Friday, April 22, 2011

Restriction..... More torture for kids, or for the parents?

My seventeen year old son is on restriction right now. Two months! It was actually my ex-husbands idea for the length of his sentence. (and I have to admit I was a bit shocked, as I thought he was the 'easy' one, and I was the crazy, screaming, lunatic, one) So two months it is! I agreed, and here we go. Of course, my sons father and his new wife probably have to deal with the moaning and groaning waaaayyy more than I do. Since my son decided to try living with his dad, he is only at my house every other weekend. Which breaks my heart. I walk into his room sometimes during the week, and just sit on his bed and look around. Laughing at a memory, or getting choked up looking at pictures of him. He is seventeen years old. He is my first born. He is my only son, and although he is the oldest of four, in a sense he is my baby. The bond that him and I have is unbreakable. I was nineteen when I got married and had him, and he was my sidekick. My buddy, my little beautiful baby boy. Now he is almost a man, with a social life. But not right now!!! No social life to take him away from me. He is on restriction and for me, this is GREAT!!

me- "hey, want to go to the store with me?"
him- " sure mom, I might as well, since there is nothing else to do" said with a bit of an attitude!!
me - thinking to myself  "this is great, he is going to hang with me"
            ----- hours later-------
me - " hey, want to watch my DVR'd episodes of the Office?"
him- "yeah, my favorite show. I already watched last weeks episode, but I'll watch it again with you" still a bit of pissed off grumpiness in his voice!
            -------next day------
me - " So, I guess we are going to go golfing today huh?" YES, I know, he is on restriction,but my husband was going to take me golfing for the first time, and my son golfs (in between being a semi-rebellious teen) so we wanted him to come with us. Golfing at 6:00 a.m. with your mom and stepdad is kinda like being on restriction. Wasn't like we were handing him beers, and letting him drive the golf cart. He probably does that with his friends, but not us.
him - " Yeah, M and I are going to take you. Its kinda been fun hanging out with you mom"
              ---------that same night-------
him- knock knock - He knocks on my door "watcha doin mom?"
me- "nothin, just readin. Whats up?"
him-climbing into my bed, and slowly laying next to me puttin his head on my shoulder. "Remember when you used to sing Puff the Magic Dragon to me mom?"
me- "of course." me jumping a little to ahead of myself  "why, do you want me to sing it to you now" Which I would love to do
him- " uhhh, no thanks mom. Just wondering if you remember."
That was enough for me. Of course I remember singing that song to him. I remember every moment of every day that I have been able to call him my son. And right now he is on restriction for doing something that caused great disappointment to all of the adults in his life who love him. But I have to say, that if he had not done this 'bad thing', and he was not on restriction for two long months, than he probably would not be hanging out with me as much as he has been. That boy with his head resting on my shoulder, secretly wishing I would sing to him, but too old to be sung to by his mother, would probably be off with friends had it not been for his awful act of teenage rebellion. 
So in a weird way, I am thankful. Thankful for the bad choice he made this time. Because it was a bad choice that didn't hurt anybody, it did not scar him for life, and it did not take him away from me. In fact, that horrible decision he made in one senseless teenage moment, gave me my son for two months. So for me, right now, I am thinking that this restriction is A - o.k. in my book. 

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