Four year olds bring great joy! Teenagers bring on therapist bills.....

Four year olds bring great joy! Teenagers bring on therapy bills.....

Conversation with a 12 year old pre-teen-

"You have too much makeup on! You are only 12"

"No I don't, this is how everybody looks."
"I said you could wear clear lip gloss and light mascara in Junior High. Not all of this!!"
"All of WHAT?? This is what EVERYBODY wears!" 

"Well does everybody look like an Oompa Loompa with ORANGE foundation?"

Conversation with a 14 year old teen-

"Bbbbbb,  Get in here right now! What is this picture on Facebook? Why are you posing like that? How many times have I said NO sexy poses?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'WHAT DO I MEAN' ??!!!??You know what I mean, because I have only explained it like 50 MILLION TIMES! No standing in the mirror taking pictures of yourself in your bikini!!!!!"

"Oh"
"OH?!? OH MY A**!!"

Conversation with a 16 year old son
"God Mom, I'm so glad I don't stress you out as much as the girls do!........By the way, can I borrow your car?"
-silence-

Conversation with an Angelic, Sent from Heaven 4 year old 
"I love you Baby Bear!"
"I love you too mommy. You are the bestest mommy ever."

 Oompa Loompa, Lolita,and Eddie Haskells Long Lost Cousin would probably be pretty pissed to know that I wrote about them in my blog.Although if I ever become rich and famous, it would definitely help ease their pain.

**Since this post was first written, the 4 year old is now 6, and yes she is still a flipping JOY!
The 12 year old is 14 going on 25 and I am happy to report she has learned proper makeup application.
The 14 year old is now a 16 year old newly licensed driver;she has deleted her Facebook because 'it isn't really cool anymore, and she is so over it' (and has matured beyond mirrored self pics)and she is being stalked by Mom and Dad! Read about that here.
The 16 year old is now 18, has graduated high school,has a car of his own (thanks to the money lent to him by every living family member every time that hunk of junk breaks down) ,is working at a movie theater and signing up for some general ed classes at the junior college. 

**END NOTE- I love my kids! There are some straight A report cards coming through, major help with chores, and family unity that makes me proud.But goodness gracious, when they want to act up,it sure does help out with the blog material. Not to mention the stand up comedy routine that I have been writing since I was 7 years old imitating Gildna Radner on Saturday Night Live.

Siri is teaching my six year old the F Bomb, and other news

Translated into six year old language, it would read:
"Siri, how can Mommy beat this level on Crash Bandicoot and beat the boss?"

O.K., so, I was playing Crash Bandicoot on Playstation. I hadn't played Video Games in years, but it was all starting to come back to me. I got to a level where you have to beat a boss before advancing. I was having a really tough time. My six year old daughter had my phone, and was doing whatever it is that she does when she says "Mommy, can I see your phone?" Usually I'm busy, not paying attention, and then 30 minutes later I discover that she has recorded a video of her Littlest Pet Shops that is 28 minutes long. Do you know how much patience it takes to sit on the couch and watch the videos your daughter has made? Videos of toys? Videos that can last upwards of 28 minutes? Videos of Barbies and Pet Shops having discussions with one another? Videos so shaky it gives me a headache? Things that parents have to pretend to enjoy!

Anyway, this time she asked to see my phone, I was busy trying to 'Beat the Boss' and I guess she wanted to ask Siri to help me out.I could hear my daughter speaking into my phone, and Siris annoying voice speaking back to her........

Next thing you know she throws the phone on the floor, starts to almost cry and blurts out

"I didn't say a bad word to Siri (a.k.a. 'Sorry', as my daughter pronounces it). I didn't tell her to say that bad word mommy, I don't know why she said it. I promise"

HUH?? I paused the game, picked up the phone, and read the screen. 

My 14 year old daughter and I literally had to catch our breath from the loud, long laughter that followed.I couldn't have made that up if I tried.

Homemade Recycled Cardboard Dollhouse

And so you all don't think I am just some negligent mom who plays video games, and lets Siri teach my daughter how to say "F'ing", I figured I would show the above picture. I got the idea from Pinterest, which lead me to this page http://www.redtedart.com/category/dolls-house-2/ A mom who started making a little mini dollhouse with her daughter from cardboard, scraps of material, and other items usually just sitting around the house. Time consuming and a bit tedious? YES. Fun, and wonderful to see my daughter's face light up when I say we can 'work on the dollhouse for a bit'? THE BEST.

"OMG, if she thinks that I don't know that she is taking a picture of me, well she doesn't know that I know her better than she thinks"
WOW, that was like a Dr. Seuss Quote

16 year old daughter has a job!! WOO HOO!!! At a local Taco Shop down by the beach! Of course we eat there all the time now.
And of course we embarrass her, and take pictures of her wiping down the tables. And of course we leave money in her tip jar! Way to go B!! Your first job!

"Mom, can you take a picture of my hair so I can text it to Kalie?"
"Sure Honey" - and my ulterior motive is so I can also write a post about it. My poor daughters....

Have you all seen the Ombre hair look on the internet? Ummm, isn't that just called - "Hey, my roots are showing"? But whatever, tomato / to-mah-to! My 14 year old had been wanting to try the Ombre look. A bit of a beachy, lighter on the ends kind of thing.

Am I a hairdresser? No, but I play one on T.V............

A little bit of bleach, a few pieces of foil, and Voila, Ombre Hair. 

**Before you all start wondering if I can afford conditioner for my daughter, the answer is 'Yes' 
This is kinda the look she was going for. 'Beachy Hair' it is called. Other days she does the whole, blow dried  straight ironed, shine spray, gloss serum look.

* J.R. trivia fact. EVERY SINGLE TIME that I use the word Voila in a blog post, I have to Google the spelling first. :)

Walla

Vwalla

Woila

Valla

These are all the different ways that my brain tries to peer pressure me into spelling it. But I take charge and say "Brain, stop pressuring me! I am going to Google it, and ignore you!!"

Fear of Teenagers

Ephebiphobia

So my internet homepage yesterday had a list of strange phobias that you may or may not have heard of.

One of them being Ephebiphobia - Fear of Teenagers.

So that explains the debilitating pain that comes over me every day at 3:18 p.m. when I hear the front door open, and the massive whirl of Hollister perfume and teen girl chatter fills up the front entry way.
Followed by a firing squad of questions/comments from my 14 and 16 year old teen daughters.

"I need to find a prom dress, NOW"
"What are we having for dinner? Fish? YUCK!"
"Who was in my room today? Mom, why do you let K play with my stuff? I don't need a six year playing in my room!"
"Can I go out to dinner with Trent tonight? I mean, I don't like fish, so it'd probably be better if I don't eat here."
"Why can't I go out to dinner with him??? I already finished my homework!"
"What? My teacher is crazy.......why did she email you that? I DID turn that in, she is lying!"
"Mom, can I talk to you privately?........can I borrow money?"
"Mom, can you take me to Target, or the mall? I told my friends that we could buy our matching outfits for our dance final...........Yes, they'll pay you back, Geez Mom!!"
"Mom, can you help me get this stain out? Ryan and Troy had a Juice Box war at lunch today."
"Guess what, we are officially, and I mean O-FISH-UH-LEE, the only two people left at school whose parents won't let them have iPhones! You know how embarrassing our pho..........."

"STOP"

"How bout a 'Hi mom'?"

"How was your day mom?"

"That lunch you packed us today was yummy mom!"

"We were just getting ready to ask you that mom. I swear!"

"We do love you mom!"

"That salad was really good......even our friends were jealous."

"You need a hug mom?"

"WE LOVE YOU and APPRECIATE YOU!"

*I always like to add my 'J.R. Disclaimer' at the bottom of these rants. A little something positive to balance out the negative.
The 'Prom Dress/Fish Hater'? She offered to pay for her own prom dress with her paycheck. Sweet right?
The 'Take me to Target / Mall' daughter- She just got a 4.2 GPA on her last report card, and the second highest mark on a surprise Geometry test.

But.......................... the fear still exists. PMS'y teen girls are always creepin around the corner. 4.2 GPA's and money offering aside........Ephebiphobia - It's real. Look it up.

Thank God for Wal Mart and Duct Tape!

I'm tired, and my fingers don't even want to type.

So this will be short!

GOD BLESS DUCT TAPE!

My daughters performed this week in their High School's Student Choreography show case. Props were needed. Props built by my husband, and painted by yours truly.

The first showing was a matinee at 4:00 p.m. on Thursday. The first performance is never crowded, and that was probably a good thing, as the tombstone prop that we built FAILED! 

The glue wasn't strong enough, or something; not to mention that my daughter probably did not pull her feet up high enough, and her sister and friend probably did not give all their strength when lifting her, but they are kids, they worked their butts off for the past month practicing, so I will blame it on the construction.

Lift your feet honey, Lift your feet!

Man Down, Man Down! Errr, I mean, Prop Tombstone Down, Prop Down!!

I can't imagine what was going through my daughters mind that very  second.
But she might have been thinking
"F*CK, SH*T, WHAT THE HELL, DAMMIT!!"
Noooooooo, not my daughter!  I am sure she was thinking "Golly Gee Willakers, how did that happen?"I was mouthing
"Keep Dancing!KEEP DANCING!!!" 

~Cut to intermission~

Mom wipes a tear from daughters eye,

Mom helps both daughters & their friend laugh it off.

Mom finds someone with a roll of Duct Tape (yes, apparently people just carry it around with them) 

Mom runs backstage, and quickly starts taping like a mad woman, so it will be repaired before the 7:00 showing.

Mom then runs to Taco Bell to get the girls dinner before the night show.

Mom's phone rings as she is pulling out of the drive thru

"Uhh, can you get more duct tape?Some girl backstage wanted to see if she could jump over the tombstones, and she broke the other one. And Kialy's tombstone is kinda loose too"

Lo and Behold, I am in a Wal Mart shopping center.

Super Mom to the rescue.

Taco Bell delivered, Tombstone #2 and #3 repaired (and even better as I bought black duct tape, instead of the grey that I had to borrow the first time) 

Ready for the next dance!

Cross your fingers!

oh, and honey, lift your feet higher......Mom's just sayin......!

See the duct tape at the bottom? That is some handy work, huh? YEAH? Right?
I know! 

SUCCESS!!!!!!!
MUCH BETTER!!!!
YES!
THOSE ARE MY GIRLS!!!
THEY ROCK.......And their mom isn't so bad either

Did you just tell me to 'Shut the Hell Up'???

If you are driving with your six year old daughter, and you think you are entertaining her by engaging in some chit chat, and she says

"Umm, Mama I know a game we can play. Let's play the 'Whoever can be the most quietest game, and whoever talks loses, so if you talk you lose, but whoever is quietest wins, so you gotta be the quietest'......Yeahh, mama let's play that game"

Then she lays her head back against her head rest and stares out at the ocean as you take the scenic route home. 

Well you know what just happened?

You just got asked to 

 'Shut the hell up'

in six year old talk.

Did she just try to play the master?

Did she just do the ol' switcheroo and play me at my own game?

Did she .....

Did she.....??

Yeah, she just told me!

In all seriousness, this happened today. Did my daughter need some quiet time to mentally go over the events of her day?

Did she just want to stare at the waves crashing on the sand, and ponder the meaning of life?

Was my meaningless chit-chat not superb enough for her exuberant brain?

~or~

Do six year olds just need some quiet time in their life too?

We probably don't give the little ones enough credit, but they can be pretty wise.

Maybe it was her way of saying 

"Hey Mama, let's just be silent and enjoy the beauty of the ocean that we are so blessed to live by"

??

Nahhh,

I think she was saying

"Shut the heck up Mama!Stop talking about all the fun things we are going to do this summer, and for the love of god PLEASE STOP SINGING

You cannot, and never will be able to sing like Kelly Clarkson, Adele, or Stevie Nicks. PLEASE STOP TRYING"

* This moment of silence is dedicated to my daughter. Really and truly one of the wisest, most thoughtful, and sweetest little human beings. 

Besides my other 3, they are pretty wise, thoughtful and sweet.

Dam equality! 

HOW TO STALK YOUR NEWLY LICENSED TEENAGE DAUGHTER, LESSON PLAN 1

Is that them? Is that the top of her car in the drive thru? It has to be. She loves McDonalds.

On Monday, December 10, 2012 at 8:43 a.m. our 16 year old daughter became a member of the Licensed Drivers Club.

On Monday, December 10, 2012 at 9:13 as her and our 14 year old pulled out of the DMV parking lot......my husband and I became members of the Parents Who Stalk Their Teens Club.

Part #1

Make sure you are staring all teary eyed and emotional at the CORRECT car in the McDonalds drive thru.

They had asked if they could get fast food breakfast, and then drive to school. We said 'yes'. They took off out of the lot, We got stuck at a red light.

We come down the hill of a major road and see them in the left turn lane, we think we are being slick going straight so that we can pull into the shopping center across the highway and stalk  lovingly watch as she orders her first real licensed driver Egg McMuffin.

Is that even her car? Wait, that isn't even her!!! Where are they?

Part #2

When you lose em, text the 14 year old passenger (never the driver) and nonchalantly ask if they have 'made it to school yet? Where did they wind up going to eat? Yada Yada'  Even though you know darn well they are still on the road, have not made it to school yet and 'wind up going to eat' is your way of asking 'WHERE ARE YOU EATING RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND????'

Success! 14 year old texts back saying

 "No, we are not at school yet. We came to Robertos, by the medical building." 

With screeching tires, we haul ass to Robertos. Breakfast Burritos; OF COURSE!  Surveillance under way!

Eventually they come out, (taking a bit of their sweet ol' time I have to say) and hopefully this is not a pre-cursor to their days of ditching. 

A few miles into it we catch up to them. It was a bit hard to try to stay hidden behind her, as she was thankfully driving a bit cautious and slow, and we couldn't keep stopping traffic just so that we could 'hang back, and not get caught stalking.'

They laughed at us in the rear view mirror at the red light before their school. I thought we would have U-turned to head home at that point, but hubby won the 'Crazy Parent Award' (an award usually saved for good ol' super freak mom)and followed them all the way into the student parking lot. Made sure she parked o.k., reminded her that she is now in charge of not only her life, but her sisters (No pressure put on her at all) blew her a kiss, gave a thumbs up and we took off.

Part #3

This lesson has nothing to do with stalking, but just a lesson on the Parents Place in the Pyramid of teenageland!

Once you are no longer needed to be the 25 and older driver of a 'Permit Carrying' Teen, you are no longer needed to be in the front seat. 

What happens when you say you want to go to the Dollar Tree?

B grabs her keys and says 

"I'll take you"

You smile and say

"How nice! Now you get to Chauffeur me around"

You walk out into the cold evening air with your 16 year old and 14 year old...

You automatically reach for the front seat passenger handle, and are greeted with a

"ummmm, K is going to sit up front with me. She is the D.J. of the stereo. Plus......you don't have to sit up front and help me anymore......... I have my actual license now"

This is my back seat view of B's car.
And I think they are getting a kick out of it.

We saw the 'Biebs' in concert! Cue the SCREAMS!!!

 Yes my household is a music loving household. All types of music can be heard from our ipods.
From Fleetwood Mac to Flo Rida.
From Johnny Cash to Johnny Rotten
From New Kids on the Block (hey, I relive my youth once in a while) to Justin Bieber!

I sat in front of two computers, four months ago and anxiously awaited while the hourglass spun in circles.
Would they be sold out?
Would I be able to figure out the Ticketmaster Captcha?
Are the $50 dollar seats going to be in the nosebleed section? spoiler alert.....Yes they were!

Hourglass stopped spinning

"GIRLS, WE ARE GOING TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER IN CONCERT"

The hoops I had to jump through to get these tickets........

too many hoops to count!

Pre-Sale to American Express cardholders only- No problem!

Yes Problem- We don't have an AMEX

Call my parents, they'll surely have one- they don't

Sign up for one online, Genius!- Card will arrive in the next 2-4 weeks, WTF?? I NEED IT NOW! 

Call my parents back asking for advice- Go to grocery store and buy AMEX gift card?!?!

GENIUS PARENTS I HAVE! WAIT, NO, Not enough time!!!

Tell parents you love them, but you have to hang up now and contrive a plan- Dad says "hold on, call your Aunt! She may have one, and you can pay her back." GENIUS AGAIN!

Best Aunt in the world, can I have your AMEX # to purchase some tickets to see the Biebs in concert?- YES? I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Tickets Purchased!

'Upper Concourse' Section 316......Code Name for 'NOSEBLEED'
But in all honesty, my girls and I don't complain. Justin Bieber the size of an ant is better than no Bieber at all.

My Co-Worker/BFF also jumped through the same hoops that morning, and was able to buy tickets for herself and her three girls.

Then our boss, who, in case he is reading this is THE BEST BOSS EVER, found out we were going and used his Marriott Reward points to get us each a Hotel Room.

CAN YOU SAY          

COMPLETE AND UDDER(OR IS IT utter??) AWESOMENESS??!!!

When checking into a hotel that is full of Justin Bieber fans from all over California, what do you do first?

You leave your teen daughters in the hotel room with your five year old while they get all decked out in homemade t-shirts, and makeup (teens, not 5 year old! No makeup for her yet. This isn't Toddlers and Tiaras)

You tell them you are going to 'check out the Hotel and go for a little walk', then you grab your husband (who only came because he happened to have the next day off. No ticket for him. He was going to lounge at the bar while I have my ear screamed in by crazed lunatic teenagers) 

You call your BFF who is staying a floor below you;even though the B*TCHY girl at the front desk swore you were on the same floor. Uhhhh, when did 21 and 20 become the same number?

.......and you wind up here

We checked out the Hotel......on our way to the outdoor bar. These parents deserve a drink before heading into the treacherous land of Maniac Bieber Fans!
By the way, we could hear the screams from the Staples Center while sitting at the bar. The screams of girls that thought if they showed up early they'd catch a glimpse of JB hoppin out of his tinted windowed, chrome car!
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JUSTIN WE LOVE YOU AHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEE"

Bartender, can you make that a double?

Time to go!

Blurry action shot of the girls jumping in the hall on the way down. 

All in all it was a great experience

Oh, wait let me rewind. 

A word of advice

Five year olds get tired waiting 2 hours for someone to show up on a stage. 

Five year olds don't care about concerts

They only care about Hotel Pools and jumping on Hotel Beds

Five year olds grab your hand midway through the FIRST SONG and yell in your ear

"Can I go to the Hotel with Daddy? I'm tired!"

Five year olds make teenagers say 

"OHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOODDDDDDDDDD! She is wasting a ticket! We so could have brought one of our friends"

To which mom replies-

"We are NOT even going to go there!"

and for once.......they zipped their lips, and didn't go there. :)

Daddy saved the day.Thank goodness he came, thank goodness he was 2 seconds away having a tray of sliders and a beer at the ESPN Sports Bar! Thank goodness his night was made by having two moms try to pick him up because he looked 'lonely'.

Thank goodness he had an excuse of "Oh, I'm waiting for my wife and daughters inside the concert"

Thank goodness that excuse turned out not to be a lie, because one minute later he was actually needed.

Daddy to the rescue. 

YES, they went back to the room and jumped on the beds! He is a big kid too!

What an AMAZING time with my family.

The next morning we raided the Executive Lounge for all of the free snacks.Thanks Boss....again......for being an Elite Member! We love free snacks!

We were exhausted, but hubby still drove us through Hollywood to 'see the sights'
Sights being Homeless and Graffiti, but Hey, I got my Hollywood sign Picture.

Lessons learned

• If you are going to sit in front of your computer for AMEX presale tickets. Make sure you actually have an American Express. 
• Don't think your homemade purple t-shirts from Michaels are going to be 'Super Original'- They AREN'T! I can't even tell you how many homemade purple t-shirts we saw! And Justin didn't even take the time to come find my girls and compliment them on their iron on skills.
• If your five year old states to you beforehand that she is SUPER excited about the Hotel, but the concert 'Uhhhh, not too much Mama'- Believe her! Don't waste the money on the ticket. She will have just as much fun in the pool or jumping on the bed with Daddy.
• Find the Bar! Find the Bar at the Hotel, and then when you get into the arena, find that bar too. Smile at the Bartender, slam your hand down on the counter and say "I think this Mama deserves a Margarita"
• Most important lesson learned- HAVE FUN! Because I did! 
• Upper Concourse means............             UPPER CONCOURSE!!!   SUPER DUPER UPPER!

I am worried about my pal Kim Kardashian

Poor Kimberly.

Did you see the episode where Kanye comes in and has his stylist 'makeover' Kim's wardrobe? Calling some of her items ghetto.

She is left with a bare closet. So basically she has gone from one mistake to another. A guy who wants to change her. Only she says she is doing it because she is evolving, and changing herself.

Uhhhhhhhhh, Kim, that is not what it looked like from my point of view - my point of view being from my cozy bed with a nightcap, and a grumbling husband who complains about my choice in television viewing. Sorry Honey, but I am a sucker for reality. Any reality, even if it is semi scripted and fake. How do those Kardashian girls get their hair so shiny?

So it had me thinking. In a way we all change a bit when we start dating someone. Maybe we don't throw the entire contents of our closet away, but we all do something. Even if we don't notice that we are doing it.

When I first started dating my husband, I overheard him say something about how some girls look cute wearing jean overalls with tank tops. (Maybe he had some farm girl fantasy, I don't know) So what did I do? Ohhhhh, I just happened to dig out my Old Navy jean overalls, a little white tank top and just happened to wear them on one of our desert dirt bike trips. I HATED THOSE OVERALLS!!!!!! But I sure rocked the hell out of them that weekend. I also pretended to like the Lakers, even choosing my favorite player. I acted like I knew who the Dead Kennedys were (a Punk band, I don't like punk at all)
Eventually the overalls stopped seeing the light of day, I started complaining when he played his music too loud, and now I go upstairs and read while he sits downstairs alone watching The Lakers.

My daughter is on boyfriend #3 right now. I have watched (or should I say listened) to her style in music change with each boy.
Boy #1 had diamond earrings, and even though he was as white as can be, had a bit of a hip hop tone to his voice.So of course, what was blaring from her stereo for 7 months? You guessed it.......Hip Hop and Rap!
Boy #2 different boy, different music. He didn't last long, so his style of music has already been forgotten.
Boy #3- We love boy 3. He is part of the family. They have known each other for a long time. They have always been friends, but then it grew. He is respectful, kind, and helped me bring in groceries from Costco the other day. He is a keeper. But I have now watched her change again. Not major changes, just minor enough for a mom who was once a teenage girl herself, to notice. Hipster,mellow music now plays from her ipod.When asked how she discovered this band, she says "oh, I have loved them for a while"- Well, that is not what I heard when I was eavesdropping on you and your sisters conversation. A conversation that went a little something like this.

B- 'I love the Lumineers'

K- 'Me too'

B- 'I am so glad boy #3 showed me who they were.'

K- 'Me too! Hey, put on that other song he played for you.'

B-' Oh yeah, they are my new favorite band too. Just so peaceful, ya know?'

K-'Yeah, I know'

B-'What are you wearing to school tomorrow?'

K-'I don't know, you?'

B-' I don't know, boy #3 likes those brown boots I wore the other day, so probably those'


I got to go, I just realized what time it is and I was going to try to paint my nails before work. I overheard my hubby saying he likes red nail polish on women, so..................................

Be yourself
Be Happy

But sometimes it is o.k. to be a tiny bit of the person your mate wants you to be. We all know us women are experts at trying to change our men;short of cutting their balls off.
I guess I can dust off some overalls, wear some red nail polish, and listen to one punk song, while watching sports. ;)

'THE' Overalls

But don't ever, EVER ask me to give away my wardrobe. That is where I would draw the line, for myself and my daughters.

**So it is o.k. if my daughter changes her tunes, and sports her brown boots. But if I start seeing her 'true inner spirit' start to change. We will have problems. On a positive note, boy #3 is awesome, and in all seriousness he has always liked her just for being her. I could spot his crush from twenty miles away, even when she didn't even realize it was going on. I don't think he wants to change anything about her, and that is fine with me. Although I could stand for him to tell her she needs to keep up on the dishes and cat box. Hey, help a mama out boy!



Happy Tuesday!

I would like to publicly apologize for.............

I have been a bad blogger.
I have been a bad blog reader.
I have been a bad blog comment leaver (yes it makes sense)


Why?

Because summer has been BUSY for me.

But I have not been bad at this:

Daughters 14th Birthday 'ROOM MAKEOVER'
I want to live in her room.

I have also not been bad at this:

Jello Shot Cantaloupes!
Healthy yet, 'FUN'

I have also been pretty good at this:

Sittin on the boat, relaxing, reading 50 Shades!

This has kept me pretty busy also:

Teachin my 15 1/2 year old how to drive.
'Keep Both Hands on the WHEEL!'

Havin a little fun too:

Surprised my older girls with a Demi Lovato concert at our local fair.
Then Fried Foods, Picture Booth Photos and Expensive rides afterwards!

Threw a graduation party for my son, and was busy hiding the booze from his friends:

No, I don't normally keep bottles of Tequila in my room, but when my grandpa comes over to me saying "Hey, that tall, loud one over there was sneakin in your booze" - Well, I had to start hiding! and taking keys away.

Summer also makes time for camping:

Hubby had a fishing tournament during our first scheduled camping trip. So it was Mama and the kids!
Girl Power! Started the fire, even had to put a plastic bag over my hand to unclog the sewer in the camper. Ugghhhhh!

An intertube, and the evening ocean!Entertaining for hours.

Daddy and his little buddy! Doing some night fishing in the surf.

Time for some unwinding with a margarita.

Just registered my youngest for Kindergarten. My older girls for their High School Classes. Working, BBQ'ing with family.
My 20th High School Reunion
School Shopping
Working
Checking on 18 year old son to make sure he is making good future choices - "What do you mean  you are going to hold off on taking some classes at the Junior College? Extending your summer a bit? WHAT?O.K. we will discuss this later! Yes,I love you too"
Getting mad at oldest teen daughter for trying to pull a fast one on us. - "Don't try to fool the masters little dear! Your dad and I were teens once too." 
My fourteen year old suddenly having the attitude of a prima donna! - "Who are  you? Where did you come from?"
My five year old wanting mommy to 'play with me.' every single second. - I am not sure how much more Littlest Pet Shop scenarios I can handle. 


I have been busy with just plain ol' family time. And it has felt good! It has been soothing, relaxing, fun! I love my kids! I love my husband, and right now, I am kinda lovin my life in general.

But school is starting soon, back to the old grind. Carpools, busy days, etc.

I will be back to blogging too, but right now, sunshine, beach, kids, husband and margaritas are taking precedence.

Cheers!

Here's to hoping that everyone has been having an AWESOME summer!

OH MY GOD - I wish I was never born!!!!!!!!!

"Oh my god, WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE ME?"

"You ruined my LIFE!"

"You are soooooooooooo embarrassing!No other parents do that!"

"******'s mom buys her whatever clothes she wants!"

"*****'s parents just took her to Contempo Casuals and bought her a new cropped shirt! Why can't you be like them?"

"What?? WHAT??? You said 'hi' to the boy I like???I'm NEVER going to school again! EVER!!!"

"Drop me off at the corner! The cor.....what?? What are you doing? Why are you pulling up in front of the school? I said the cooooorrrrrnnnnnneeeerrrrrr.............Ugggggghhhhh! So embarrassing!"

"Mom, are you seriously going to pull over and ask that kid if he wants a ride? WHY? He is in my math class, and he is a weirdo? I don't care if it's raining, you are soooo EMBARRASSING!!"

"Why are you waving at them?Soooooo embarassing!"

"On restriction? Are you serious? There is a HUGE party on Friday and everybody is going! I swear I will never roll my eyes or talk back to you again!I promise! I am so sorry......You are the best parents in the world...........Can't I get off restriction on Thursday? What? WHY?......You are the WORST parents in the entire world."         SLAM- "Sorry, I didn't mean to slam the door" - Yeah right, I DID mean to slam it!!!-     "What? Huh, I didn't say anything, I said 'I love you guys'"

"Wait! Dad, you are kidding me right? RIGHT? Did you really paddle your board over to a group of my guy friends out in the water, and ask which one was my boyfriend and then introduce yourself to him? Please tell me you are joking!............Yes it is a big deal..........I am going to kill myself. "  - SLAM- Door slams, "ha ha, let them think I'm in my room actually causing harm to myself".........................."umm, how come they are not checking on me?"..........."Don't they care?".....................UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

"Seriously Mom, when you pick my friends and I up from the mall, do we have to listen to Joan Baez, or Joni Mitchell, or the Neville Brothers, or whatever else you listen to? I am bringing my Kid n Play, or Rob Base cassette tapes!......Fine, compromise with my Pretty in Pink Soundtrack! Your music is so embarrassing, it is probably killing my friends ears."

Parents are certainly the most embarrassing people walking the face of the earth. Just ask any teenager, and you will see that the census sways in the direction of 'Parents just should not exist'

The above quotes?  They are all things that ......................

That.......

That I......

That I have heard from.......

That I have heard from my.....

That I have heard from my own two ears.

That I have heard from my own two ears,

Coming out of ........

Coming out of my OWN TWO LIPS!!!

Yes ladies and gentleman, I am the awful teen that spouted these words of hate and rebellion!

Spouting them vehemently from my own two lips!

What a wretched teen I was!

They were all from me.

Yup, sweet, wonderful daughter, J.R.!

I was a good kid, really not too bad, but gosh I could be a brat. A BIG GIANT BRAT!!!!! I loved my parents, and still do, more than anything in the entire world. But everything, and I mean everything, was embarrassing to me. I guess looking back on it, maybe I struggled with some self esteem issues. Always doubting what was cool, what would be accepted. I wish I could go back in time and give the teenage me a bit more confidence. I was not unpopular, I was not unattractive, I was not anything that could be looked at as negative for a teen.In fact, I was semi popular. Dipping one foot in with the Uber popular kids, and one foot in to the wading pool of semi popular. Not too shabby actually.  I think I was just plain and simply a TEEN! That is it. 

Nowadays, I am pretty sure about myself. I am not really lacking in self confidence, other than the occasional normal stuff. 

These days my parents do not embarrass me, just for the fact that they are breathing.In fact I love and appreciate them so much, that to say they ever embarrassed me nowadays would almost feel sacrilegious, ungrateful, down right awful. When I was a teen, they were not even able to breathe-Good lord, how dare they breathe or exist? Geez! Don't they know I have my teenage life and reputation to uphold. But now I need, love, and admire them so much that they better keep on breathing. Dammit, don't they know they have a daughter to keep on keeping on for?

But what I have actually come to the realization of is this- My parents are actually considered to be 'Cool'! Don't tell them that though, don't need any big heads goin on. They are not, nor were they ever cool in the way of being 'those parents'. You know, the ones that let you drink, stay out all night, cover for you, and help you roll your first joint.When you are young, those are the 'Cool' parents. I would hear rumors of 'Those' parents existing, and think 'Why was I not born to them'?

Or those other kind of 'Cool Parents'- The rich ones! My mom did not take me shopping every weekend like other moms, and I did not have a wardrobe that was to die for thanks to my 'super young fashionable rich' mom. My dad wasn't the kind of 'Daddy' that made me out to be 'Daddy's Princess', buying me a car for my 16th Birthday or lavishing me with gifts,money, and material items. My mom did not wear makeup, or understand my need for getting to the drugstore because I was out of mousse, and that is considered an emergency for a girl with a spiral perm. 

I would not realize until years later, and I would run into people from high school, that my parents were just cool, because........well, just because they were just plain COOL! 

My dad is a wonderful man. Honest, true, kind hearted, dependable, responsible, loving, caring and kind. Not to mention he is a surfer! He has surfed at the same beach since he was a kid, and is definitely a respected local. But most of all, my dad loves me! He never made me feel less than. He never put unrealistic expectations on me. He never made me feel bad, guilty, or awful for mistakes that I made. My dad has always loved me unconditionally.

My mom is a wonderful woman. Nurturer, loving, caring, and kindness beyond belief. Neighborhood kids knew that they could bring baby birds that they found on the ground TO HER!. She would feed it and take care of it. She was probably hipper, cooler, and more with it than I gave her credit for. I also have to say that maybe as a daughter, I was a bit harder to get along with than my brothers. Mothers and daughters just clash by nature. I, of course, am learning that now.My mom (like my dad) loves me one hundred percent UNCONDITIONALLY! And that is alot more than I can say for most parents.

I love my parents more than the sun, moon and stars! They don't embarrass me anymore.

They can't!

They just can't!

I am an adult!

I am secure!

I am confid.......

Confiden........

Confident!........

Oh, wait a minute!!

Oh Shit!!!

Wait, my mom is on Facebook!

My reputation!

DID SHE JUST BECOME FRIENDS WITH MY 7th GRADE BOYFRIEND????

Ohhhhhhh Nooooooooo, She Di'int!

Oh My God!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

Did she just comment on my 7th grade boyfriends picture that he posted 2 years ago (meaning that she has been spending the day 'creeping' on his old albums')

O.M.G.!!!!!

My daughters accuse me all the time of being a 'Facebook Creeper'
Me?
Not me, I am a cool mom!
Geez!

I am a teenager all over again, only I am not a teenager.I am a mature adult who appreciates my parents. Who loves my parents. I am incapable of being embarrassed..........DAMMIT......DAMMIT...

It is hard being older and mature! 

This is what I woke up to.
This is what I logged on to Facebook and saw this morning.

J.R.s Facebook Wall

J.R.'s Mom- Made a comment on 'J.R.s childhood boyfriends photo'

 Comment to a picture my off and on junior high/high school boyfriend posted of himself from Junior High.A YEAR AGO!! MOM, You creepin much??
You just became friends with him 2. 5 hours ago woman! 

WOW! Thanks Mom! Love you too! Facebook is NOT private ya know! Your last name??? Well, it was my last name all through school...........Yup!!! Everyone will know who your 'winky face' is talking about!

Ugghhh

You are a Cool Mom
You are a Cool Mom
Everyone Likes you
Everyone Likes You
Deep Breaths
Deep Breaths

Speed Dial Therapist
Speed Dial Therapist

Fuck , I don't have a Therapist
Xanax
Xanax

Xanax downed with Pear Cider

I don't have Xanax.......Ugghhh, I wish I did!

O.K. Deep Breaths.
Calming down
I'm Calm


You are a cool mom!

I'm sleepy


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

* I called my mom this morning

My dad answered

I started off the conversation saying "Dad, you remember in junior high when you paddled your longboard over to ***** and said "Hi, I'm J.R.'s dad!Just wanted to introduce myself"

"Yes! How could I forget? I 'ruined your life' that day. What about it?

"Well, you need to tell my mother she's killin me! That woman is killin me!"

"What did your mom do?"

"She commented on *****'s photo on Facebook!"

"Oh, well I can't control what she does on Facebook. Here let me hand the phone to her."

I hear laughs, mumbles, and more laughs

They think this is funny??

"Mom?"

"Uh, Oh, what did I do?"

All of a sudden I didn't have the heart.

All of a sudden I did not want to lecture my mom on embarrassing me.

All of a sudden a thought came into the forefront of my brain.

All of the people over the years that have told me,mentioned to me, or confided in me how much they really liked my parents growing up.

Including ***** my junior high boyfriend.

My mom is cool!

She has lived a long life, and most of that life she has had to endure me.

So I can endure her.

Why?

Because I would never want to wake up to a day where I didn't have her to endure,

Or love.

Happy 4th of July Everybody!