Monday, February 4, 2013

Why did I give my daughter a baseball bat to bang on the floor? WHY?? I need a baseball bat to hit myself over the head.

Summary of my past few weeks

  • Teen daughters dance show, took up a bit of my time. Preparing props and all.
  • WAIT!!! Let me rewind....the flu has been in my house off and on since Christmas.
  • Doctors appointments
  • My Birthday last Friday! Cause for celebration? YES! Cause for stress? Well...errr, HELL YEAH! When you show up at Beni Hana with your party of six (you, hubby and your four kids) and expect it to be a fun night, and then your six year old tugs your sleeve right when Chef Cesar (Cesar is a Japanese name?) begins his culinary show, and she has her hands over her mouth saying "Mommy, the smell makes me want to throw up" and suddenly you notice her cheeks are as red as a Crayola Crayon, and her forehead is burning up, and how in the hell did your daughter develop the flu on the 13 minute car ride from your house to the restaurant, and please dear god do NOT let her puke all over the Beni Hana grill, and WHY IS THIS HAPPENING ON MY BIRTHDAY??? Well, HELL F*CKING YES YOUR BIRTHDAY TURNS TO STRESS! That is o.k., there is always next year. I am also going to write a post about my Birthday Celebration, pre-puking!
  • Six Year old daughter has flu!
  • Fourteen year old daughter wakes up this morning with 'the worst sore throat ever' and a fever that may even make the devil himself die from heat stroke. 
  • I work from home on Mondays. Six year old daughter is upstairs. Fourteen year old daughter is downstairs. Home office is in the back of the house where you can't hear either one of them. Fourteen year old daughter has taken to texting me when she is need of medicine, tea, or just to let me know again, that her throat hurts like she has swallowed needles. Six year old is throwing up off and on (mostly feels like ON) coughing, and clutching her stomach in pain. She does not want me 'to go downstairs mommy...ever!' But mommy has to go downstairs, so she came up with what she thought was a good idea. 

'Just bang the bat on the floor honey. I will hear it when I am downstairs.'
I have never regretted a sentence more than I regret that one.

Please! Please don't make me walk up and down anymore. 

If you are wondering why I don't just have both daughters up in my bed. Or both daughters all snuggled downstairs on the couch.
Don't'cha think I had thought of that?
Both daughters are pretty lethargic and really just want to stay put. Neither wanted to go out on the couch. Which shows how sick they are. Usually the couch is 'fun'. Nope, not today.

Wait! Be my phone buzzing? Oh, yes it's a text from my daughter. She wants me to shut her window. Her fever has broke, and now she is freezing.

Enter the dungeon of a fourteen year old sickie! 

Wait....Be quiet again!! Shhh, what is that pounding noise? Oh, the baseball bat.

"I will be right there honey. I'm downstairs shutting your sisters window and making her some tea."

"O.K. Honey, you can really stop pounding the floor now. Give mommy two more seconds. I'm runnin upstairs now."

"Mommy is here honey. What did you need?"

"My tummy hurts."

"You wanted me to run upstairs so you could tell me that again?"
Deep Breaths. Deep Breaths. 

*I am now waiting for the hubby to get home from work so we can take the girls to Urgent Care (as their doctor was leaving early today) 
Since I am sure they will want to hydrate my six year old with an i.v., the hubby is definitely going, as i will need his help for that. 
Do you think the urgent care will allow baseball bats. I mean if I am going to be hopping between the two daughters rooms, she may need it. 

Or I may need it to knock my own lights out.


Oh, by the way, J.R. did not write this post. The tired zombie that has taken over J.R.'s body wrote this. The real J.R. is running up and down the stairs.


  1. Maybe get that duct tape again??? LOL!!!

    1. I think I just need to hide the bat. Tomorrow we are going to all snuggle on the couch and rent a movie. The couch that is in the living room closest to the kitchen & office. We will all be in one another's range.

  2. Oh no! Happy belated birthday...but it sounds like you might need a do over! I hope your daughter is feeling better - glad the fever broke. They run us ragged when they're sick, don't they? I once gave my son a little bell to ring when he needed me and I was ready to throw that damn thing out the window! Hey - we're fellow Aquarians! My bday is coming up on Sunday. I'll be blah blah blah.

    Hey - I started a blog hop. Come on over and link up if you'd like! It's every Monday and it's open all week. And i hope your week improves. xx

    1. Definite Do-Over. I think that is how I am going to play my cards when I talk to my husband about going to Palm Springs this summer with my older daughters. "My Birthday Do-Over Honey, Remember?"

      Yes, I am an Aquarius!! You too, Awesome. Happy Pre-Birthday to you.

      Blog Hop- I have actually never blog hopped, and I just did my first guest post. I will definitely check it out.
      In between caring for the babies (o.k.not 6 and 14, but still my babies)

    2. * o.k. 6 and 14

      Don't know why I added the word 'not' in that last sentence. I am goin loopy.

  3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good move with the baseball bat mom. Hahahahahahaha! Omg, that's FUNNY!!! - On a serious note, I hope your girls are feeling MUCH better and I hope all of you get the much needed rest you need and deserve. Hugs from Michigan no baseball bats.. Hahahaha.. Poor you. ;)

    1. Hugs Back- Thanks Mimi!
      Woke up this morning to NO COFFEE.Not that it totally matters, since the whole decaf thing my husband got me on. I jumped in my car before my husband had to leave and bought 2 large CAFFEINE FUELED coffees, extra shots. Gonna need all the caffeine I can get today.

  4. Happy Belated Birthday!
    Aside from the puking, there's a slight glee felt, whenever Spawn is ill. Because he's in bed most of the time, the house stays tidy, there's food left in the fridge and cupboards and I get to watch what I want on TV.

    My friend has 4 kids sown with the flu at the moment and is now threatening to jump out the window. Hope your babies feel much better soon and that you get some rest, though 'rest' and 'mother' are not two words that you often find in the same sentence. :)

    1. Thank you Lily!
      I know what you mean about the tiny bit of peace that can happen when the kiddos are lethargic. Also being needed is a bit nice. Being needed without stairs is nicer. ;)

      You are right. Rest and mother never go together. Probably not even when they are moved out of the house. I will always 'wonder' and 'worry'

  5. Oh no! I hope that everyone feels better soon. I laughed out loud at the title of your post, and then felt a bit guilty afterwards. Sounds like it's been a really crappy few weeks.

  6. Er...happy late birthday....uh...hope it

    Wow. Your week sucked. Bigtime.

    Please don't plan on stopping by anytime soon with any latent germs. Let's shoot for June, shall we?


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