Sunday, December 25, 2011

Anxiety,Laptops,Irritable Bowel, Oh My!

I am typing on my brand new LAPTOP!!My husband has faith in me. He wants to be supportive of my writing. He says he 'believes in me', and now I will be able to write more / blog more.
You want to know what I think???........................... I think he is secretly hoping, wishing, and praying( to whomever will listen)  that I will somehow become the next Stephenie Meyer. That I will wake up one morning and start typing away about a dream I had, and that dream will turn into a gazillion pages, that will then turn into a book. A book that is number one on the best sellers list for 50 weeks, and then he can quit his back breaking job of being a general contractor. We will live off the millions that I rake in, traveling the world to attend my book signings. All the while having to hire an agent to help sort out all of the calls from Hollywood producers who want to turn my novel into a Mega Hit! Oprah will call me personally to beg me for an interview which may be hard because I have grown increasingly anxious in certain situations. And sitting in front of Oprah could cause me to black out, or worse get diarrhea, which is a blog within itself. I keep Immodium A-D in business.There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to my new found anxiety. No pattern at all that makes sense. Sometimes I am the life of the party, or life of the office, life of the carpool ride, life of the supermarket line, life of the shower, which is where I do alot of my talking to myself. Re-enacting moments from my day. What I would have said to that lady who cut in front of me at Jack in the Box had my brain worked a bit faster at getting a quick one-liner to come out of my frozen mouth. But..........sometimes I am super nervous, anxious and surprisingly do NOT want all eyes on me. Hmmm, another one for the therapist. If I ever get around to meeting up with a therapist.Who has the time for that, maybe there is a therapy app for my phone. Can it prescribe xanax? Because my doctor won't prescribe it, nope! His answer to me when I asked him for some (which a friend of mine just informed me that you never, never, NEVER under any circumstance, walk into your doctors office and ask for a drug by name.) You have to let the doctor suggest it to you, never the other way around. How she knows this, I am not sure, and that seems a bit more shady than just asking. I figured I was being honest, and he would just appreciate that, and start filling out the prescription sheet with his chicken scratch. Uhhhh, NO! This is what he asked back to me, a question with a question. Great!  "do you ever just get 'me' time? Do you get time to just walk on the beach? Breath? Maybe try deep breathing and yoga." Thanks Doc, I'll let my 4 kids, husband, and job know that I will be taking some time off for some deep breathing, walks on the beach, and daily yoga. I'll get right on that. But since I am a push-over, who never rocks a boat, I smiled and said 'O.K'

Anyway, back to my hubby and my laptop.He believes in me, he loves me, and this morning he surprised me BIG TIME!! I have wanted a laptop for a long, long, LONG time. How is it that all of our kids have one (well not the 5 year old, thank god, but I am sure she is next at the rate the world is going) and I don't? I hope to make him proud, I hope to show him how much I appreciate this gift, and I really hope that atleast I win a short story contest in a magazine, winning $200, so that I can say 'Hey I am a published writer, and I owe it all to my supportive husband' ;)

Merry Christmas Everybody!  I know mine started out Awesome!!

Coming attraction for my next blog: 
Next I am trying to decide whether I will dedicate a whole post to my Irritable Bowel syndrome, which my husband thinks the only good thing that comes from that is that it may be the reason I am still thin after having four kids. I eat like you would not believe. I believe junk food was sent to us from heaven above, but I can also make an awesome organic butternut squash chili. I am definitely multi layered in my likes, personalities, quirks, etc. But I am constantly having stomach issues, so no food stays in for too long. Maybe I won't write about that. Who needs to know all of that, it is definitely more than my husband wanted to know about me, but he had to learn quick. A first date that consisted of Sushi for dinner than off to Dave and Busters for games, drinks, and more food, well yes, he got a full dose early on. But I was showing alot of cleavage that night, so he was able to overlook the fact that I had to literally sprint to the bathroom.
Or a post talking about my freeway anxiety. The husband loves road trips with mom. He once made me put wine in my coffee sipper to calm my nerves while we took all the kids to Balboa Park for the day.
Kids: Mom, what are you drinking?
Me:  Uhh, oh, umm, Chai tea - Dammit why did I say that? The girls LOVE chai tea, and I always give them sips
Daughter: Chai tea? Can I have a drink?
Me: No!! Oh, I mean No, no sorry honey. I have a cold and don't want you to get sick.
Son: It smells like wine or something.
Me: O.K. FINE, I AM DRINKING WINE. I was so nervous about the freeway today, and Dr. F wouldn't prescribe me anything, so we thought maybe if I gulped down some wine I'd be a bit calmer. Sorry kids, never do this o.k. It's bad and illegal. Even if you are a passenger, here I will just gulp it before we pull out of the driveway.
Son: mumbling under his breath You should have just had a shot of Tequila. It would have been quicker.
How he knows this I am not sure, that will be my next blog.

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