Saturday, January 12, 2013

I would like to thank my husband for sucking the life out of me one day at a time over the past month and a half

My husband had decided a few weeks ago to make some healthy changes in his life. In all honesty a trip to the doctor for a check up will do that to you. I was proud of him for coming home and stating to all that will listen that he was going to, quote, "Make some changes concerning some of my unhealthy habits"

Good for him!

Woo Hoo!

Way to go honey!

I'm proud of you!

No more midnight snacks? WOW babe, you are great!

Cutting back on carbs? You Rock!!!

Evening walks along with hoppin on the exercise bike? You are amazing me with every step.

De -Caff Coffee? You are the bomb!!!

Did you say you want to switch to 
De-Caff, and it'd be easier if we both did so that we don't have to make two pots, blah, blah, blah and it would do me some good also, and other bullshit? 

You are NOT great!
You do NOT rock!
Amazing me my ass!
You are NOT the bomb!
Actually you are a bomb. The bomb that blew up my happiness. The bomb that destroyed the center of my universe.
The bomb that singlehandedly took away every fiber of the neuron cells that produced my energy.

Want to see what I look like folks?

Hope you are happy honey bunny, pookie schnookie, pumpkin pie, apple of my eye. 
You said I'd 'get used to it!' 
You said 'It'll be good for you too'.
You said.......You said.........Uhhhhhhh, OH GOD, the lack of caffeine is causing memory loss. Somebody help me!


  1. Oh no!!!! Don't take the coffee away!

  2. How about half and half? You can't be expected to go cold turkey. Doesn't he know you might hurt someone?

  3. Oh no.. I feel so bad for you.. My lit'l sis is doing the same thing! She's been a week without ANY coffee and it's killing her buuutttt, she's still doing it only her husband is NOT and he drinks coffee all day long.. Poor you. I'm curious to see how you do.. That pic doesn't look like do coffee is good for you. :(

  4. Oh dear, my condolences on the loss of your legally addictive stimulants.

  5. Oh no! Do you want me to come over and kick him in the shin? Because you probably don't have the energy to kick him yourself...

  6. Don't worry J.R. When the cops come bursting into your house, to find you standing over the prone body of your hubby and empty coffee pot in hand, tell them that he made you switch to decaff. They'll never prosecute. :)

    1. I think there was a Law & Order episode about such a thing. And if not, they will make on after my case. ;)

  7. Love this post and can relate. Several years ago my ex louse decided he was going to get fit, it lasted until he passed out and hit his head on the door from lack of carbohydrates. He decided being fit was going to kill him and gave up.
    Can you hide the addictive stimulants, that's what I did. LOL

  8. Thanks Ladies!
    I figure I will just start visiting Starbucks more often, maybe even grab myself a 5 dollar muffin while I'm there. When he notices our bank account decreasing because all of our money is going towards caffeinated coffee shops, maybe he will switch back.
    Unless........and don't anyone dare tell the hubby........he could be right. Maybe it would do me some good to stay with the switch. Did I just type those words out? "HE COULD BE RIGHT" See, another side effect of no caffeine....thinking the husband is right.

  9. I will be happy to provide a list of links and studies that actully prove caffeine has medicinal qualities and is practically a vegetable.

    (we needn't tell him how I actually wrote all those studies).

    De-Caf is for pussies. You can tell him I said taht.

  10. Oh, I feel your pain. I gave up caffeine once on my own (no one forced me) and I had headaches every day at 8am and 3pm (my normal coffee times). This lasted for a solid week so I had to go back to coffee.

    Sorry, Folgers Decaf. :(


  11. Totally grounds for divorce, dude (no pun intended). Since you probably still like your husband even though he has given up caffeine, that stuff Marianne said about coffee practically being a vegetable is true. Well, sort of. The studies do say that 1-3 cups per day can help reduce your chances of getting Parkinson's disease. Maybe you could buy him a second coffee maker for Valentine's Day? Or make him feel really guilty about increasing your risk to Parkinson's by denying you the good stuff.


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