Sunday, September 18, 2011

SHUT THE DOOR!!!!!! please

So, Bailey the cat is doing great! I have signs posted on each door so that we always remember to SHUT THE D*M DOOR!!!!!!!! Goodness, Gracious if that cat ever got out, my little 4 year old would be devastated! Therapy sessions, hypnotic mind erasing procedures, tranquilizers........they would all be needed. (and I'm talking about myself, because the guilt would eat at me like vultures to a dead squirrel) Bailey would be a nice little appetizer for the Chupacabra that live down in our canyon. Coyotes, some may call them, but doesn't Chupacabra sound so much more frightening? Mystical? Folk Lore-ish? The Chupacabra can be heard at night, screaming, cackling, taunting. Bailey dipped in some ranch dressing. That is what they are waiting for. They are seriously hoping that one day, that ditzy mom with the four kids will forget, and she will leave that sliding glass door open. Then Bailey will go running, full speed ahead straight into their arms. (or skinny, raggedy, mangy little paws)
But so far, so good! No body forgets to shut a door- well except people that don't live here. It is a strange thing to yell at people who you normally would never raise a voice too. But something about having an "indoor cat" gives you that right! I kinda like it. I can take out my aggression on unsuspecting people. "SHUT THE DOOR!!!! THE CAT!!!! THE DOOR, SHUT IT NOWWWW!!" Ahhhh- I feel so much better. Then I take the tone back down a few decibels, and pleasantly say "oh, you know, its an indoor cat. It would just devastate our daughter if anything ever happened to itty bitty Bailey. You understand right?" Then I smile. Nobody is exempt from my door shutting wrath. Not the poor religious solicitors, the pizza man who probably wonders why I pay him with only my face poking through a crack in the door, all the while darting my eyes, swinging my head my from left to right keeping an eye out for the sneaky little cat. I hand him my money, in such a hurry saying "keep all of it, change is your tip" not realizing I just gave him a ten dollar tip for a $8.99 pizza. Then I open the door a tiny bit more, he slips me the pizza sideways to fit through the 5 inches of space I have left, then I slam the door before he even has time to say "Thank you mam" or realize that the crazy cat lady just gave him a 125% tip. 
I go inside, pronounce to the family that dinner is served, my husband asks for the change, I tell him "Oh, about that". The kids start spilling into the kitchen, grabbing their plates, pouring their sodas. And then K runs in, gives Bailey a huge hug (well a huge choke hold, but what do you expect from a four year old who loves her cat more than the world. She's just giving her a little extra love squeeze) She laughs while she is patting Bailey on the head."Oooh, Bailey! You are so silly. I love, love, love you"
So I will continue to be crazy, yelling, sign making, door slamming, cat lady! I will because Baileys life, and my daughters happiness depend on it. All the kids in fact. Everyone loves Bailey. She is a cool cat, she.......wait, wait a minute. Who left the D*M DOOR OPEN??? What in the .......................I Gotta Go. There is someone to yell at!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Family Portraits

My preschooler has to fill a brown paper bag called the "ME" bag with 4 items that tell about her. One needs to be a family picture................................. So far I have gone through 3 picture albums, 1 box, and 15 different files on my computer looking for just the perfect picture. What would the perfect picture be? Well, ummm, well........OK, I am actually looking for the  perfect picture of myself. End of story!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I am sitting at the computer eating snickerdoodles and washing them down with a big glass of milk. One of my best gal pals told me about these delicious cookies, and since we have the same 'style' in food, I knew they'd be yum!! And yes, if you are wondering, they are really, REALLY, good! Thanks D!
I decided to take my little baby bear with me to Fresh n Easy to get these cookies. I did this after picking her up from pre-school. She is an "all-dayer" now. Which is another way of saying, Mommy does not get to be a stay at home mommy like she was dreaming of. Mommy does not get to do arts and crafts with you at the kitchen table, while she brews another pot of coffee. Mommy does not get to snuggle with you on the couch for a mommy daughter afternoon nap. Mommy does not get to look you in your big beautiful, hazel eyes and so "no, Nan's, actually you don't have to go to school all day today. You get to stay home with Mommy. We are going to go do some errands, then you can color me a picture, then we will water the yard and feed the fish. After that, you can help me get stuff ready for dinner. Then we will make some snacks for when your older sisters get home from school. And daddy will come home from work, and say "what did my favorite girls do today? You are so lucky to have a mommy that is home with you."  [insert cheesy,happy Daddy grin, followed by jolly Leave it to Beaver laugh]
Nope I am dropping my daughter off right now for full day pre-school and every morning she is sad. Last year when she only went 3 hours for 3 days, it was truly like Disneyland to her.We signed her up more for some social time, while mommy worked a few hours a day. She would wake up with the hugest smile on her face, so excited to go. Now she looks at me and says "mommy, I want you" as she is hanging onto my blouse.
WOW!! Hope its worth it!!! Really hope its worth it!!

I didn't feel like being funny today. I usually try to be humorous about everything, well atleast I usually figure out how to turn even the suckiest (yes, Suckiest is in my personal dictionary stored in my brain) anyway, I can turn a sucky situation into a funny one when I put it on paper. But today, I just wasn't feelin it. Not after I pulled into that pre-school, walked to the playground and just spied on my baby bear for a few minutes. She is the sweetest, most awesome child in the world. And when she looked up, saw that I was standing there,she ran to me like you would not believe. She literally jumped in my arms, whispering "mommy, you're here. I wanted you today mommy" 

Yup, I'm not feeling funny today. But maybe a week from now I will. Maybe a week from now, the story of her jumping into my arms will take on a life of its own. And in that new story, I will have fallen backwards into the sandbox, where I dislocated my hip, and had to be carted away by an ambulance. All the while, children were running, screaming and crying from the crazy lunatic mommy who could not stop whaling "Holy Sh*T, Mother F*CKER! Dear God, Help ME! I THINK MY HIP IS BROKEN!!" Yeah, that would be pretty funny at my little ones Catholic Pre-School!
One Day Baby Bear!! One day mommy will not have to work. One day I will be a stay at home mommy!A Stay at home mommy on disability, in a half body cast. But by golly, I'll be home
Love you Baby Bear!