She will then show her daughter a picture of her boyfriend at 15, and together they can giggle. My daughter is going to make an amazing young woman. She already has!

My 18 year old son actually is one of the most intelligent people I know. He was recognized for his genius brain in pre-school,when at 3 years old he explained magnetic fields, instead of sharing his favorite toy.He then went on to be in G.A.T.E. classes in Elementary school.A genius mind is a curious mind. A curious mind can't help itself sometimes. A curious mind may actually find a cure for cancer. You never know! But that little boy who put a bar of soap in the microwave just to see what happens, or went outside to blow leaves, but wound up attaching the leaf blower to his skateboard to make it 'blow him' down the sidewalk, well that little boy is always going to exist. And it's a good thing too, because he makes me laugh! I will just hide the salt shaker when he is over.

My 5 year old Lady Gaga singing daughter! Those are some of our silliest times. Singing our hearts out in my car. Me trying to flip my rear view mirror down just a tad, so that I can watch her in her booster seat. My little girl has a heart of gold, and the personality of a thousand performers on a stage. When I was young, Saturday Night Live was a family favorite of ours. Should an Elementary school child be up at Midnight on a Saturday Night watching the likes of John Belushi, Dan Akroyd, Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner? I will answer for myself and say "YES" Yes, because those are memories that I will always have.Mental images of my big brother imitating John Belushi's famous One Eyebrow Raise, or myself standing on the bricks of our old fireplace and doing my Gilda Radner Roseanne Roseannadanna impression!

A garage sale purchase from my husband to me. The SNL First Season Boxed set.Another reason I love him. Laundry? Not so great at! Listening to his wife's childhood stories, he shines!!
I never knew that any of these actors were high, or down and out. I just knew that when they were on the t.v.. my family was laughing. We were all together in our family room waiting for the next scene.I didn't always make it through, probably falling asleep next to my mom on the couch.But I tried to keep my eyes open.I can't even say that we watched EVERY SINGLE episode.Memories from childhood sometimes mesh together, and you can have a hard time deciphering a true time line. Whether it was a skit featuring the Coneheads or John Belushi impersonating Joe Cocker, we were all smiles! I'm sure I didn't even understand half the jokes they were saying. I didn't even know who Joe Cocker was, so I thought John Belushi was Joe Cocker.
The words "Live from New York........It's Saturday Night" will always give me a good, warm, safe feeling.
So when my daughter is 30 something years old, maybe she will turn on a radio and hear an oldie by Lady Gaga,smile,and have that same familiar feeling. It is o.k. that the warm feeling she is getting is from a girl who wears meat covered dresses, or hoops around her head. That part doesn't matter, because like the SNL jokes went over my head, Lady Gaga goes over my daughters head. She just knows the words to Bad Romance go like this:

Moma Mo Mama a a
Moma Romamama
Ga Ga O la la a
Chum Chum Romance
I want your pumpkin, I want your ribbons
You and me could find a bag o mance
Wo Oh Oh Oh
Chum Chum Romance!
*She even has me singing "Chum Chum Romance"

A sense of humor, good times with family,and the ability to sometimes not take it all too seriously! 

All of that, mixed with the unconditional love that my parents have always given to me, made me who I am today! And one day, it will make my children who they are.No matter who or what they become, I will love them unconditionally!

I will love them unconditionally, On One Condition...............................