So, J Man SUCKS!!
J Man is a little Dweeb!
J Man is a Bleeping, bleeper, bleep, Bleep, Bleeping BLeep! !!!!!
WOW!!!! I FEEL BETTER. Apologies for the potty mouth. This mouth just really needed to go potty on the matter.
J Man is someones son, so for that I will stop calling him names. But he broke her heart in between classes. Couldn't even wait until lunch. Really??!!??
And as her heart was breaking, the wall was starting to crumble.
The wall of secrets.
The little things she kept inside while she was dating him,
but now she will admit.
He had a bit of a jealousy issue.
I already called that one, and was keeping my eye on it
He blamed us (my husband and I) for a lot of stuff.
a.k.a - .
we are the ultimate Cock Blockers. Sorry buddy..... 3 daughters.......
You bet your ass we are blocking!
Sometimes his breath smelled.
Well, ummm, can't help you on that one. Buy your next boyfriend some gum!?
She was embarrassed by some of his outfits.
Unless you are dating a fashionable gay man,(which is a secret strange dream of mine) welcome to the male species. We spend our life embarrassed by some of their outfit choices, and trying to turn them into our very own paper dolls.
'Are you really going to wear shorts out to dinner?'
See!
But the number one secret......
The topper.......
The ice cream on the cake.....
The cherry on the sundae.....
"He said you were a M.I.L.F."
He WHAT!!???
"He said it a few times"
A M.I.L.F.??!!
"Yeah!"
Ummm, o.k.
"I said to him 'what if I said that about your dad'? So he stopped saying it....... Kinda"
WOW! YUCK!
I mean I know your brothers friends have said it to him before....... But I didn't think you girls had to hear it! I mean boys are always egging each other. But your boyfriend? Ewww!
Then I tried to think back to the times I was around J man. Were my pants to tight, was my cleavage showing? Did I open the door accidentally in my bra and underwear?? - the answer is 'NO' , I was just going down the list of possibilities.
Most of the time when I was around him, I was in sweatpants, slippers, jeans, whatever.
Most of the time I was picking them up from a movie at 10:00 p.m. I did not step foot out of the car.
Do I exude M.I.L.Fness from my eyeballs while looking into the rear view mirror asking him if I turn right or left to get into his neighborhood?
Did I exude M.I.L.Fness while standing on the front porch of his house, speaking to his parents to make sure they were going to be home the whole time that the kids were going to be 'studying'?
Did I exude M.I.L.Fness while my husband and I sat on the couch with Jman and my daughter, lecturing them on taking things slow, having respect for our daughter, and the rules of dating our daughter. Was I just super MILFy then??
Should I change my last name to Robinson?
Jman is gone!
Her heart has healed!
I am a M.I.L.F.!
GROSS!!!
* is it o.k. if there was a teeny, tiny, eensy, weensy, itty, bitty, super duper minuscule, ultra microscopic part of me that was a wee bit flattered?
NO? That is not o.k.?
O.K. I take it back!
Gross!
Disgusting!
Down right disrespectful!
HORRIBLE!
AWFUL!!
BLEH!
Good Riddance J Man!
Good RIDDANCE!!
* Originally the 'Bleeping Bleeps' were actual BAD words! But I had thought about it, and I have a son. I don't want any mom of a daughter calling him those names.
Did I like Jman? NO
Did I approve of some of his actions? NO
Was he probably just being a typical teenage boy? Well, I guess.
So I turned the bad words into bleeps. Not because I don't cuss. But because I did not feel good cussing out a 16 year old boy.
Now, if a boy ever lays a hand on my daughter, or is verbally abusive.
IT IS ON!!!!!!
No Censoring my feelings on that one!
* Originally the 'Bleeping Bleeps' were actual BAD words! But I had thought about it, and I have a son. I don't want any mom of a daughter calling him those names.
Did I like Jman? NO
Did I approve of some of his actions? NO
Was he probably just being a typical teenage boy? Well, I guess.
So I turned the bad words into bleeps. Not because I don't cuss. But because I did not feel good cussing out a 16 year old boy.
Now, if a boy ever lays a hand on my daughter, or is verbally abusive.
IT IS ON!!!!!!
No Censoring my feelings on that one!
You're totally a MILF. But I'll join you in saying: "pa-touie on all heartbreakers!". I can't believe your daughter had to listen to him. Blech. And...ummmmm...can I just yell out "COCK BLOCKERS?!?" in my most incredulous outdoor voice? Please.
ReplyDeleteYou can most definitely yell that out. And if your neighbors question you, just give them my blog. I will explain!
DeleteI wanna be a MILF! Pick meeeeee................okay, I'm grossed out too.
ReplyDeleteI maybe want to hear that a random strange person called me a MILF, BUT certainly not anyone that has actually been in my home, and ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NOT a person that is telling my daughter he loves her.
DeleteWhich don't even get me started on the love thing. ??!!! Really, they know what love is.
Who am I kidding? I did the same exact stuff. I have loved many. ;)
'Cock blockers?!'hahahahaha and...
ReplyDeleteMy jaw is hanging open and I will have to take my hands off the keyboard to close it...(having looked up MILF).
Julie, I am sorry you had to find out that way. Google can be harsh!
DeleteSo many thoughts here....
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of 3 sons, thank you and all girl-moms who serve as cock-blockers. I promise to do my part over here, but it takes a village.
Second - no man under the age of 30 is worth very much. Not that your daughter should date 30-year-olds. But tell her Marianne says not to get too vested in these starter boyfriends.
Third - I totally want to be a MILF, so I'm a little jealous. Well done.
Lastly - I hope your daughter is doing ok. Time wounds all heels.
Marianne, you are sooo, sooo right! It does take a village. I also have a son don't forget, and I will tell you this. I did teach him right from wrong, and about having respect for girls, but at some point us moms know that deep down they are just horny boys. All parents can only do so much. Ugghh!
DeleteThat is one of the first things I said to Jmans mom was- "hey, don't ever think that I am at home blaming everything on your son. It takes two to tango, not to mention that my son is my baby. I know he is not perfect, but either are the girlies of the world. So I know my daughter isn't perfect, but as long as we are all on the same page."
I know, I have been trying to drill it in her. Don't put so much energy into boys. Have fun!
Wait till your boys get a little older. And with 3 of them, chances are you will be called a MILF. Boys friends are the WORST! THey just like to rile each other up, and alot of times it involves the mom.....
She is doing great now, and Time wounds all heels, or Heals all wounds depending on my wine intake ;) I told her that many times. She stared at me blankly. But I think she got it.
The jealousy stuff though-- yuck, watch after that one. I talked to my son about that alot also. If you are sitting around swimming in jealousy, well then it's not a good relationship. You are kids. HAVE FUN for Gosh Sakes!