There is always room for humor in our day to day lives. Sometimes even your worst day can sound humorous when told days later as a 'story'. In this blog, I will re-tell the 'stories' of my day. With four kids, a husband, a cat, a part time job in an office, and a full time job as a Mama, believe me, I will have stories to tell. So if you are interested, read on. You may find you are chuckling a bit, relating alot, and if nothing else, you may be slightly entertained.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Farts, Farting, Fart!! What is a conversation without mentioning the 'F' word!
Farting and Pooping. Totally natural. Everybody does it.
In my house?
Not only is it natural, not only does everybody do it. EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT IT!! ALOT!
On any given morning, as my teen daughters are so perfectly applying their makeup, straightening their hair, and borrowing one another's clothes to create the most fashionable of outfits, the fart talk is running rampant.
"Can I borrow your black skirt? The one with the ......EWWW You just farted!"
"Yeah, the skirt is in my bottom drawer."
"Whh drarew" - which drawer in face cover talk.
"The bottom drawer!! And don't act all disgusted. You stunk up the bathroom BAD yesterday!"
These are GIRLS people! SO all of you with BOYS, don't think it doesn't happen to the Girl only households.
And by looking at my daughters, you would never know it. Meticulous with their beauty, Popular, even featured on the fashion pages of their yearbook!
Farts do not discriminate!!
I think I may start a weekly post, dedicated to the fart and poop talk that goes on in my house. Like how "PooPoo on the Head" somehow turned into the theme song for when my husband gives our 5 year old daughter her shower. Don't ask, cause I don't have an answer. I think one day, he was getting ready to jump in the shower, so I told him to bring her, she didn't want to, he tried to make her laugh by saying. "We have to wash your hair. It smells like Poo Poo" Giggles & Laughter followed.
They laugh together, she gets clean, doesn't freak out about washing her hair,and all is peaceful at shower time.
Well except hearing them all the way from downstairs.
"Poo Poo on the head"
"Poo Poo on the head"
When she is in her twenties, in her apartment,
will she reminisce about Poo Poo on the Head?
As an adult who is able to curse, will she change it to
"Shit on the Head"
"Shit on the Head"
Her roommates may think she is demented.
Here is the conversation this morning as I was dropping my 13 year old daughter off at her Junior High.
K- "Oh MY GOD Mom, see that kid with the red backpack?"
Me- "Uhh, yeah!" -my brain going into hyperdrive- "WHAT?! Is he mean to you? Is he a bully?WHAT?"
K- "Mom, no! God! He is the one I was telling you about......the one that STINKS!"
Me- "Ohhhh, that one!"
K- "Yeah, he stinks so bad it distracts me in class!I sit right next to him!I don't want to ask to move, because I don't want him to feel bad! But he is making me feel bad!!!"
She is now gathering her folder, and purse. And getting ready to shut the door.
K- " He smells like ROTTEN ORANGE CHICKEN AND FARTS!"
K- "Yeah, ROTTEN ORANGE CHICKEN AND FARTS. Bye Mom, I love you!"
Me- "Call me from the nurses office if you feel sick........" DOOR SLAMS
I drive away thinking of Rotten Orange Chicken, and how I may never order that again from the Chinese Takeout.
Then my 5 year old pipes up from her booster seat
Ki- "Call me if you feel sick! That is funny! Cause the farts would make her sick, huh Mama!!!"
Ki- "You said to K 'call me if you feel sick from the farts' "
Me- "Oh, no baby, not from the Orange Farts" - I have now condensed the name of the fart "K had a bad headache this morning, so I was reminding her that if it gets worse to call me."
Heading back home,we start pointing out anything circular we see along the way. Her pre-school class is studying circles,and wants us to point out EVERYTHING, according to my daughter.
But the fart talk could not end.
Ki- "But Mommy! A fart could make K sick. It could make her sick, huh? It makes me feel sick sometimes. Like when you or daddy.......!"
Me- "O.K., o.k. enough fart talk"
Ki- "But, sometimes..."
Me-"Yes, I suppose an Orange Chicken Fart could make K want to puke. The thought is kinda making me want to puke!"
~We both laugh~
And that was my morning conversation
Circles and Farts
and Rotten Orange Chicken (whatever that smells like)
My household is 80 percent female, I can't even blame it on the boys. Farts are funny! Gross! But Funny!