Thursday, February 21, 2013

When life hands you a BANANA, make banana/peanut butter/marshmallow/nutella sandwiches!

If you read this post then you know that I recently purchased a few too many bananas. 

I usually make banana bread, as Mimi had suggested, but this time I went a step further. 
A step further into the direction of committing one of the seven deadly sins. Can you say Gluttony?

Grilled Cheese sandwich?

Grilled Peanut Butter/Nutella/Banana/Marshmallow sandwich dipped in cinnamon sugar, cut into triangles and served warm?

What else should I have done with the extra bananas?
Something healthy?

The worst part?
I am trying to eat healthier. I had made these for my kids as an after school snack.
I am not always one of those moms that makes after school snacks, so don't barf!
I just happened to be home from work, in a peppy mood, and those extra bananas were calling out for my creative concoction making.
I only had one little know, to check for poisons and stuff. ;) 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

STOP BEING SO LAZY AND MAKE SOMETHING HEALTHY! This Mom is Taking a Stand, One Post-It Note at a Time!!

It is the same ol' story in households across the country.

Mom and Dad go grocery shopping,
Stock up on some good stuff
Healthy and Not so Healthy living together in one cupboard or refrigerator.
Not So Healthy always being the first to go.

Kids get home from school and are STARVING (which is another post in itself) 
They ask for a snack, when really they are looking for a 2000 calorie fourth meal.

What do they reach for?

Banana?      NO, Waffles.
Fruit I washed and cut up, because I know that is half the battle is them being too lazy to wash or cut it.?         NOPE, no fruit, they want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

Another setting - It is a Saturday afternoon, around 12:30. Kids start to herd into the kitchen, mumbling that they are hungry. I know this because I have supersonic hearing, which sometimes feels like a curse. 
I am hoping to god I hear the fridge door open; because let's face it. that is where most of the healthy stuff is. That is where anything that needs to be washed, cut up, or prepped has it's home. 
Do I hear the refrigerator door? NOPE
I hear the squeaky ass cupboard door. Cupboard - Home of SNACKS!!!
Then I walk around the corner and see the freezer door open. Freezer - Home of Waffles and Ice Cream.

Immediately I spring into action.
Psycho Kitchen Warden Mom takes charge, and starts in on her lectures.
"It is 12 freaking 30. LUNCH time! Make LUNCH! Cereal and waffles are for breakfast, which you already had, and don't get me started on the ice cream. 3 hours ago you were dousing your waffles with pure sugar, a.k.a. 5 pounds of syrup, and now you want to eat the ice cream? Make a sandwich first, then you can have a SMALL bowl of ice cream."

What am I met with? 
The moans, groans and grumbles of what you would think were teenagers living in a boot camp getting told to run 40 miles at 0300 in the pouring rain.

"A sandwich? Then I have to take out all the stuff. What do we even have good to make sandwiches? Turkey? I hate Turkey, and I'm sick of Peanut Butter and Jelly.
Never mind, I'm not hungry."

aaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddddd......... teenager exits the kitchen; with a look that should be saved for someone who just lost their childhood pet.

"Waaaa Waaaaaa! Want me to call you a WWWaaaaaaaa mbulance??"
I chuckle to myself.

"Ugghh, mom, no one even says that! You are such a weirdo!"

Hubby and I went grocery shopping on Sunday. The older girls were with friends at the beach, but I knew when they got home they were going to be hungry. So I sprung into action.
* By the way, when I write "these are for lunches" it means they are quick and easy snacks that are to be saved for packing in their school lunches.School lunches that should consist of a sandwich, some type of fruit, and one 'quick snack item'.
 Had to explain that, otherwise it makes me seem like a crazy mom contradicting myself. 

"Waffles are for breakfast only. Grab a banana!!"

My kids think that Goldfish or Cheez its are an acceptable substitute for a sandwich. When they pack their own lunches in the morning, they will stand there pouring the whole box into a zip loc, and call it a meal.
Chocolate Chip Granola Bars are gone in 2.2 seconds in this house. Not any more! Not with my new Post -It note plan!
Cereal is for BREAKFAST!!!
and for mom's late night snack, but these rules don't apply to mom.
I am an adult! I can do what I want! I pay for the cereal!
You kids go make a sandwich!

* Oh, by the way. When you go grocery shopping with hubby, and you both venture off on your own; throwing stuff in the cart without checking if your hubby already did the same, you end up with double of a few things.
So I am pretty serious now......these kids really need to eat some fricking bananas!

See the picture below?
This is my fridge stocked with fruits, vegetables, yogurt, and sandwich fixings.
Ohhhhhhh, but that is too much work!!!
It is so much easier to grab a Chocolate Chip Granola Bar!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

10 most dangerous teen fads- I have 'Good Kids', and I know for a fact mine have tried atleast two of these

Here is a link to an article I read this morning on MSN. My kids always, and I mean ALWAYS make fun of me for quoting articles that I read. Mostly parenting articles. But oh well, too bad, sooooo sad!!
10 most dangerous teen fads

I remember when my son decided to move to Orange County with my ex husband. He was sixteen and wanted to try living with dad. Orange County is made up of a bit more money than what we have. So I immediately imagined my son at high school parties snorting Pure Cut Cocaine off of a $1,000,000 antique mirror, through a platinum and diamond encrusted blow straw. I mean, he was going to be hanging out with Rich Kids, while their parents were away jet setting around the world.
Then I read about 'Punch Bowl Parties'!! I immediately called him on the phone, and preached to him the dangers of digesting any colorful pill from a punch bowl.

The phone went dead


"C, you there? Did  you hear me? Be careful at parties, and stay away from pills in a punch bowl"

"Crap mom, seriously, you need to not read parenting articles off of the internet, and you especially need to trust me! In fact, mostly you just need to trust me! Pills out of a punch bowl?? I've never even heard of that. Maybe the people who write those articles are going to Pill Parties, huh?! Love ya mom, I gotta go! I'm gonna go smoke some crack............Kidding! Love ya Ma!"

So I laid off of the whole process of reading an article about some crazy teen party fad, and then instantly assuming my children were partaking. I stopped my obsession with the fact that my girls were going to go to slumber parties and 'choke each other till they passed out', or my son would be high fiving his buddies, after digesting a rainbow of pills belonging to some teen boys pill popping mom.

I have good kids. My son is right, I just need to trust them.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can breathe!

But you know what?

Even good kids make stupid mistakes.
Even good kids can have a lapse in judgment from time to time.
Even good kids can choose to make a 'not good' choice.

So if you click on the link 10 most dangerous teen fads and read through them, I will tell you this.

My 'Good Kids'? They have tried a couple of these.

The Ice Cube Salt trick? - My son. Thank god it didn't get infected, or worse.
The Cinnamon Challenge? -  My daughters friends post their videos on Facebook. Hacking, coughing, almost throwing up. My daughter (The one with the Straight A's, and in 2 Honors classes)  was grossed out and thought they were stupid. 3 months later she changed her mind. Had a sore throat and a cough for a while, and finally wondered out loud to me "I wonder if there is still Cinnamon in my throat?"  WTF was my first thought! Followed by a very long talk.
Passing out game? (not on this list, but....) -  Heard from a friend of a friend, of a friend that my daughter had tried this at a slumber party 2 years ago. My frail, skinny, tiny little daughter? All I imagined was her passing out, and never waking up.I approached her on the subject, and she admitted that her and her friend actually were the ones who did not want to really do it, so they teamed up and really only pretended to do it. I called the friends mom, and in the end we believe our daughters that they faked the choking. But as you are reading this, aren't you asking yourself - "FAKE CHOKING?? IS THIS EVEN A 'THING'? WTF" - Yeah, WTF, get's asked a lot around here. Sorry!
Synthetic Marijuana - My son who is now 19, and not so stupid,but every kid is stupid at some time, so I guess he is kinda stupid,  admitted to trying this once. His buddy had some, and he tried it. Didn't like it, end of story.

The list has quite a few that I am praying my children have not, and will never try.

Car surfing?? - Guess what, my husband has a scar on his chin, and  a piece of asphalt still imbedded into his knee from truck surfing as a teen.

I am not sure exactly what my point was when writing this post, but I think I can summarize a thought.

Every parent thinks they have good kids. (unless you obviously gave birth to the son of Satan,and you knew this because of the horns and tail), and most of us do have good kids.

My children really are 'good', even though they are teenagers. And I guess that brings me to my point.


They are thrown into a giant pool of pressure. Maybe not the peer pressure that exists in an after school special; remember those programs?
In fact, my kids laugh at me when I use the phrase 'peer pressure'. They say nobody acts like they do in the movies. There isn't a group that surrounds you, shoving a joint in your face, strong arming you and saying "Come on, all the cool kids are doing it! Don't you want to be cool too?"

So that kind of peer pressure may not be happening, but there is a stealth, hidden pressure that I think just exists. Teens are inundated every single second of their day by social media, and of course the friends that are soaking in the social media, and it just keeps going.

I can't be with them every single second of their day.
I can't follow them to every slumber party, or get together.
I can only keep talking to them, opening up conversation, and yes,
I can keep bringing up the articles I read.
Because maybe out of the twenty crazy things that I read about that teens all over the world are trying, 
my 'good kids' may be getting ready to try one. Or they already did, and they'd like to get it off of their chest.
For every bad choice they may make, they are making 50 more good choices, and for that I will praise my kids........but boy will I lecture or punish the hell out of them for that one bad choice.

Parenting is hard.
My parents worried that I would do drugs, drink and have sex.

Not that I would digest a spoonful of cinnamon while being choked, after digesting pills from a punch bowl, before going car surfing and downing a Robitussin concoction. 

A toast to parents, and just trying to make it through the teen years!

And a toast to the teens, because they really do have a lot comin at them from all directions. They are just trying to make it through as well.
Am I actually old enough to say "I miss the good ol' days"?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Mistaken infection 'on the prairie'? Walnut Grove, my second my dreams of course.

Mistaken infection 'on the prairie'?

Little House on the Prairie was by far my FAVORITE show growing up. I read all the books, watched every episode, I had the lunchbox with matching thermos,I wore pigtail braids like Laura, and instead of J.R I secretly wished I had a cool nickname, like, ohhhhh, like Half Pint!
Ma and Pa were the best. When Ma made chicken and dumplings in the kettle, I could practically smell them through the television. I wanted to wear a bonnet, and walk to school (well wanting to walk to school may be stretching it, but walking through a prairie with crops as tall as myself always looked fun)
Oh and Laura became a teacher at 16 and got to marry Almanzo at what? 17? Now that seemed awesome.

So I log on to MSN and see the article that Mary's blindness was NOT caused by Scarlet Fever, it was most likely caused by meningoencephilitis. So for any die hard Little House on the Prairie fans out there that have spent their lives full of pride that they know every detail, every in-n-out, every trivia game answer pertaining to The Ingalls Clan, well now you know one more fact. You can rest at night.

I have tried to get my teen daughters to sit down with me and watch 'the greatest show on earth' when the reruns play, but somehow they don't last more then 10 minutes. Seems as though the courting of Mary and Adam, or the school girl crush of Laura and Almanzo cannot compete with The 'Situation' and Snookie of the Jersey Shore.
Maybe my six year old little girl will watch it with me. Oh, but Ma and Pa Ingalls aren't as slap stick funny as the parents on Good Luck Charlie.

Oh well! The whole town of Walnut Grove,and every person in it will always hold a special place in my heart; well everyone except the rapist who assaulted Albert's first love. Remember that episode? Weird! Awful! That episode tormented me for a while. That wasn't the 'Little House' I knew and loved. Let's move on....

Where was I? Walnut Grove, I miss you! You were a huge part of my childhood, and your theme song always gives me goosebumps.

* Oh, if anyone ever comes across a Little House on the Prairie metal lunchbox with matching thermos, let me know. I'd love to get my hands on one. Just for the memories. :)

Monday, February 4, 2013

Why did I give my daughter a baseball bat to bang on the floor? WHY?? I need a baseball bat to hit myself over the head.

Summary of my past few weeks

  • Teen daughters dance show, took up a bit of my time. Preparing props and all.
  • WAIT!!! Let me rewind....the flu has been in my house off and on since Christmas.
  • Doctors appointments
  • My Birthday last Friday! Cause for celebration? YES! Cause for stress? Well...errr, HELL YEAH! When you show up at Beni Hana with your party of six (you, hubby and your four kids) and expect it to be a fun night, and then your six year old tugs your sleeve right when Chef Cesar (Cesar is a Japanese name?) begins his culinary show, and she has her hands over her mouth saying "Mommy, the smell makes me want to throw up" and suddenly you notice her cheeks are as red as a Crayola Crayon, and her forehead is burning up, and how in the hell did your daughter develop the flu on the 13 minute car ride from your house to the restaurant, and please dear god do NOT let her puke all over the Beni Hana grill, and WHY IS THIS HAPPENING ON MY BIRTHDAY??? Well, HELL F*CKING YES YOUR BIRTHDAY TURNS TO STRESS! That is o.k., there is always next year. I am also going to write a post about my Birthday Celebration, pre-puking!
  • Six Year old daughter has flu!
  • Fourteen year old daughter wakes up this morning with 'the worst sore throat ever' and a fever that may even make the devil himself die from heat stroke. 
  • I work from home on Mondays. Six year old daughter is upstairs. Fourteen year old daughter is downstairs. Home office is in the back of the house where you can't hear either one of them. Fourteen year old daughter has taken to texting me when she is need of medicine, tea, or just to let me know again, that her throat hurts like she has swallowed needles. Six year old is throwing up off and on (mostly feels like ON) coughing, and clutching her stomach in pain. She does not want me 'to go downstairs mommy...ever!' But mommy has to go downstairs, so she came up with what she thought was a good idea. 

'Just bang the bat on the floor honey. I will hear it when I am downstairs.'
I have never regretted a sentence more than I regret that one.

Please! Please don't make me walk up and down anymore. 

If you are wondering why I don't just have both daughters up in my bed. Or both daughters all snuggled downstairs on the couch.
Don't'cha think I had thought of that?
Both daughters are pretty lethargic and really just want to stay put. Neither wanted to go out on the couch. Which shows how sick they are. Usually the couch is 'fun'. Nope, not today.

Wait! Be my phone buzzing? Oh, yes it's a text from my daughter. She wants me to shut her window. Her fever has broke, and now she is freezing.

Enter the dungeon of a fourteen year old sickie! 

Wait....Be quiet again!! Shhh, what is that pounding noise? Oh, the baseball bat.

"I will be right there honey. I'm downstairs shutting your sisters window and making her some tea."

"O.K. Honey, you can really stop pounding the floor now. Give mommy two more seconds. I'm runnin upstairs now."

"Mommy is here honey. What did you need?"

"My tummy hurts."

"You wanted me to run upstairs so you could tell me that again?"
Deep Breaths. Deep Breaths. 

*I am now waiting for the hubby to get home from work so we can take the girls to Urgent Care (as their doctor was leaving early today) 
Since I am sure they will want to hydrate my six year old with an i.v., the hubby is definitely going, as i will need his help for that. 
Do you think the urgent care will allow baseball bats. I mean if I am going to be hopping between the two daughters rooms, she may need it. 

Or I may need it to knock my own lights out.


Oh, by the way, J.R. did not write this post. The tired zombie that has taken over J.R.'s body wrote this. The real J.R. is running up and down the stairs.