I am never going to lose the five pounds that has come to visit like an unwanted house guest, and is refusing to leave.
Five pounds you laugh!
I know what you are thinking.
Waaaaa, Waaaaa! Complaining over five pounds! But it isn't just five little pounds spread evenly throughout.
The five (o.k. maybe 8) pound guest has decided to settle in my mid stomach area, where my herniated belly button is already residing. Thanks a lot miracles of life that grew in my stomach. There is not enough room for the both of you.One of you has to go, and since the saggy belly button replacement surgery costs over ten grand, and I have kids to send to college soon,hopefully,It looks like Henrietta the Hernia is staying and Frannie Five Pounds has got to pack her bags and hit the road. Or is it Annabelle Eight Pounds, depending on what time of day I step on the scale? Whatever her F*ing name is, she has got to get the hell out of my mid-section!!
Five pounds you laugh!
I know what you are thinking.
Waaaaa, Waaaaa! Complaining over five pounds! But it isn't just five little pounds spread evenly throughout.
The five (o.k. maybe 8) pound guest has decided to settle in my mid stomach area, where my herniated belly button is already residing. Thanks a lot miracles of life that grew in my stomach. There is not enough room for the both of you.One of you has to go, and since the saggy belly button replacement surgery costs over ten grand, and I have kids to send to college soon,hopefully,It looks like Henrietta the Hernia is staying and Frannie Five Pounds has got to pack her bags and hit the road. Or is it Annabelle Eight Pounds, depending on what time of day I step on the scale? Whatever her F*ing name is, she has got to get the hell out of my mid-section!!
BUT IT IS HARD!!
I try!
I really, really try!!!
I will do good for a couple of days .....hours, .....minutes, but when I walk down the cereal isle, fully intending on grabbing Kashi, or whatever flavorless cereal healthy people eat, and this is in front of my face ........
~and on sale~
Well.......what do you expect me to do?
Be strong?
Being strong is hard, and this cereal is so FREAKING GOOD!!!
Wchhhhheelll, cchhhhh, hggmmmmmmm, Anyway, chhhhhhckkkmmmmm
Sorry, I can't talk type with my mouth full.
I'm finishing my midnight snack, and going to bed.
Tomorrow is a new healthy day!
Reeses pieces are made by Lucifer, in order to trick me into eating my whole body weight, of the stuff. Thank the good lord, that we don't have Reeses Puffs over here. :)
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhhh Reeses Pieces!! YUM!! Have you ever put them in the microwave for 10-15 seconds?? The shell stays crispy and intact, while the peanut butter melts inside. Yeah, I have a lot of snack free time on my hands.
DeleteFrannie Five Pounds sister is sittin on my ass...I feel your pain, friend. I can't talk either...my mouth is full of Frosted Flakes. They're gggggreat!
ReplyDeleteI got slammed on complaining about my five, but it really makes a huge difference on me. I can't even blame my kids anymore. ;(
Frosted Flakes, another yum!
DeleteWhat? We can't blame the kids? It's so much easier that way ;)
I tried that one, but thought it tasted waxy (no temptation whatsoever). One less thing, right?
ReplyDeleteCount Chocula is another story....
(p.s. you disappeared from my blog roll but I think you're back? Weird. You know I'd never leave you).
Count Chocula, another great one.
ReplyDeleteI've had a couple blogs somehow disappear and come back. Thanks for the affirmation, cuz you're one of my faves :) (no pressure or anything, lol)
I'm relieved you won't be added to my list of people I'm legally required to remain 50 feet from at all times. It's hard to be a stalker sometimes....
Delete