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Monday, March 26, 2012

Who ate my last avocado? DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!


I LOVE AVOCADO's !!!!
If we make any sort of Mexican food, whether it is bean and cheese burritos, carne asada, pollo asada, enchiladas, quesadillas, nachos, anything at all, I must have avocado!! 
It is not complete without avocado or guacamole.

Avocados are expensive! 
(believe me, I have to hear about it from my husband) 
Sometimes they are on sale.
YAY!!!
Sometimes they are $2.59.... EACH!
BLEH!!

But if we are having anything to eat where an avocado would fit in, I cannot eat without having an avocado.

Scene from Saturday afternoon

Husband
"Hey babe, I'm gonna stop off at Primo Market and pick up some Pollo and Carne to BBQ tonight. Do we need anything besides tortillas and cheese?"

Me
"Umm, let me check. O.K. we have sour cream, we have all the stuff to make Pico de Gallo. Oh, let me check the basket.......O.K., yes I have an avocado. We are all set"

Husband 
"O.K. See you in a few"

M comes home from the store, does some stuff around the yard. I diddle daddle around the house, putting laundry away, finishing up a book, cleaning out my purse. Lazy Saturday stuff. 
My daughters have been pretty self contained all day as well. Making their own lunch, planning their evening, which mostly consists of a bonfire at the beach with friends.

I am relaxing in my room, hubby is getting ready to start the BBQ, figuring we would have an early dinner. 

All is good

Until............

The attack of the teen daughters......

"Hey mom, can we make a face mask out of kitchen stuff?"

"Like what kitchen stuff?"

"I don't know, egg, mayonnaise, olive oil. I don't know. We are just bored, and want to do something."

"Well, I am dropping you off at the bonfire tonight"

"I know, but that's not til later"

"Whatever, fine, I'm almost at the end of my book, and it is sad....leave me alone for like two minutes.... do whatever!"

"o.k." 
in unison, and they run downstairs


15 minutes later
a knock on my door

K, my 13 year old
Standing at my door with a bowl in her hand.
"Mom, can you help me put this on my face? I already put it on B's face, but if you stand up it drips down, so now she can't get up to help me put it on my face."

Me
"What? Put what on your face?"

K
"The face mask. We asked you! Remember? You never pay attention when you are blogging or reading, or whatever it is you do"

Me
"Oh, yeah! The egg mask! Go wait for me in B's room, I'll be there in a minute"

What happens next can only be described as a horrendous display of disrespect. Exhibited by my awful, horrible, no good teen daughters.
They committed the ultimate crime! Their actions almost sent me over the edge. The kind of edge where CPS needs to be called out. Because I am sure that is what the neighbors would have done, had  my windows been open, and they heard the screams of anger coming from my now raw and red throat.

"WHAT?
WHY IS HER FACE GREEN?
WHAT IS THAT IN THE BOWL?
DID YOU......
YOU DIDN'T......
YOU COULDN'T HAVE.......
YOU KNOW BETTER......

DID YOU USE MY LAST AVOCADO????"

"Uhh, yeah mom! For the face mask! It's to help make our skin soft."

"You are fifteen and thirteen years old. You are practically babies. Practically Babies, with practically baby soft skin"

"But we asked you....Remember? See, you never pay attention!"

"I am a mom, with wrinkles growing by the minute! If anyone needs an avocado, it's me. And I need it in my stomach! 
NOT ON YOUR FACE!
And I do pay attention!!"
*Sometimes*

"Sorry mom..............but can you still help put it on my face??"

AHA!! I have an idea!

"Yes, Yes my little darlings! I will. Lay down.
Ahh, does that feel too cold? 
Sorry my little princesses.
There. There you go. All spread. Cheers to your baby soft skin."

Mwaaaahhuuuhaaaa Mwaaaa Haaaa Haaa
Evil laugh as I grab my camera.


And this my friends is what happens when you make guacamole with my last avocado..
and proceed to spread it on YOUR FACE!!!
I take pictures






*This post is dedicated to my teenage girls. Love you both, and your beautiful, smooth, soft, satiny skin.
Mama loves you!
And I do pay attention
Most of the time ;)





9 comments:

  1. WHAT?? If their skins got any softer, their features would slide right off!

    Mind you, I remember doing the same thing at their age, yet years later, I look like my gran...she's 82!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously huh?! Do they need nicer skin??

      I thought the same thing, memories of doing all that stuff when I was young. Sometimes that makes it hard to get mad at them for stuff, because I remember my teen years.

      Delete
    2. Egg white...don't tell them about egg white...

      Delete
  2. Thank goodness I had boys! They might have lost an arm had they used my last avocado.
    Pretty girls. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who needs expensive facial cleansers and moisturizers?? Not when you can use Mom's expensive avo's.

      Boys may not use kitchen ingredients for their skin. But my son just made homemade bombs, or things that fizzed, melted, or gurgled!
      What you can do with baking soda.........

      Delete
  3. Hahaha good pay back and thank goodness! - when I saw the picture in my reader I was a little worried they were corpses and this was a post about some rare skin disease.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No corpses here. They would have to make me SUPER mad for me to turn them into corpses.

      and yes, the picture was great payback. My dad spilled the beans and told my daughters "hey, I saw your mom put a picture of you on her blog"

      daughters- "what picture Papa?"

      Dad-"The one with avocado on your face"

      daughters- "MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

      Dad-"oops, did you not know your mom did that?"

      Thanks Dad......... ;) You are officially banned from my blog.....KIDDING!!

      Delete
  4. And *this* is why I love your blog and you have an award waiting for you over at mine! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AHHHH, Thank you Mimi!!! I responded on your post.

      You are AWESOME!

      Delete

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