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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Hey Mr. Computer Smarty Pants Boy- You SUCK!

What is it about computer knowledgeable people that make them think they are better than everyone else in the human race?

Our computer software whatever he is guy: "uh, what about this do you not understand?"

Me: "uhhh, everything you just said you big condescending A**!!!"

Computer software, keyboard know it all: " Let me get this straight.You are talking about this blah, blah, blabbity blahhh blah. But I am trying to explain to you this. So what about this do you not understand?"

Me: "Oh, MY GOD! What the fuck are you even babbling on about?" And can I please wipe your condescending smirk off of your skinny little face!!!

Computer Ass Nerd face: "So you really should be able to figure this stuff out yourself, but if you need me to do it for you, I mean I can. But it is actually pretty simple,so I am not sure which part you are not understanding"

Me: "What I don't understand is why you are such a skinny twirp! What I don't understand is why you think you are so high and mighty! What I don't understand is why my boss is paying you to talk to me like this! What I don't understand is why you don't understand that you are such a DOUCHE BAG!"

Software, wanna be cool kid with the patience of a peanut: " So, let me get this straight..........You don't understand why I am a douche bag? Well, do you know that it is not humanly possible for a human to take on the form of an actual douche bag, so there for you must be an idiot to think that I can physically turn myself into a douche bag." 

Me: "I think I am going to tell my husband to beat you up!"

THE END



5 comments:

  1. I am having flashbacks to my dealings with the IT department at my old job. They had a bounty on me.

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  2. That's funny. I hate the it geeks that act like that. I work in an office too, but for some reason, I got stuck being the computer nerd, and I'm not even a nerd. I would kick his ass just for fun if I were your husband.

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  3. I'll beat him up. What a twat waffle. I feel like a mutant every time I show up at the Apple "Genius Bar" to speak to one of their "Geniuses". Wtf calling themselves geniuses anyway. Last time I went in for a charger for my laptop. Somehow they still managed to make me feel stupid.

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  4. Marianne- Should be other way around. We should have a bounty on them!!

    Barfly- Ohhhh, kicking ass for fun! In high school (o.k., I'll admit even his 20's) my hubby would love that. Now everyone is lawsuit happy! I will just take Mr. I.T.'s abuse! I think it is one of the laws of nature. I.T. guys get to abuse the 'simple minded' SUCKS!

    Moddie- I will buy you the plane ticket. 'Twat WAFFLE'- O.K. can I just say that I went to a little new 'waffle sandwich stand' by the beach on Saturday?(same day you left this comment') Sign? Cosmic Cosmicness?? I don't know. Maybe Computer boy will choke on a waffle. Not choke and die (wishing death is bad) maybe just choke, and then get the Heimlich from someone, and somehow the Heimlich not only pushes the waffle out, but all of his computer knowledge.
    Oh, and the Apple Genius Bar...........UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't get me started. I fell ya on that one ;)

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    Replies
    1. *feel ya.....FEEL ya. not FELL ya. I mean, I guess I could FELL ya??!!!



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