People Suck, and other Funny things!

Sometimes people are mean. I don't understand it. I am mean sometimes, but it makes me feel awful. Like, really, really awful.

But there are some people in this world who almost get off on it. They have no filter on their mouths. No beat in their heart.


In a strange twist of emotions this is how I am starting to feel-
I am pretty much nice to everybody. Overly nice in fact. And that awful feeling I get when I am mean? Well I am starting to get it from being overly nice.

What? 

You ask

Weird!

You say

I ask myself What? also. 

I say 'Weird' also.

I have just had it with always worrying about everybody else's feelings. I don't ever, EVER want anybody to dislike me. And now at almost 40 years old it has left me drained. I was put in tears today. Sobbing, convulsive tears.

I just want to say again - People Suck!  

Oh, and if you are waiting for the 

'Other Funny Things' 

as it says in my title.

`SORRY`

I am sad right now.

Sad and drained from always being nice, when I am realizing that not everybody else is.

Funny J.R. will be back to her regular, hilarious, knee slapping, roaring good, downright amazing writing soon. Ohhhhhhhhh, now you laugh huh?  ;) 

But this girl needs a break, and may have to wind up taking one. Too bad if certain people don't like it. I can't help it.

This picture makes me happy.

I would like to publicly apologize for.............

I have been a bad blogger.
I have been a bad blog reader.
I have been a bad blog comment leaver (yes it makes sense)


Why?

Because summer has been BUSY for me.

But I have not been bad at this:

Daughters 14th Birthday 'ROOM MAKEOVER'
I want to live in her room.

I have also not been bad at this:

Jello Shot Cantaloupes!
Healthy yet, 'FUN'

I have also been pretty good at this:

Sittin on the boat, relaxing, reading 50 Shades!

This has kept me pretty busy also:

Teachin my 15 1/2 year old how to drive.
'Keep Both Hands on the WHEEL!'

Havin a little fun too:

Surprised my older girls with a Demi Lovato concert at our local fair.
Then Fried Foods, Picture Booth Photos and Expensive rides afterwards!

Threw a graduation party for my son, and was busy hiding the booze from his friends:

No, I don't normally keep bottles of Tequila in my room, but when my grandpa comes over to me saying "Hey, that tall, loud one over there was sneakin in your booze" - Well, I had to start hiding! and taking keys away.

Summer also makes time for camping:

Hubby had a fishing tournament during our first scheduled camping trip. So it was Mama and the kids!
Girl Power! Started the fire, even had to put a plastic bag over my hand to unclog the sewer in the camper. Ugghhhhh!

An intertube, and the evening ocean!Entertaining for hours.

Daddy and his little buddy! Doing some night fishing in the surf.

Time for some unwinding with a margarita.

Just registered my youngest for Kindergarten. My older girls for their High School Classes. Working, BBQ'ing with family.
My 20th High School Reunion
School Shopping
Working
Checking on 18 year old son to make sure he is making good future choices - "What do you mean  you are going to hold off on taking some classes at the Junior College? Extending your summer a bit? WHAT?O.K. we will discuss this later! Yes,I love you too"
Getting mad at oldest teen daughter for trying to pull a fast one on us. - "Don't try to fool the masters little dear! Your dad and I were teens once too." 
My fourteen year old suddenly having the attitude of a prima donna! - "Who are  you? Where did you come from?"
My five year old wanting mommy to 'play with me.' every single second. - I am not sure how much more Littlest Pet Shop scenarios I can handle. 


I have been busy with just plain ol' family time. And it has felt good! It has been soothing, relaxing, fun! I love my kids! I love my husband, and right now, I am kinda lovin my life in general.

But school is starting soon, back to the old grind. Carpools, busy days, etc.

I will be back to blogging too, but right now, sunshine, beach, kids, husband and margaritas are taking precedence.

Cheers!

Here's to hoping that everyone has been having an AWESOME summer!

OH MY GOD - I wish I was never born!!!!!!!!!

"Oh my god, WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE ME?"

"You ruined my LIFE!"

"You are soooooooooooo embarrassing!No other parents do that!"

"******'s mom buys her whatever clothes she wants!"

"*****'s parents just took her to Contempo Casuals and bought her a new cropped shirt! Why can't you be like them?"

"What?? WHAT??? You said 'hi' to the boy I like???I'm NEVER going to school again! EVER!!!"

"Drop me off at the corner! The cor.....what?? What are you doing? Why are you pulling up in front of the school? I said the cooooorrrrrnnnnnneeeerrrrrr.............Ugggggghhhhh! So embarrassing!"

"Mom, are you seriously going to pull over and ask that kid if he wants a ride? WHY? He is in my math class, and he is a weirdo? I don't care if it's raining, you are soooo EMBARRASSING!!"

"Why are you waving at them?Soooooo embarassing!"

"On restriction? Are you serious? There is a HUGE party on Friday and everybody is going! I swear I will never roll my eyes or talk back to you again!I promise! I am so sorry......You are the best parents in the world...........Can't I get off restriction on Thursday? What? WHY?......You are the WORST parents in the entire world."         SLAM- "Sorry, I didn't mean to slam the door" - Yeah right, I DID mean to slam it!!!-     "What? Huh, I didn't say anything, I said 'I love you guys'"

"Wait! Dad, you are kidding me right? RIGHT? Did you really paddle your board over to a group of my guy friends out in the water, and ask which one was my boyfriend and then introduce yourself to him? Please tell me you are joking!............Yes it is a big deal..........I am going to kill myself. "  - SLAM- Door slams, "ha ha, let them think I'm in my room actually causing harm to myself".........................."umm, how come they are not checking on me?"..........."Don't they care?".....................UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

"Seriously Mom, when you pick my friends and I up from the mall, do we have to listen to Joan Baez, or Joni Mitchell, or the Neville Brothers, or whatever else you listen to? I am bringing my Kid n Play, or Rob Base cassette tapes!......Fine, compromise with my Pretty in Pink Soundtrack! Your music is so embarrassing, it is probably killing my friends ears."

Parents are certainly the most embarrassing people walking the face of the earth. Just ask any teenager, and you will see that the census sways in the direction of 'Parents just should not exist'

The above quotes?  They are all things that ......................

That.......

That I......

That I have heard from.......

That I have heard from my.....

That I have heard from my own two ears.

That I have heard from my own two ears,

Coming out of ........

Coming out of my OWN TWO LIPS!!!

Yes ladies and gentleman, I am the awful teen that spouted these words of hate and rebellion!

Spouting them vehemently from my own two lips!

What a wretched teen I was!

They were all from me.

Yup, sweet, wonderful daughter, J.R.!

I was a good kid, really not too bad, but gosh I could be a brat. A BIG GIANT BRAT!!!!! I loved my parents, and still do, more than anything in the entire world. But everything, and I mean everything, was embarrassing to me. I guess looking back on it, maybe I struggled with some self esteem issues. Always doubting what was cool, what would be accepted. I wish I could go back in time and give the teenage me a bit more confidence. I was not unpopular, I was not unattractive, I was not anything that could be looked at as negative for a teen.In fact, I was semi popular. Dipping one foot in with the Uber popular kids, and one foot in to the wading pool of semi popular. Not too shabby actually.  I think I was just plain and simply a TEEN! That is it. 

Nowadays, I am pretty sure about myself. I am not really lacking in self confidence, other than the occasional normal stuff. 

These days my parents do not embarrass me, just for the fact that they are breathing.In fact I love and appreciate them so much, that to say they ever embarrassed me nowadays would almost feel sacrilegious, ungrateful, down right awful. When I was a teen, they were not even able to breathe-Good lord, how dare they breathe or exist? Geez! Don't they know I have my teenage life and reputation to uphold. But now I need, love, and admire them so much that they better keep on breathing. Dammit, don't they know they have a daughter to keep on keeping on for?

But what I have actually come to the realization of is this- My parents are actually considered to be 'Cool'! Don't tell them that though, don't need any big heads goin on. They are not, nor were they ever cool in the way of being 'those parents'. You know, the ones that let you drink, stay out all night, cover for you, and help you roll your first joint.When you are young, those are the 'Cool' parents. I would hear rumors of 'Those' parents existing, and think 'Why was I not born to them'?

Or those other kind of 'Cool Parents'- The rich ones! My mom did not take me shopping every weekend like other moms, and I did not have a wardrobe that was to die for thanks to my 'super young fashionable rich' mom. My dad wasn't the kind of 'Daddy' that made me out to be 'Daddy's Princess', buying me a car for my 16th Birthday or lavishing me with gifts,money, and material items. My mom did not wear makeup, or understand my need for getting to the drugstore because I was out of mousse, and that is considered an emergency for a girl with a spiral perm. 

I would not realize until years later, and I would run into people from high school, that my parents were just cool, because........well, just because they were just plain COOL! 

My dad is a wonderful man. Honest, true, kind hearted, dependable, responsible, loving, caring and kind. Not to mention he is a surfer! He has surfed at the same beach since he was a kid, and is definitely a respected local. But most of all, my dad loves me! He never made me feel less than. He never put unrealistic expectations on me. He never made me feel bad, guilty, or awful for mistakes that I made. My dad has always loved me unconditionally.

My mom is a wonderful woman. Nurturer, loving, caring, and kindness beyond belief. Neighborhood kids knew that they could bring baby birds that they found on the ground TO HER!. She would feed it and take care of it. She was probably hipper, cooler, and more with it than I gave her credit for. I also have to say that maybe as a daughter, I was a bit harder to get along with than my brothers. Mothers and daughters just clash by nature. I, of course, am learning that now.My mom (like my dad) loves me one hundred percent UNCONDITIONALLY! And that is alot more than I can say for most parents.

I love my parents more than the sun, moon and stars! They don't embarrass me anymore.

They can't!

They just can't!

I am an adult!

I am secure!

I am confid.......

Confiden........

Confident!........

Oh, wait a minute!!

Oh Shit!!!

Wait, my mom is on Facebook!

My reputation!

DID SHE JUST BECOME FRIENDS WITH MY 7th GRADE BOYFRIEND????

Ohhhhhhh Nooooooooo, She Di'int!

Oh My God!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

Did she just comment on my 7th grade boyfriends picture that he posted 2 years ago (meaning that she has been spending the day 'creeping' on his old albums')

O.M.G.!!!!!

My daughters accuse me all the time of being a 'Facebook Creeper'
Me?
Not me, I am a cool mom!
Geez!

I am a teenager all over again, only I am not a teenager.I am a mature adult who appreciates my parents. Who loves my parents. I am incapable of being embarrassed..........DAMMIT......DAMMIT...

It is hard being older and mature! 

This is what I woke up to.
This is what I logged on to Facebook and saw this morning.

J.R.s Facebook Wall

J.R.'s Mom- Made a comment on 'J.R.s childhood boyfriends photo'

 Comment to a picture my off and on junior high/high school boyfriend posted of himself from Junior High.A YEAR AGO!! MOM, You creepin much??
You just became friends with him 2. 5 hours ago woman! 

WOW! Thanks Mom! Love you too! Facebook is NOT private ya know! Your last name??? Well, it was my last name all through school...........Yup!!! Everyone will know who your 'winky face' is talking about!

Ugghhh

You are a Cool Mom
You are a Cool Mom
Everyone Likes you
Everyone Likes You
Deep Breaths
Deep Breaths

Speed Dial Therapist
Speed Dial Therapist

Fuck , I don't have a Therapist
Xanax
Xanax

Xanax downed with Pear Cider

I don't have Xanax.......Ugghhh, I wish I did!

O.K. Deep Breaths.
Calming down
I'm Calm


You are a cool mom!

I'm sleepy


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

* I called my mom this morning

My dad answered

I started off the conversation saying "Dad, you remember in junior high when you paddled your longboard over to ***** and said "Hi, I'm J.R.'s dad!Just wanted to introduce myself"

"Yes! How could I forget? I 'ruined your life' that day. What about it?

"Well, you need to tell my mother she's killin me! That woman is killin me!"

"What did your mom do?"

"She commented on *****'s photo on Facebook!"

"Oh, well I can't control what she does on Facebook. Here let me hand the phone to her."

I hear laughs, mumbles, and more laughs

They think this is funny??

"Mom?"

"Uh, Oh, what did I do?"

All of a sudden I didn't have the heart.

All of a sudden I did not want to lecture my mom on embarrassing me.

All of a sudden a thought came into the forefront of my brain.

All of the people over the years that have told me,mentioned to me, or confided in me how much they really liked my parents growing up.

Including ***** my junior high boyfriend.

My mom is cool!

She has lived a long life, and most of that life she has had to endure me.

So I can endure her.

Why?

Because I would never want to wake up to a day where I didn't have her to endure,

Or love.

Happy 4th of July Everybody!

"WE MAY BE MAKING LOVE!!!"- and this is how I traumatized my daughters

I am a hot commodity in this house!

Needed by the hubby-
"Babe, where is my hat with the black rim?"
"I don't know, you wore it last"
"But you find everything. You are just good like that"
"Yeah......You are right!.......It is on the top shelf of closet, under your work shirts, half a centimeter away from my jewelry box, facing North East"
"Thanks J.R.!"

Needed by the kids-
"Mom where is the nail polish remover
                               hair shine spray
                               blowdryer
                               construction paper
                               Hershey's syrup
                               my black Vans
                               my grey Converse
                               my black strapless bra
                               dental floss
                               box of tampons we just bought
                               MY BRAIN!!!!!!!

Ahhhhh, Yes! A mom is always needed!

But the thing is, with all of this constant needing, I have a bad case of 'Door Knocking, Kid Needing Anxiety Disorder' 

Symptoms include:

• Refusing to have sex with your husband at spontaneous times, or any time that you know the kids are awake, for fear of them needing you.
• If giving in to having spontaneous sex, or kids are awake kind of sex, you are unable to fully relax, because one eyeball is firmly planted on the bedroom door. 
• Trying to act relaxed, but all the while asking your husband, "are you sure you locked the door?" 
• Hearing a creak in the floorboards, and pushing your husband off of you saying "see, I knew this was a bad idea"
• Yelling to your kids "does anyone need anything out of my room?? I have diarrhea (wink, wink) and I want to be left alone for a while, so NO KNOCKING on my door" - that is how I prep the kids, and hope there will be no knocking! All the while, looking over at hubby whose nose is scrunched up, thinking he was going to get lucky, saying "you are joking right?Do you really have diarrhea right now?" 

My husband and I had a talk one day, because honestly the needing was getting out of hand! 

Anytime we would shut the door, it was cause for an automatic KNOCK! 

"Hey, babe, I need to talk with you about something serious. It is about B and one of her text messages."

"Oh, shut the door, let's talk!"

KNOCK-KNOCK

"Honey, will you shut the door? I want to go over Ki's Santa list with you."

KNOCK-KNOCK

OH MY GOD! SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE ABOUT THIS!

WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT 4 YEAR OLDS!

WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 15 AND 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS (and our 5 year old, but the teens are the worst)

"Girls, Giiiiiirrrrrrllllllssss! Upstairs for a family meeting! Pronto!!!!"

*I love family meetings! Feels so Brady Bunchy!

Eye rolls, annoyance, and huffing and puffing are what we are met with at our door.

"Girls, we asked you to come in here because we want to create a new house rule"

"What? Chores?"

"No, not chores. Although, good idea. More chores would be helpful. I'll get back to that one!"

"Great....Uggh"

"Anyway. The door knocking is getting out of hand!"

"Well, what else are we supposed to do? If we need something!"

"Not to mention, sometimes you don't even knock! You just walk in!"

"Because we know you are already in bed, or sleeping. We come in quietly!"

"If our door is shut! We may be busy.....Busy.....Busy, talking, discussing important stuff, changing, or maybe even having an argument. Leave us alone!"

"But, if we need the nail polish remover, what else are we supposed to do? I mean, you always put it under your sink and............"

-Husband interjects at this point-

"ARE YOU SERIOUS??? YOU WANT TO STAND HERE AND KEEP ARGUING WITH YOUR MOM? NO MORE DISCUSSION! IF THE DOOR IS OPEN, OR CRACKED,FINE, COME IN, WE HAVE AN OPEN DOOR POLICY. 

IF THE DOOR IS SHUT, LEAVE US ALONE!"

"But, I mean what if we..........."

-More arguing, so mom takes back her position in the conversation-

"OH MY GOD!!! Do you want me to spell it out for you? If the door is shut, we might be MAKING LOVE!!!!"

"Oh, God Mom, STOP!!! Don't say that!!!"

"Doing it! Having Sex! Freaky Freaky, Bumpin and Grindin!..........."

"STOP MOM!"

"We are married! We have sex! How do you think you all were made? How do you think I was made? Mema and Papa had sex"

"OH GOD, Not Mema and Papa! GOD PLEASE STOP!!!"

"Well, you two wanted to keep arguing! You deserve it!"

"We are leaving! I am never knocking on your door again"

"Me either, I am always afraid I am going to interrupt you or hear something gross. That is why I cough, and walk real loud when I get near your door"

"Well, if you think that, then leave us alone"

"I can't believe you guys do it when we are home! I thought you only did it when we were gone"- this was the comment of all comments, as there is always, at some point, atleast one kid home. So my daughter thinks we NEVER DO IT!

My husband was a little shocked that I just blurted it out, but I couldn't stand it anymore. His way just wasn't working. He believes that children deserve NO explanation. And while he is right, I live in the real world. I also live with these girls, and know their ways of thinking. They are arguers by nature. They need explanations. His explanation of "Well, we may be busy talking, so leave us alone" just wasn't working. 

The looks on their faces, and the trauma protruding from their core was actually getting to be quite satisfying. This was kinda fun.So I figured I'd give it one last hurrah as they gagged, and puked their way out of my room.

"Oh, and girls one more thing, just to make sure you have really soaked all of this in"

"Oh, god, what?!?!?!"

"Would you really want to walk in on us and have to see my feet up in the air, and your dads white  butt? Or better yet, me in a position that can only be described as ........

"OH GOD!!!!! I'M GONNA PUKE! YOU ARE AWFUL! STOP TALKING"

Honest to god, I feel so liberated! I feel free! It needed to be done, because it was getting out of hand. Especially in the summer time, as waiting for them to go to bed was not working. In the summer they stay up all night, we wind up falling asleep just waiting for them to go to bed. I may have scarred them for life with visions of mom and dad studying Kama Sutra, but hey, IT WORKED!

It Freaking Worked!!!!!!! 

My Little Motley Crew of Children.....Don't you know that I know what you are doing?

This post is just going to be a list of things my kids do, that they think I don't notice,won't notice, don't understand, won't find out, or will just plain go over my head.

Maybe some of it does, but most of it doesn't.

Even if I am the only one who reads this post, I will atleast have record of it, so that when my kids are parents complaining about their teens sneaky ways, I can bust this out.

BAM!
IN YOUR FACE!

Look at all of the stuff you guys pulled!!!!

Now stop complaining!

PAYBACK IS A MOTHA !!!..

• When the time restrictions we have set on your cell phone cause it to turn off at 10 p.m. on school nights, DON'T for one second think that I can't hear you tip toeing downstairs to grab the house phone to continue your phone conversation with your boyfriend. BED AT TEN means BED AT TEN! I hear you! I know what you are doing! Now you wonder why the house phone is hidden??? Love you too honey ;)
• Those Brazilian Cut Bikini Bottoms I found hidden under a towel in your bathroom? They are about a centimeter away from being considered THONG bottoms! When I asked you where you got them, you gave me your best friends name. Really?! Your B.F.F.!! Couldn't think of a random friend? A friend that we don't think of as a daughter.A friend we don't care about? Can't you make up a name? Get with it girl!! And when I tell you to give them back to the B.F.F. (who must think highly of her bootie), and that they are never to grace your bottom again, don't try to STILL KEEP THEM!! Don't sneak and wear them anyway. We grew up in this beach town. Your grandfather is a surfer! We have spies up and down the coast!  I feel a one piece swimsuit punishment coming up........I have a cute one piece from Old Navy that I wore right after my pregnancy.YUP! That'll do just fine. 
• When it is your dish night, don't purposely "forget" to start the dishwasher, so that you won't have to put them away before bed. I know what you did! I will just make you do them the next day, not your sister!
• Don't try to trick me into thinking I forgot to give you allowance, just because you overheard me telling your dad that I have been really forgetful lately. Eavesdropping is RUDE! Tricking aging mothers?? Just plain AWFUL! What is my name again??
• Don't ask me if you can go stay the night at a friends house on a school night because 'you have to get your school project done'. I just checked the school website, and partners were not assigned for that report! I know it is just because Kaley has new makeup, and super cute clothes that you want to borrow! 
• Son, don't tell me that pack of cigarettes on the dashboard of your car are "my friends, I swear mom" Every time you come home, I pretend to take the trash out, but really I spend about 10 minutes peering through the windows of your car scanning the seats and floorboards for illegal substances,empty beer cans, condom wrappers, and cigarettes! You are 18, yes! But you are still my baby! Make good choices. They belong to a friend MY ASS!
• Don't tell me that the parents are going to be at this end of the year party. The party you just informed me about. The party that is taking place at your "Super Cool" new friends house; which,by the way, shouldn't I have heard of this 'good friend'? New friends scare me!  A 23 year old, older brother is not parental supervision. What? What's that? How did I know about that? Well, I keep telling you nothing is private when you put it on Facebook! 
• And you, my little five year old. I know you have teen siblings, but don't use them as an excuse for everything. 'B made me laugh mama, and that is why I can't clean my room!' Ummm, what? That doesn't even get an 'A' for effort. That gets an 'F' for Fricking Ridiculous! That excuse is just plain sad. Weeping into my pillow sad! Learn better from your older siblings little girl. Take better notes on the art of lying, teenage trickery, and fooling your parents. But then after you take all of those notes..

THROW THEM IN THE TRASH!

They won't work!


WHY?

I was a teen also.

Times were different, but the drive for independence  is still the same!

You will test me,

and I will choose my battles.

Certain times I will let you learn your own lesson, but,

other times I will  bug you, nag you, lock you in your room if needed. 

Because I have been there, and when it comes down to it I want you to have fun!

I want you to have stories to tell!

I don't want to make this home a jail!

But I will protect your innocence and childhood for as long as I can.

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!

I love you so much that I may surprise you with that iphone you have been begging for.

WHY?

Because you are such a good kid!

Because I am such an awesome mom!

OH GOD, just kidding!
You are not that great of a kid, and I am not that awesome (well, I am a bit of an awesome mom..)

NOPE!

SORRY KID!

Because you will be driving soon. And with a smart phone we can install GPS, Parent/Child tracker, and that app I heard about that stops your phone from texting when your car is in motion.

But you can think it is just because I am an awesome mom! 

Yes, times sure are different!

The only thing to distract me when driving was deciding
which cassette tape to listen to.

Now do the dishes, grab me the scissors so I can cut up those bikini bottoms, let your super cool friend know that you will not be making the party, tell your boyfriend to start calling you earlier in the night (bedtime is at 10 for goodness sake), DO NOT smoke cigarettes, drink beer, do drugs,or have sex.
And you, my five year old! Please just pick up your Barbies and Littlest Pet Shops! Please, for the last time! PLEASE!! Oh, and don't think I won't look under your bed. That is not where your toys go!

I was a kid once too ;)

Happy Mothers Day!You know drive thrus are your second home when........

I love Healthy Food, my mom being a little ahead of her time in the health food department. Now Health food stores are on every corner. It is 'in' to be healthy, organic, buy your peanut butter from a store that makes it right there.
But......When I was young, we had to drive about a half hour to another town south of us to a little health food store, where my mom could torture supply our household with

Buckwheat Pancakes

Homemade Peanut Butter. No salt, no taste, just a 2 inch layer of oily stuff on top.

Bread with nuts, seeds, and other chokable food particles baked in.Wonder Bread was a sin!

Lentils, for whatever kind of concoction she could put lentils into,

Apple juice in a HUGE gigantic jar, and you had to shake it real well before serving, get all the mushy, chunky stuff that had sunk to the bottom mixed in properly.

BUT.......


I also LOVE fast food!


I just love it!

Fast food was not totally forbidden. Just not always allowed. I remember when we would actually get to visit the golden arches. Sweet Heaven! I would be in the backseat, my parents in the front. I would always ask for a cheeseburger, fries and a cok........ then I would get interrupted.

"We have apple juice at home. You don't need a Coke!"

DEFEAT!

MISERY!

I am not completely 'happy' now!
Only 75% of the Happy Meal was allowed!

Not happy to the fullest!

Once I was old enough to drive, or had my own money, you could not keep me away.

I now 'treat' my kids to fast food a little more than my mom did for me. But I will say, that she sure made up for it with other treats. Every once in a while, my mom would let me stay home from school............. just because. Much to the dismay of my dad. Sorry Dad. She would look out the window, sensing it was going to be a dreary day, and say 'why don't you stay home today? We could get out of the house, go for a drive. Snuggle!Whatever the day brings' 
You don't have to ask me twice!

I thank you mom! I thank you for your love,

your guidance,

your support,

your ability to always show patience, even when you were frustrated.

I love you despite the fact that you made a Anchovy Casserole one of the first times that my new, cool, popular best friend stayed the night. 

I love you despite the fact that you did not let me live off of cheeseburgers and soda.

I love you even though you did not understand that Guess and Esprit clothing would make me a happier teen.

I love you despite the fact that you did not let me buy the Madonna Like a Virgin cassette, and when Aunt J tried to buy it for me, you made her return it.

I love you despite the fact that I was the last of my friends to wear a bikini.

I love you despite the fact you would show up at my friends houses to bring me back home, because you changed your mind 'you cannot stay the night, I just have a weird feeling about what you girls are up to' 

Mostly Mom, I love you because you made me who I am today! 

I love you because you showed me more love and support than anyone on the face of this universe.

I love you Mom, because thanks to you I get complimented on my loving nature, my kindness towards others, and my ability to be a good mom.

Mom, you are a great mom!

I love you for you!

My kids love you because, due to the fact that I was traumatized in not being allowed to eat a ton of junk food, I am now trying to make it up to them in some twisted, weird, therapy needing, junk food desiring, post traumatic stress, french fry over spoiling lifestyle!! 

Thanks Mema!

Thanks Mema for not letting our Mama eat from those golden arches. It gave mom weird fast food issues, and she now spoils us with it.

You are the best Mema in the whole entire world!

Below is a Lincoln Log structure that Ki (my five year old) made the other day. She said it was a fast food restaurant. 

"Just like we do Mama"

"Hi J.R. Haven't seen you since yesterday. The usual? Say Hi to the kids for me"

* I do cook healthy for the record!Limiting the fast food intake, but sometimes, you just gotta do it! Sometimes, you just gotta give in. Sometimes you just need to slurp on that soda, and eat those greasy fries.

If you are a mother, have a mother, or know a mother! Happy Mothers Day.

As women, we are all Mother's. Whether we have actually had children or not. We have all 'mothered' somebody, somewhere, somehow! It is in our nature I think! So have a great day today!

Eat some fries, drink some Coke, and relax!

Happy Female Day! 

A Broken Hand is NO GOOD FOR A BLOGGER!!

You cannot type with a broken hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, I can only imagine how hard it would be to type with a broken hand..............

I mean.......

Oh, do you think I am talking about myself? Do you think that is where I have been?

Sorry to mislead you.

I didn't break my hand!

I was just saying, wondering

Thinking out loud!

Got your attention though!

Where have I been?

No good excuses, really..... I wish I had some terrific, funny, outrageous story. But, sadly, I don't.

Here is a quick re-cap of my last few weeks, in pictures!

I will be back with a vengeance! I have so many blogs in my head, that the fire department is getting ready to be called due to my brain reaching it's maximum occupancy limit. There is an unsafe number of words piling into this little head! It is against the city ordinance! Some of these thoughts are going to have to leave, or there could be a riot! No one wants a riot coming out of this mind! Believe me!

First of all WORK. VERY BUSY right now.

No, I don't work for a chicken tender/corn dog taste testing company. Geez!
I just really wanted junk this day!
That little dish with the fork sticking out? Those are green beans to go with my corn dog and chicken tenders.
See? Healthy, Right?

Second of all......Family Stuff! Broken hearted daughter, Easter, just stuff!

When your daughter comes home with a broken heart because some little nimrod stomped on it, well you make her homemade Frappuccino's, and Ruffles chips for dinner.
And you just listen
And you share your heartbreaks
And then you get a bad stomachache, because Ruffles and Frappuccino's don't agree with you.
Then you listen, hug, and listen some more.

Our counter top on Easter! No joke, this was exactly sitting like this when I walked through. Had to take a picture.
It's like the circle of life, but in drink form.
All that was missing was an Ensure at the end!

Third of all.......... More life stuff. 

A.K.A. Spring Cleaning!

This hamper?
It was full and overflowing.
The laundry fairy was taking a break.
Well, she came and visited.

No matter what...
Even if my life depended on it....
I can never keep a clean purse!
But I did clean it one day, because my daughters begged me to.
They are sick of standing in stores with me while I dig through it for something.

Lastly...........Just spending time with my family. Fun stuff, boring stuff, but still time with them.

'Caviar Nails'
My daughter got the idea off of Pinterest.
I have been doing this to both daughters non stop, as the beads only seem to last a day,
then they want me to do it again.

Easter Present from my son.He has been disappointing me a bit lately in the  'responsible young man' department, but when he walked in on Easter morning with this...
Let's just say 'TEARS'
The original old school Game Boy with Tetris.He knows I have been wanting one, just like the one I had in High School
Just like the one I played during my whole entire pregnancy with him.
They are either hard to come by, too expensive, or broken
He found a working one, with games, at a thrift store. Used his own money, and thought of me.
I had to hold off on the responsibility, 'what are you gonna do after you graduate' lecture for the weekend!

Ahhhhh, Yes!!!
 Our new passion!
Our new addiction!
KARAOKE!!!!!
It was supposed to be for our five year old daughter who starts singing lessons on Monday.
My family bought it for her.
She has been able to use it twice!
Why?
Because hubby and I need to brush up on our rendition of
Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne
"If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain unchanged....."
This picture was taken the SECOND I walked in from work. Hubby had been practicing, and told me to put my bag down, and get over there.
He had thought of our perfect duet.............
"Uhhhh, Can I go pee first?"
"NOPE! Get over here and sing with me!"
"What song?"
"Close my eyes forever"
"OHHHH, I always loved that song. Peeing can wait!"

And the rest is Karaoke History........
We are already planning our Summertime Karaoke Bash!